would you cosider this as rape?

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Original post by The_Mediocre_One

I don't drink but occasionally do go on a night out with friends for a special occasion and many times drunk girls including some of my friends can be ridiculously alluring and start dancing, touching and groping me. I'm usually not interested in these girls and end up telling them to stop or push them away, also I'm too smart to get involved with a girl who might be completely smashed and accuse me of rape in the future even though they are clearly the ones initiating the move. I was in a massively packed and busy club once when a hot girl wouldn't let go of my penis which led to a pretty awkward erection however I was trying to get away from her because she was incredibly drunk and completely out of her senses, in theory I was raped but I never thought about reporting her because she was drunk, more than anything I tried to get away from her for my own safety because I didn't want to be accused of raping a drink girl.

The point is it's not only guys who are making moves and initiating when drunk, the gap between men and women once drunk closes very substantially.

How is someone grabbing your dick rape? :lolwut:

Reply 61

Mankytoes

Original post by TolerantBeing

Huh? How did you arrive at that conclusion? Like you said, we don't know any of the details?

The logic is amazing. My mate got beaten unconscious, but he doesn't remember it so it isn't assault.

Reply 62

joker12345

Original post by geometrix

Whoever initiates it is the rapist.

Nope, only someone who forces someone into sex is a rapist, if the I were both drunk but had sex one isn't a rapist just because they initiated

Reply 63

InsertWittyName

Original post by TolerantBeing

How is someone grabbing your dick rape? :lolwut:

It's not rape, but it is sexual assault/ molesting.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 64

Mankytoes

Original post by joker12345

Nope, only someone who forces someone into sex is a rapist, if the I were both drunk but had sex one isn't a rapist just because they initiated

If you have sex with someone who isn't able to consent you're a rapist, not if you "force" them. Would you consider someone who has sex with someone who is asleep a rapist? They haven't forced them, your definition is way off British law.

Reply 65

joker12345

Original post by TolerantBeing

Huh? How did you arrive at that conclusion? Like you said, we don't know any of the details?

Obviously I am speaking purely from what we know. It is not rape until proven so, and as she has no idea what happens, but knows they were both drunk it's ridiculous to accuse him of rape.

Reply 66

CJKay

Original post by geometrix

According to the law, if you're drunk, you can't fully give consent.

According to the law men can't be raped but anybody who has spent more than 5 minutes thinking about this has realised the law on rape is bull**** as it is.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 67

joker12345

Original post by Mankytoes

The logic is amazing. My mate got beaten unconscious, but he doesn't remember it so it isn't assault.

Not really the same thing now, is it. I probably should have phrased better, she doesn't know whether she consented so we cannot assume it's rape and she shouldn't report him.

Reply 68

tazarooni89

Original post by Anonymous

i was at a party a few months ago, i felt absolutely horrible before i got there so i thought i'd get very very drunk to feel better for a few hours. i was talking to one of my friends who is a guy while drinking and in no time i was blacked out and completely lost control and he had sex with me. i had no idea about it until a few hours later until someone told me while i was sobering up. apparently he was drunk too. he was my friend and i did not want it to happen. would you say that it was rape or not? i don't know really know what to think anymore.

I can't tell whether "blacked out" means you were literally unconscious, or whether it's just a period of time that you have no recollection of. So this is not enough information to determine whether or not it was rape. If you consented (either explicitly, or clearly but implicitly), then it is not rape. Otherwise, it is.

Reply 69

bens...,

She was so drunk she blacked out! How can you be sure she didn't consent? And, until the alleged is found guilty there is no 'victim', just a drunk girls plans on ruining another person's life!

Reply 70

joker12345

Original post by Mankytoes

Rape: The crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will:
Oxford dictionary definition.

Reply 71

joker12345

Original post by geometrix

You didn't consent. Therefore it was rape. Just because you chose to drink that night does NOT make it your fault. It is never, ever, ever the victim's fault.

We do not know whether she consented.

