How university students perceive other universities.
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Original post by Okorange
74.4% of Glasgow students thought they were on the same level as Edinburgh
19.6% of Edinburgh students thought they were on the same level as Glasgow
I was pretty surprised by how few Edinburgh students thought they were on the same level as Glasgow.
I think Imperial's ego is a tad big, looks down on UCL which really is an equal.
Although from reading these polls I get the sense that the top 10 universities in the UK (approximate rankings you can move them around as you see fit)
Cambridge, Oxford, Imperial, UCL, LSE, Edinburgh, St Andrews, Durham, Warwick, KCL. Am I right or what?
19.6% of Edinburgh students thought they were on the same level as Glasgow
I was pretty surprised by how few Edinburgh students thought they were on the same level as Glasgow.
I think Imperial's ego is a tad big, looks down on UCL which really is an equal.
Although from reading these polls I get the sense that the top 10 universities in the UK (approximate rankings you can move them around as you see fit)
Cambridge, Oxford, Imperial, UCL, LSE, Edinburgh, St Andrews, Durham, Warwick, KCL. Am I right or what?
Imperial's harder to get into for the majority of the courses it offers and the courses are said to be more rigorous. There's not that much difference between them but still...
Also, you forgot Bristol!
Original post by yl95
Imperial's harder to get into for the majority of the courses it offers and the courses are said to be more rigorous. There's not that much difference between them but still...
Also, you forgot Bristol!
Also, you forgot Bristol!
Bristol is 11th hehe.
Original post by Okorange
Bristol is 11th hehe.
KCL better than Bristol? Hmmmmm....
Original post by yl95
KCL better than Bristol? Hmmmmm....
Like I said you can move them around slightly. 10th vs 11th who's counting?
Original post by Mansun
I think Nottingham is the best of the civic universities, closely followed by Manchester and Birmingham. Notts, after all, is described as a prime alternative to Oxbridge.
Wasn't surprised to see you went to Nottingham.
A lot of people think their uni is the best.
Original post by paradoxicalme
KCL: University College is literally across the road from us. We have similar grade requirements, a similar clientele, and the occasional spat but whatever. We're basically their hip younger sister.
UCL: And we're their much more prestigious big brother.
KCL: Nuh-uh!
UCL: Guardian league tables, we're 11, you're 40. Suck it.
KCL: University College is literally across the road from us. We have similar grade requirements, a similar clientele, and the occasional spat but whatever. We're basically their hip younger sister.
UCL: And we're their much more prestigious big brother.
KCL: Nuh-uh!
UCL: Guardian league tables, we're 11, you're 40. Suck it.
KCL delusions.
If you cross the road from UC, you don't find Kings. That would be Birkbeck or SOAS.
"Literally across the road from Kings" is....South Bank.
Original post by Scott.M
Wasn't surprised to see you went to Nottingham.
A lot of people think their uni is the best.
A lot of people think their uni is the best.
Nottingham comes 11th in the meta ranking (QS, ARWU, TES mean average). Once the main UK media rankings are also added (the Times, Complete University Guide, the Guardian) to the mix, then we can see how good each university really is in a more balanced way overall.
Original post by Mansun
It does concern me a little bit how big universities take students for granted by having so many classes taught by lecture, and little or no tutorials. Only with the latter can you learn and grow into more of a competent thinker. But the resource the larger universities generate means better and newer facilities, and better research labs.
Still, I can't see for the life of me why anyone would choose Lancaster over a RG university.
Still, I can't see for the life of me why anyone would choose Lancaster over a RG university.
Lancaster seems to do so well in league tables - clever people in the marketing dept.
Original post by Scott.M
Wasn't surprised to see you went to Nottingham.
A lot of people think their uni is the best.
A lot of people think their uni is the best.
Having averaged out the Meta World Rankings 2013/2014 (QS, TES, ARWU) and the UK media rankings (the Times 2014, the Complete Uni Guide 2015, the Guardian 2015), the following table is the result:-
1.University of Cambridge
2.University of Oxford
3.Imperial College London
4.London School of Economics and Political Science
5.University College London
6.University of Durham
7.University of Warwick
8.University of York
9.University of Birmingham
10.University of Edinburgh
11.University of Southampton
12.University of Bristol
13.University of Nottingham
14.University of Newcastle
15.University of Sheffield
16.University of Glasgow
17.University of Manchester
18.University of Leeds
19.King’s College London
20.University of Aberdeen
21.Queen Mary – University of London
22.University of Liverpool
Only those universities that made it into the top 200 of the Meta World Rankings are accounted for in the above table, as that is as far as they rank globally. No place for St Andrews, Exeter or Bath in the Meta World top 200 university rankings, so they didn't make the cut for the total averaged table above.
Interesting how well Southampton does, it has a consistently good showing in all tables. Nottingham comes in at 13, not far from the top 10-12 I have always rated them as, nor too far from the UK top 10 tag they claim themselves to be.
No league table is perfect, but the above table was generated from 6 of the most recent and most popular league tables sources for UK and World rankings available. Interesting to see how much it changes next year, maybe slightly, but not too much.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by revrev
Lancaster seems to do so well in league tables - clever people in the marketing dept.
