Want her to be my gf, but she lives so far away

Anon as she could be on here.

I met this girl when I was at uni, although we were never that close. Now that I have left, I seem to chat to her even more. We go through phases where we don't talk, then have a huge conversation on the phone. Then maybe send a few Snapchats, then go back to the beginning. It's like both people are trying to play a game where they don't want to come across as too needy.

Because of this, I'm finding it hard to escalate anything. I can't pick up any hints or indicators that she's interested through these, because we just stop for ages so we win and aren't the one who gets ignored. One example of this was when we spoke on the phone the other night. The next day we texted a bit but she was out so she said she will text me when she gets home, and then I told her I was going out so I would speak to her the next day. I text her (not drunk text) later that night, but I didn't get a single reply. Then the day later, I get a random Snapchat from her.

But annoyingly, this is close the perfect game a girl can play on me and I am beginning to like her more and more. My city is 5 hours drive from hers and so I tried to invite her here a few times but she's not come....and I don't want to travel there incase there is nothing and I've misread absolutely everything.

What can I do?

How do I go about trying to get her when she lives so far away?

Reply 1

DanielleRia

You probably wont want to hear this but I think she's just using you out of boredom. if she liked you she would make the effort, if she's not then it doesn't seem like she does. You never had a relationship with this girl when you were at uni together and for all you know she could be texting lots of different lads. If two people like each other it shouldn't be this hard. id walk away before you fall too deep.

Reply 2

Med_medine

Original post by DanielleRia

Seconded

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 3

joker12345

Disagree with the above posters, just because you never had anything at uni doesn't mean that you can't now, things change and people can get closer.
Sounds like she's just playing the same game you are, difficult to know how she feels, take the chance and tell her.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by joker12345

Tell her? That doesn't seem clever to me. What if she has no feelings for me. Then everything will just be awkward.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by DanielleRia

Annoyingly, I think you're right. I think I want her to feel more thats why I get extra excited when she speaks, but maybe in reality this is the truth :frown:

Reply 6

joker12345

Original post by Anonymous

Tell her? That doesn't seem clever to me. What if she has no feelings for me. Then everything will just be awkward.

Do you think you'd really miss her friendship so wouldn't want to risk it?

Reply 7

stargirl63

Crank it up a notch and flirt? Are your conversations friendly or more than that? Pay her complements and get her to understand your intentions, then see if she responds.

Reply 8

DanielleRia

When you want something you over romatizise it in your head, and it makes you think that possibly there could be more, I wouldn't suggest telling her unless you are sure she feels the same, she could lead you on then so she doesn't loose you as a friend but never intend to be anymore. Either continue you the friendship and understand that there's a chance it may not ever happen or stop talking to her all together. It's **** but you can carry on wondering what if

Reply 9

MyName??!

Original post by Anonymous

Tell her? That doesn't seem clever to me. What if she has no feelings for me. Then everything will just be awkward.

Aww but if you enjoy her company then youd better hurry before you miss your chance
tell her how you feel and ask for an honest response
That's what I think anyways (:

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Ditch this. Bail out. Forget about it and move on. Let me explain why.

She's obviously not serious about this. She doesn't want a relationship. If she were taking it seriously, she would make her feelings known. But she's just messing around, she's not worth the hassle.

She's too far away. It will not work.

Get out before you it's too late. It may hurt for a while, but you'll get over her eventually. Find someone else, or find something to do to distract yourself.

Reply 11

AL SUPER

What you wrote indicates a normal conversation between two people. I know you’re the one with feelings only cuz you said it. So you’re talking to her while setting your mind completely on how to date her, so you start to think of every thing she do, say etc and that’s not good. cuz simply you’re not being yourself.You assumes she have no one interest only cuz she told you “talk laters when she asked home”Then you tell her that “you will talk to her tomorrow cuz your going out” then you text her same day and expect a response!She surly send you a snap the other day right?Random? so what? at least she did send you something...There’s nothing between you guys yet so what did you expect man?You told her you’ll talk to her tomorrow, so you assume that she fall asleep earlier cuz she’s not expecting any chitchat that night. That simple.Give her excuses and don’t over think anything. It’s enough that you guys live far away. Trust is key.you said it clearly that you have feelings for her no?Then why the hesitation? you’re afraid to get rejected? If so then think of it the other way around.What if she found someone while you’re hesitant?Well you be good without telling her how you feel about her? Without knowing what will her answer be? Without knowing if she also have feelings for you?Be always true to yourself then be totally honest with those whom you love, make sure to express your feelings properly not overly, so that you don’t regret anything.Be a man.