Reply 72

Green_Pink

The only way that legally isn't rape is if the man could reasonably have believed you were sober enough to consent. Given he was talking to you, knew you had drunk a very large amount and you clearly weren't in control of yourself, that is very hard to believe. So yes, it is rape :frown:

Reply 73

FutureHeartSurg

Original post by Anonymous

If you have to ask that question, the answer is usually yes

Reply 74

LostGear

Original post by Deteriorate

You were both drunk.You never know maybe you were the one asking him to have sex with you and now you've forgotten?
You don't remember what happened. Does he? Does he remember how it initiated etc?
Probably best to find out everything before you consider that you've been raped.
No offence but women seem to jump the fence too quick these days.

If you have that's very sad, report it.

But in my opinion you haven't because you were both drunk. And he didn't get you drunk you got yourself drunk. So by accusing him of doing this without knowing what happened you could possibly ruin his life for something that occurred because of you.

This.

It is absolutely disgusting how some here have already labelled him the perpetrator without any evidence! :angry:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 75

Surrey Bubble15

Original post by geometrix

You didn't consent. Therefore it was rape. Just because you chose to drink that night does NOT make it your fault. It is never, ever, ever the victim's fault.

This is downright stupid. Have you read the comments above that demonstrate it isn't rape, given the circumstances and how the guy was "drunk" etc etc? This just sounds like a blinkered PC lefty response to something that is more complicated than "it's never ever ever the victim's fault"

Reply 76

Mankytoes

Original post by joker12345

Not really the same thing now, is it. I probably should have phrased better, she doesn't know whether she consented so we cannot assume it's rape and she shouldn't report him.

I'm not saying it's the same thing, it's a comparison, I'm pointing out the flaw in your logic in saying that because you don't remember something, it didn't happen. You're saying now that's not what you meant, so fair enough.

She could, however, ask other people at the party, see what they saw/heard, etc. I agree we shouldn't assume it's rape, but she clearly feels it could well have been, so it seems a bit dismissive to just drop it. I totally understand why many woman don't want to go through a court case, but even if she is ok with the situation, it should be considered that someone who commits sexual assault is much more likely to do it again.

Original post by joker12345

Rape: The crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will:
Oxford dictionary definition.

Well it isn't a great definition, it doesn't mention consent, and surely it's the British legal definition that matters, not the dictionary definition?

I also don't know why you'd reply and not answer my question, but I'll ask again- "Would you consider someone who has sex with someone who is asleep a rapist?"

Reply 77

danconway

You legally did not have the capacity to consent. Neither did he. Both raping each other? Except women can only 'sexually assault' men... Hmm... Morally, it's not rape, it's just an unfortunate occurrence. He certainly did not commit rape - and for all you feminists out on the warpath, it is not automatically the man's fault - and the man is in no way the default 'aggressor' in this kind of circumstance.

You were both drunk. Neither of you had the gift of good judgement. It should finish there.

Reply 78

dr-jimmy

Original post by siamakdie

If you were both drunk then no. He might of not wanted to sleep with you either. Situations like these piss me off, why do you want to wreck someone elses life just because you made a stupid mistake to get drunk. Did someone rape you into going? Did they rape you into taking a drink? Did he pin you down and rape you?

This ain't even rape, srs. I am all for rapists getting what they deserve, but this sounds like women who make dumb choices blaming other people for their mistakes. This is why i tape everything, so dumb girls don't come bite me in the ass with their double standards of peace.

What the ****? How is that going to stand up in a court of law? 'I didn't rape her and I can prove it- I illegally recorded her!'.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 79

Mankytoes

Original post by danconway

You don't know that, again people making assumptions to fit their bias. She said she "blacked out", which strongly implies she was too drunk to consent, but merely that she was informed he was "drunk". Being drunk does not mean you're unable to consent. You can be drunk, but still in control, and if you have sex with someone who is barely conscious, you have commited rape/sexual assault (as you say, depending on your sex).