I think I may be depressed....But then I don't like therapists, I feel like I can't be myself. I've been OK for a while, but then practically everyday, I feel like I'm not in the social loop. I post a lot on many sites about this, and people get confused/perplexed, but then to me it's the source of all of my problems. I know that life is not perfect, but then I'm 28 and never had a gf before. And it's because I'm not in the social loop, and I don't know what all others did to get into it.
I have a lot of goals, but then there are a few things preventing me from being in the happy medium. I haven't really had friends since I was about 16, sounds really weird/****ed up/pathetic, but then I don't get what I'm doing wrong. If I could just get a social circle/gf, then things would be OK, I can take the rough with the smooth (as IMHO we must as humans).
The thing is though is that I do yoga twice a week, and i'm kind of casual friends with the teacher. she's near my age, but she said once in class she became a yoga teacher because she got depressed and yoga saved her life. I want to ask her how she did it to overcome it, but it's a personal thing to ask. We got on OK, but then well yeah..it's personal, don't want to offend her. The thing is that I to be honest fear therapy, because i've had some bad experiences with it in the past, and it in all honesty confuses me. I've read some therapy stuff online, and they say "smile" or "be respectful!" but then I find most my age don't smile. I just wish sometimes (well often) that I would have got the tools in life as a teenager. Then I could have gone to uni, got a gf, and well....meh...
I don't have things as bad as others here do, so I guess I shouldn't complain. But then I know that people must help themselves, and I think by learning how to get knowledge and progress, I can be OK.
tl;dr
To suffice, I just want to:
- Learn the tools from long ago to get on/get gf
- Know if it's acceptable to ask my yoga teacher how she used it to get herself better
- I fear therapy, since I cannot be myself without being judged, even for things that aren't considered mental disorders. As an example, when I was 21, I told them I spent a day playing an online game and they said it's "not normal, and mentally abnormal". So it was normal for millions of other 21 years olds (and is today), but not for me lol..
Thanks for reading. This is why I posted in the other grand thread about knowledge...I know it's difficult to explain or comprehend, but then it's just how I feel.