Mental Health Support Society Mk XIV

Hate where I live, wish I could move to another town.

Me and you both, brother.

Hell, I just wish I didn't live with my mother. She really is impossible but it makes a little easier to hold certain facts back from her. Like I'm going up to my university town on Saturday for 2 weeks for resits. On the one hand, it'll be nice to get away from her. On the other, resits. And other stuff. I'm not really allowed to operate like a real adult under her roof.

Is there anything we can do to cheer you up?

thanks for the offer but I don't think so. Just ranting really; it's been 8 years now and things are still troublesome - it's the same pattern over and over. I take meds, the voices quieten then gradually get louder and louder so my psychiatrist increases the dose and the cycle repeats. I'm on two antipsychotics at pretty high doses so there is no longer much room for maneuvering.

I hope you feel better soon. Did the chat last night at least cheer you up a bit?

Yeah it did actually, took my mind off things for a few hours.


How're you doing today?

Good.

Up and down as usual. I don't understand how I can go from one extreme of emotion to the other in such a short space of time. I can be really excited and happy and then all of that is gone in an instant and replaced by the gloominess I am feeling now. It's bad because when I feel good, I get a false sense of security like I don't have any MH issues at all or that they are all gone and then I come crashing back down to reality.

I am usually either really happy or really unhappy and I wish it was a bit more regulated.

Spent most of the day in bed again. When I'm not sleeping I'm listening to the voices being *******s scaring me. I'm fed up of this, I really really am. Seeing my psychiatrist on friday and I already know how things are gonna go down - I'll explain how ****ty I feel, she'll apologize that I feel so bad and will then increase my meds. I know there isn't anything else reasonable she can do but I hate this pattern. Why can't they **** off and stay off?

I think that's quite common with mental health conditions. I know quite a few times in the past I've had the false sense of security you mention but then MH issues come back and I go crashing down again. So yeah, you're not alone with that. Although I'm afraid I don't really know how to help. Have you told this to your doctor?

People like that aren't real friends. You are a lovely person, Socks and you will meet people deserving of your company.





Is there anything we can do to cheer you up?

Thanks everyone here is so nice to me and I don't deserve it :/


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hahah no don't stop! I know! Whenever I'm sending an email to a teacher, i have to refrain from ' xx' and haha nah I'm strictly a black pen person! I don't like much colour either, always looks messy to me!
hahaha I've only ever reversed out of the drive once! It went fine mind...still its a bit dodgy reversing out my drive because I'm right on the corner so you have to be super careful when watching for people walking round and stuff, it's always a bit scary, so usually my mom pulls it off the drive
yes! I'm getting ready to go out as we speak! I'm SO ready for this....i can see it ending in being sick (eeeeh) but it almost seems worth it rn I've had a good week so I'm going out with a bang hahah. I'm calling it 'uni prep'
yeah i can't wait to start uni now! Ooh, my dads job is moving to warwick next year so he might be on campus too and aw, well spend extra time with him now then
ooh i like the perks of being a wallflower! haven't seen it in a while though. Emma watson hnnnnnng, i would! id probably get a ready meal, i can't cook hahah I'm gonna die at uni!
I'm just getting ready to go out but I'm in a super good mood at the moment! I'm hoping tonight will be a good night glad you're feeling well! any plans for tomorrow?

Especially if it's a movie with Jack Black in it

Umm, I dunno really - I kinda feel like I'm losing control of everything and things are falling apart again. Really struggling today
Nothing major though, I'll be fine.

Hope you're doing okay, and that you've had a good day

It brightened up, the sunset was awesome and went for a run. I don't fully on go "race" mode or whatever, I go at my own pace and sometimes to the beat of the song if it fits.
I'm doing okay recently thanks and nooooo I've not made that many plans cause I'm going to my home-town Uni (well...one of them) so I don't need accommodation plans etc haha. I got some pens, a notepad and ambition How are you?

thanks, today's been okay so far thankfully, went to my mums which helped this afternoon

very, hopefully be able to go next year though, they have like a Spring one as well, plus other stuff so isn't the end of the world just a bummer tbh. definitely yeah was good, had a cuppa and some food and caught up with her

hope you feel better soon, you got plans after the summer or?

Sorry had to delete the rest of your replies because I kept getting confused.
The appointment was great. My doctor was like making jokes, funny ones. Like, you have to give your sleep to the sleep god and these new meds will make you cool as a cucumber.
Thank you so much I'm on citalopram and this other one beginning with p. I don't know what it is. I have looked at it, but its a tricky name. Oh its propanol. My boyfriend told me to google it because he remembered the name just now.
don't be sorry, its not your fault!
Thank you, it made me happy. because i feel like theyre giving me a chance. I didn't get on the A level online course as they told me to try a full time course at college. But as my health is getting worse, i feel really uncomfortable and don't feel ready to go out and go to college most days.
Yes, we skype all the time when hes not with me. it'll make me sad seeing him over a computer screen again though. because we've been together all summer.
Chips with salt and vinegar or grounded pepper. Yum yum.
I hope you feel better soon, if you ever feel lonely ill always be here if you want to chat. Have a nice dinner.

