This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Mental Health Support Society Mk XIV

Scroll to see replies

I don't really know what to say but I seriously know how you feel. I used to feel similar. All I can say is even though it may seem like a big deal now, it really really isn't. You can still absolutely get into Oxford and your results are still outstanding. One day you will realise that these things are much more insignificant than you first thought. Having said that, I hope that the remark is successful as it sounds like you deserved that A :hugs:

Thank you so much, lovely. Putting things ito perspective is clearly something I struggle with :hugs:

how you all doing?

Original post by rebeccafrances

Thank you so much, lovely. Putting things ito perspective is clearly something I struggle with :hugs:

I wouldn't say that - I think it really just depends on circumstances at the time. :console:

I remember when I was doing my A levels, it felt like the most important thing in the world, and I, like you, wanted to be perfect. However over the last year or so at uni, it's kind of clicked that all of that was insignificant, and I wish I hadn't worried so much. For instance, I worked so hard and achieved good grades, only to go to uni and become even more ill and completely flopped the year. I did very poorly, and had an utterly miserable and horrible time. Meanwhile, I see people who did significantly worse than me in their A levels, who ended up at the same uni as me (and one who is actually on my exact course!) and had a great time and were very happy. And then there were others who missed their grades for uni entirely, and so took a gap year, and say that it was the best thing that ever happened to them. Then they applied again and are going to uni this September, so really nothing was lost. Sorry that was giant ramble, but I hope you sort of get my point - that even if things don't go 'perfectly', that things always work out, and if things do go perfectly, then it's not guaranteed that things will be okay or that you will be happy. Please don't stress too much and focus on celebrating your outstanding results :hugs:

Reply 103

samba

Original post by rebeccafrances

But the perfectionist side of me (the 99% side of me...) knows that it was all my fault. I've never got a D in my entire life. My teachers used my work in English as an example throughout the year. I got As in almost every essay I wrote. I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAILURE. And the worst thing is how badly I feel I've let my teachers down. One in particuar had so much faith in me and was sure that her 'top student' would perform outstandingly. Even though I'm not the only one in this situation, I feel like an absolute fraud. It makes my stomach flip every time I think about it. I don't want to face people at school. So much was expected of me.

I dunno about exams specifically but I tend to demand perfection from both myself and others in pretty much every walk of life, often ending in walking away or tormenting myself over things. The need to be perceived as perfect, as well as 'good enough' internally is pretty much overarching. Don't even ask how that translates to relationships :lol:

I'd be pissed as hell if I didn't top my class, in anything and everything.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 104

username861942

Original post by Noodlzzz

how you all doing?

I'm doing alright thank you :smile:

how's you?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 105

rebeccafrances

Original post by ScaryScience

I wouldn't say that - I think it really just depends on circumstances at the time. :console:

I can't thank you enough! The majority of people I would never even express my disappointment to about this, because they think I'm being, I don't know...academically spoilt? They'll say things like 'well you did loads better than me' and I think, 'yeah, but it's all relative - it doesn't mean it's what I wanted, just because it's better than what you got'. Like I said, it's the letting others down factor that gets me the most - I can't help but feel like a massive disappiontment to my English teachers right now, but fingers crossed for the remark, I suppose :ta:

Sorry to hear about your uni experience, but good luck for next year :h:

Reply 106

username861942

Original post by ScaryScience

oh don't worry, story of my life. ive gone so far to try and get/engage with support, at the detriment of my own health, only to be batted away, dismissed or devalued which causes further deterioration. I've been failed. the state of the psychiatry and mental health services I have experienced is nothing short of disgusting imo.

This countries mental health services are in a terrible state at the moment. Staff are overworked and some just don't seem to care. It's disgusting. Don't get me wrong, there are some amazing workers, but it's the system that stops them delivering good care. I really hope that one day you will find one of the "good guys" and get the help you need. I know how demoralizing it is, but never give up hope.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Just subsscribing.

pretty sure i must have been very ill at the end of my placement as i have no idea what happened in the sessions, and i didnt write any notes down. not sure what to do in my diaries about this :s-smilie:

do i miss them out? do i make them up?
:s-smilie:

Reply 109

jft18

Hi everyone,
Not been around on here for a long time, thought a new thread was a good time to pop up!
Hope you're all doing ok!
:hugs:

Reply 110

Meaty_man

Original post by bullettheory

Just want to say this is my experience too. Its hard to get the support you need, since there are so many cutbacks, there are good honest people that genuinely care, but you do have to look for them.

The system doesn't work, there are quite a few reasons but it basically comes down to the higher ups not wanting to spend the money, and not really caring. They just throw a little money at things and expect them to work out, needless to say things don't sort themselves out.

You just have to keep fighting until they cave in, even if its hard.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 111

sherbet_lemons7

Original post by james1211

Loneliness is not the same as being alone, you can have lots of friends and family and still feel lonely :jumphug:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Its so painful. :cry2:

Reply 112

PandaWho

Original post by bullettheory

Ah the infamous placement diaries... I've never done them but I've heard a lot of things about them from my social work friends... Good luck with the diaries, I'm sure you will do fine.

Fingers crossed indeed, just desperate to get back to uni.

Posted from TSR Mobile

if you ever have to do them DO THEM EACH WEEK DONT LEAVE IT TILL THE END OF PLACEMENT hahaha

iv taken my tutors "dont worry about them too much" to mean "miss out the weeks where nothing happened, and only put in a few bits of theory"

hopefully it will be ok, we will be thinking of you!

Reply 113

ScaryScience

Original post by bullettheory

Yes. I think that there definitely people who are kind and understanding, and are doing it for the right reasons, but agree that with the way the system is at the moment, they simply cannot work to their full potential. I have to say though, I'm yet to really meet anyone, apart from maybe 1 GP who was bothered enough to actually try and help, and who didn't make me feel worse. The rest of the people I've met are heartless and callous. I have no idea how they got into mental health care. Having said that, the area I got most of my support in are notorious for providing **** care, even for physical health. So it's no surprise that psychiatric care I in absolute tatters.

Reply 114

Odd socks

Just got home from work, I am the sleepiest sock :0

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 115

ChaoticButterfly

Original post by Odd socks

Just got home from work, I am the sleepiest sock :0

Posted from TSR Mobile

That's sounds really adorable for some reason :tongue:

You have the bestest username as well.

Reply 116

PandaWho

Original post by Odd socks

Just got home from work, I am the sleepiest sock :0

Posted from TSR Mobile

i think your allowed to go to sleep :yep:

Reply 117

sherbet_lemons7

So apparently Im an attention seeking cow who deserves everything she gets and deserved the sexual abuse that went from age eight (god knows how they found out about that) and I think Im the "only one whos ever had it hard". I give up Im ****ing done im done with this.