needy and clingy boyfriend?

i started dating this guy a few months ago and at first everything seemed great, he's a nice guy, no problems, no red flags. ive dated a lot of horrible people in the past (cheated on etc) and spent some time out of relationships to focus on myself, so after all that time i thought by now id be ready again. however im not sure what to make of his behaviour..

at first he wasnt like this, or at least if he was i didnt notice, but its like everything he does is so full on. he constantly says he "missed me" when we are together, rather than just saying it once, so i feel like im repeatedly replying "yes i missed you too". also, when there are silences, instead of just enjoying it and being comfortable, he'll stare at me or I can feel like looking at me, in a sort of "im waiting for you to talk" way.. if that makes sense. also if Im on my phone or doing something, instead of letting me do it, he's always looking over my shoulder or watching me, and will ask "what are you doing?" and i know that might not sound that bad, but doing that repeatedly becomes annoying. its like just give me my space and let me get on with things! (we dont even spend that much time together, once a week or so, so stuff like this annoying me seems wrong?)

he also kinda follows me like a puppy, so im beginning to feel more like a mother to him than a gf... i cook all the food, and when im at his house, as uncomfortable as i feel using peoples kitchens, im pretty much left to have to take my own initiative and make food Ive bought, otherwise he isnt like "right ill make us something"... whereas at my house i make everything for him and I, because he's a guest so why wouldnt i...

i know itll sound ungrateful moaning about someone being nice, but maybe its that hes too nice, hes not being confident or assertive but instead coming across as dependent and pawing at me constantly for attention. instead of just grabbing me and being dominant and initiating a kiss for example, he'll "paw" at me and be like "can i kiss you" "can i get a hug" and its like god damnit man just grow some balls!

also after only 2 months he said "i love you" and i didnt say it back because it was way too soon and i dont think he really meant it, i think it was more of a "i think shes pulling away so i should definitely say this now", because afterwards he even said he doesnt know what youre meant to do in relationships and he thought he should just throw it out there, almost in a "i read in a relationship manual to say i love you after x amount of time" rather than saying it cos he meant it.

a part of me kinda thinks hes maybe a bit autistic.. he acts a bit clueless and lost sometimes and doesnt really pick up on social cues. but it could just be extreme social awkwardness.

if anyone has any advice, other than "break up with him", it would be helpful. i dont want to always be in charge and be the one wearing the trousers, why cant he just "man up" so to speak?


TL;DR boyfriend is clingy and acts a bit dependent, follows me around and never takes control or initiative, is making me feel like his mum, said he loved me 2 months into relationship, we are both in our 20s.

*Wants a nice, attractive guy*

*Finds out he is nice, and wants him to be more assertive and push her around more*

nope, there's a difference between being equal to someone and walking around following them like a puppy. i dont want a "human puppy". i want someone who will walk side by side to me. not ask permission for everything or when making plans leave me to do all the deciding "its up to you" "im not fussed" after years that will get tiresome. no surprises, because im always in charge doing everything.

also i forgot to mention the main big thing, which is he never hears anything you say to him, he doesnt have a hearing issue or anything officially 'wrong' with his hearing, but its pretty frustrating everytime i talk having him say "what?" "huh?" so I have to speak very slowly and loudly, which just seems patronizing. eventually i give up talking because i cant even mumble something to myself like ah its raining today without "what? huh? what did you say?".

yes he is a nice guy and that is amazing cos IMO nice people are rare these days. but theres a difference between nice and smothering, dependent and child-like.