GF's silent treatment warfare when she can't get..............

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I think what's funny is that if the roles were reversed, you'd still be in the wrong.

Exactly what I was thinking. Genders reversed, it'd be all "you can't force her to have sex, stop pressuring her that's really unfair, you're basically emotionally blackmailing her into sex etc"
Plus about the not having showered thing it'd be 'well obviously if you're dirty she won't want sex, you should shower more, no one likes a dirty guy'

dump her

Original post by Rakas21

This wad true at the start of my last relationship and annoyed me no end so after refusing sex for 3 weeks and telling her exactly why, she never defied me again.

Be the man, manipulate the situation to your advantage.

Sorry, what part of your girlfriend not wanting to have sex with you was her 'defying' you?

Reply 23

Rakas21

Original post by Ronove

Sorry, what part of your girlfriend not wanting to have sex with you was her 'defying' you?

We had sex all the time but it was about the dynamic, it was only when she wanted it. When I wanted it she wad busy or just didn't want to.

Hence I went about changing that.

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

Original post by doodle_333

have you made alterations to YOUR behaviour too? relationships are about compromise
how long has this been happening for, she wont keep it up forever

also I do agree that some of your reasons are a little petty, like not having showered, the condoms are fair enough but if you feel you need them then make sure you have them as you're saying no enough because you don't fancy it without creating another load of rejections which could be avoided

Its been this way for the last 3 months (when she moved in)

I don't reject her unnecessarily. Also each time I told her no I always told her what she could do so it could happen, where she hadn't showered I told her to get a shower and we could do it but she huffed, puffed and stormed out. Also have always told her when I told her no as to when we can do it but it doesn't happen because she would be in her silent treatment mode.

Reply 25

doodle_333

Original post by Anonymous

you're not really listening... plenty of people have agreed on this thread that her not having showered isn't that much of a big deal... the thing is, if I tell my boyfriend as a one off that he needs to take a shower before sex he wont care, if I reject him 9 times out of 10 he will probably have a huff about it because it really doesn't look like you're bothered in the slightest about actually having sex with her, you're making it sound like a chore, and okay I understand that right now maybe it FEELS like a chore, but you need to make her feel you want it too or of course she will get upset

you seem to want a solution to stop her behaviour which you don't like but unfortunately as much as her response is ridiculous you are making the situation worse and if you want her behaviour to improve, as I said you need to compromise too

Reply 26

biffa

She obviously got a taste of what it was like to make love regularly and is now disappointed that things have changed. Couple that with your regular rejection and she probably feels unwanted, unattractive and sexually frustrated. Thats a horrible mix.. especially as a hormonal girl. Even though its not commonly discussed.. men are not always the virile sex orientated beings they're made out to be.. things like stress, tiredness and underconfidence can affect libido and desire. Yes you may be tired but are you sure you are not making an excuse? You make it sound as if making love to her is a chore and something you do because you feel you 'have' to.

Giving you the silent treatment isn't necessarily mature but she's probably resorted to this because she feels so bad about this area of your relationship like her said rejected etc. Also the whole telling her to take a shower thing (whether its in the morning or after a sweaty episode in the garden) probably killed the moment for her. Next time she isn't up to your desired cleanliness standard why not jump in the shower together and start proceedings from there.. might be a lot less offensive and a bit more enjoyable that way.

She is trying to initiate a response from you with the silent treatment.. so I'd suggest having a proper chat about it with her.. listen to how she feels and tell her how you feel.