New girlfriend won't orgasm / doesn't enjoy sex

Have you asked her what exactly she likes? Maybe there's something more unusual that she's into that you haven't tried? And in terms of sex - maybe she just doesn't like certain positions?

Most guys don't realise that penetrative can actually bloody hurt. That's what happened to me and it put me off sex for years, I used to just grit my teeth and do it for the guy... But as you can imagine I was never that keen. Make sure she isn't in pain would be my first advice.

Secondly, lots of women can't orgasm. It's a much more complicated process. It takes a lot of psychological focus as well as specific physical stuff. Maybe talk to her and find out if she has ever been able to, maybe she is able to get there if she does it herself? Often if a girl is used to doing it herself it's a lot different when a guy does it and can take some getting used to.

It may just be she has a very low sex drive, which is also perfectly normal. That's something you're gonna have to work around.

Do you think she feels fully comfortable and relaxed? That's very important for girls to enjoy sex.

Few points here.
Firstly…very few women can actually 'come'…despite what they tell you. There is nothing worse than being ****ed (for want of a better word), when you know that the guy is desperately trying to make you come. Sex can be and is still really really good, even without an orgasm.

Most women can't orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Try focusing on a couple of areas at once, if you get what I mean! And if she finds it hard to tell you what she likes, make a game or something out if it - e.g.. you tell her one thing, she tell you one thing so she doesn't feel like all the pressures on her.

I don't think she is in pain, because once she was hurting and she immediately told me and we stopped. She gets very well lubricated too and I'm not hitting the bottom, so i dont think that's the issue. (Or maybe that IS the issue ;/?)

Low sex drive.. that could definitely be it. I personally have a pretty high sex drive, I like to have sex twice a day, at least every morning.



Good point - I think overall she feels very relaxed around me, but maybe she might still be slightly nervous. I can usually spot it though and i don't think that's the case. The first times she would even sleep with her clothes on but now she even walks naked around me sometimes so she has relaxed a lot



Very interesting point actually, never tought about this. I'm glad I haven't told her about my frustration yet, since that could only make things worse. I just always feel upset after sex because I think it's only half way done if only I came. As I also always have to initiate the sex it makes me feel a little unwanted.



Will try

Very interesting point actually, never tought about this. I'm glad I haven't told her about my frustration yet, since that could only make things worse. I just always feel upset after sex because I think it's only half way done if only I came. As I also always have to initiate the sex it makes me feel a little unwanted.

Good point - I think overall she feels very relaxed around me, but maybe she might still be slightly nervous. I can usually spot it though and i don't think that's the case. The first times she would even sleep with her clothes on but now she even walks naked around me sometimes so she has relaxed a lot

She might be personally and romantically comfortable around you, but not sexually? Especially if she has performance anxiety. You also say you've had quite a few partners, has she? She might feel too inexperienced.

You also say you've only known her two weeks but you've had sex fifteen times. While I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it does seem very frequent considering the sex isn't going well. You say you've initiated it all as well, it sounds like she might feel a little pressured, maybe give her a bit more space. I don't mean to sound judgemental, because I know how hard it is, if you have a fit girl with you who you know will consent to sex with you, but it may be best in the long term.

Lastly, and possibly a bit controversially, have you done it with her drunk? A few drinks can really let a girl's inhibitions go.

But really, all we can do is speculate, she's got to be honest with you to make much progress. But it's only been two weeks, so just be patient.

Yeah that could be a good idea just to wait for her to make a move! the problem is just that now we are dating long distance and only seeing each other for weekends.

Haven't tried it drunk, as personally i get very uninterested in sex if I'm drunk as I lose all my senses. Perhaps a few drinks could help her out though!