I don't know if it quoted but i did reply. I didn't want you to think i was ignoring you or anything. x

Thank you, Phil.
I don't really tell anyone, partly because no one really cares whenever I do open up, no one can find the right words so its a case of me having to handle it. I'm mostly here because thankfully my low-times are very common, but very minor. Just typical teenage sadness is all. I do admit, I have a deep desire to feel loved by someone other than family but that's nothing.

Star Trek is yet another series (?) I've never seen, I need to watch these! Yeah, can be annoying with shops closing, always seems to be when we run out of things too! Charity shops can be good, on the other hand they can be just full of scary old women that seem to think you're just there to steal everything though- need to work out which are which!

Might go and have a look tomorrow anyway and see if there are many people about, not been in ages so could be worth a try Hopefully having to walk all the way round the edge of the (very big!) field will have put some people off.

It is Although I don't really remember much of it, just that it seemed good at the time despite me having to keep asking the others what was going on

Yeah hopefully retakes should sort it, will have to reapply this year although I don't know where, might just apply to the same choices again although that seems a bit of a waste Need to think about that!

I know what you mean! You could just have the parent company but not the annoying bits? Probably a good plan about the escapey bits for when other people are with you though, could be helpful

Mood's been a bit more level today, although a lot more down than up if that makes sense. I need to go see GP but I hate going, and last time I saw this horrible scary one instead who was completely useless so that's kind of out me off even more I'm away next week so will go when I'm back if things haven't improved- probably can't get there before Thursday anyway

Good evening that was, cheers guys

decided I am just gonna flat out ask my GP for a change of meds or to stop them altogether, they aren't helping my mood anymore at all and looking up the side effects online I am now just convinced they are actually just making me other things worse (my vision/balance/vertigo/headaches, all can be ****ing side effects of it so wtf)

I guess all meds will be similar or something but seriously this is just useless, been on max dose of Venlafaxine for nearly two years now and I am pretty sure my mood improving for a while had nothing to do with it now, so just need to stop with them.

found my diazepam as well so gonna take one of them later, my girlfriends brother is visiting and am basically ****ting myself that he won't like me or something :/

also my GP said I could take them everyday and I basically only take them when I am really anxious about something, maybe if I just ask him if I can take them more often and just stop the Venlafaxine? I don't think meds are gonna solve my depression if they all do the same thing as the ones I've had and that anyway.

need to call LIFT as well for my therapy with them, hoping to get that and also my social worker is gonna see about me getting therapy through them which would be someone who would do home visits (which helps cause with my anxiety going out all the way to the hospital they work at would be a nightmare as is like 3 buses!) and they work with people with aspbergers so hopefully would like understand that as well, kinda hoping the two combined might help me anyway.

don't really know why I chose to write this at 6am but hey-ho :/

You too! I am used to getting by on very little sleep (not necessarily well though).

We outlasted everyone else and got up the earliest.

Hey how is everyone? I'm currently on a section 3 in hospital so it's going well :P Best advice I've been given so far is before doing anything to yourself draw up a pros and cons list and be honest with yourself when you write it, I've been finding it kinda helpful so far

Interviews are all about lying through your teeth anyway, pretending to be something you're not. Even when they say "i want you to be honest", it's a trick question imo. You'll be ok

My dad handed me a letter he found for me yesterday - turns out that after I missed last week's CBT, they had rescheduled it for today Thank goodness I saw it in time!

Went for the session and set 3 goals. We're going to discuss therapy options more next week but for the moment it looks like I'll be having 6 weeks of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), with the chance of more sessions afterwards if I feel it is helping

so i find out that I'm the only person in my school to get an A* in psychology :') it seems a small thing to be proud of, and kinda big headed, but it makes me feel good my teacher is being too nice to me!

It's quite common for us to tie certain events to certain songs. A band i listened to when i had a car accident, i can't listen to anymore because it always reminds me of that accident...Thankfully they weren't a fave band of mine

I even associate some memories with certain smells; certain perfumes or cologne, food, etc.

Didn't make it to my appointment again today, oops.

Feel kinda numb to the fact that tomorrow is the last time ill see my brother for another year.
Kinda numb to alot of things at the moment

Spent most of the day in bed again. When I'm not sleeping I'm listening to the voices being *******s scaring me. I'm fed up of this, I really really am. Seeing my psychiatrist on friday and I already know how things are gonna go down - I'll explain how ****ty I feel, she'll apologize that I feel so bad and will then increase my meds. I know there isn't anything else reasonable she can do but I hate this pattern. Why can't they **** off and stay off?

What time were you guys up to?! I went to sleep at 5 and got up at 1pm
Glad your sister helped with food-ness, can understand you staying in bed after being up so late Hope tomorrow's better

No need to apologise for the rant btw! I'm sorry today's been rubbish/still feeling rubbish Perhaps get into pyjamas and watch something for a bit, til you're more sleepy? I think a shower can help you feel sleepy too possibly (?)

Had a fantastic evening yesterday Watched a great film, wrote in diary, and had fun times on chat/with scrabble with MHSS peeps
Today's been more relaxed/slow, but feeling more comfortable with Auntie and people here definitely Not sure what to do tomorrow, might go to cinema or something
Sounds as though they're going to be having early starts/before 10-11ish (my wake up time), so won't be getting breakfast/getting in their way or anything