Not in the Global Rankings! Lancaster didn't make the Meta Rankings for the top 200 universities in the World.
(edited 9 years ago)
You have way too much free time...
God bless summer holidays.
God bless summer holidays.
Original post by paradoxicalme
I have made a compilation of conversations between universities that sums this all up.
Aberdeen: We're totes as good as Edinburgh! Yeah!
Edinburgh: Ewww, step away from us, plebs.
Aston: Birmingham is just like us! We're essentially Siamese twins that are joined at certain vital appendages. What do you think, big brother?
Birmingham: GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!!
Bangor: We're like Aberystwyth, except you can actually pronounce us.
Bath: Bristol! I'll take you to the stars, babe.
Bristol: Nah, we can fangirl about books and art with Durham, physics nerd.
Birmingham: Oi! Manc! Look, we've had our differences on the football field, but do you want to join in holy matrimony of slightly jarring regional accents?
Manchester: Meh, maybe.
Bradford: Screw matches, do you see that guy who legitimately thinks we're the same as York? Haha! Haha! Hahahahahaha! Poor shmuck, clearly the banner ads worked on him.
Bristol: Durham! I'm the most oversubscribed uni in the country, I'm drowning in clunge, but nothing makes me happier that your icy isolated form. Love me!
Durham: Oh, Bristol, look at our matched vague sense of Oxbridge reject-ery and annoyingly high grade requirements! I'm yours!
Cambridge: You and me against the world, pal.
Oxford: Word.
Cardiff: ...Bristol? I left three voicemails about getting that coffee on Monday and you still haven't replied...You know, we could talk, I'm very convincing with my jovial Welsh lilt -
Bristol: Nope.
Cardiff: Fine, I'll take Leeds.
Leeds: Nuh-uh.
Cardiff: Manchester?!
Manchester: I'm not being your sloppy thirds!
Cardiff: Ah, well, back to my sheep.
City: Queen Mary, becometh my true sovereign.
Queen Mary: You'll 'becometh' guillotined if you don't get out of my throne room.
Coventry: Somehow we think we're similar to both Derby and Birmingham, which is like saying you're similar to both pecan pie and foie gras. Not that Birmingham is foie gras. Also, we're still revelling in that we inexplicably are placed higher than Bristol.
Durham: Bristol is our soulmate *swoon*
Bristol: Marry me, you lovely freezing bastard.
Edinburgh: We're practically Durham's twin!
Durham: Meh, fair enough. We like Bristol better than you, though.
Exeter: Bristol, are you suuuuure you don't have Saturday night free? I want to get cocktails! It's so BORING up here! So many freaking HILLS!
Bristol: Sorry, doll, I've got a busy work schedule.
Glasgow: Edinburgh! Love me!!!
Edinburgh: Urgh, man, way too regionalistic, man. I'm trying to explore the world, man! Get out of that haggisfest, man.
Goldsmiths: Bristol! Cambridge!
Bristol and Cambridge: Do you hear something? It sounds a bit like a flea, or some annoyingly high-pitched mouse.
Hull: Leeds, are you -
Leeds: WE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER. GO BACK TO YOUR CULTURAL HAVEN, YOU ****.
Imperial: Cambridge, sing with me! We're in the business of misery...
Cambridge: ...let's take it from the top.
Keele: Aston, we think we're just like you. You agree?
Aston: Who even are you?!
Kent: Reading!
Reading: No!
KCL: University College is literally across the road from us. We have similar grade requirements, a similar clientele, and the occasional spat but whatever. We're basically their hip younger sister.
UCL: And we're their much more prestigious big brother.
KCL: Nuh-uh!
UCL: Guardian league tables, we're 11, you're 40. Suck it.
Lancaster: York, I know there's still some, aha, *tensions* between us, but I think we can put aside our differences and work together -
York: KNIFE TO THE FACE! *stab*
Leeds: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: Leeds. Bruv.
Leicester: Birmingham, we are superior to you on all other levels, but I would begrudgingly concede that our universities are about equal.
Birmingham: We're four places higher than you, bitch!
Liverpool: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: If I'm your brother, I was clearly adopted from a much handsomer family.
London Met: That one guy who thinks we're the same as Cambridge is either a masterful troll or studying Waste Management.
LSE: Oxford, we know you've got that weird incestuous cult thing going with Cambridge, but spare us some time?
Oxford: You can have my Saturdays from 1-4, and you're paying for lunch.
LSE: Deal.
Loughborough: Bath, we'd like to Bath-e in you, heh heh heh.
Bath: THE JACUZZI IS NOW CLOSED.
Manchester Met: ...Sheffield?
Sheffield: HAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD I'M DYING
Manchester Met: But, Sheffield! We came all the way over here! We brought muffins!
Sheffield: Security!
Newcastle: Hey, Leeds, you're looking damn good today.
Leeds: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Nottingham: You lookin' fiiiiine, Manchester.
Manchester: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Oxford Brookes: Hey, Leicester, how about it?
Leicester: Much as I'd like to have a 22-year-old toy-boy, I'll pass.
Oxford Brookes: Hey, I was founded as a polytechnic in 1970!
Leicester: It's still gross.
Queen Mary: We are matrimonially tied, King's! Let us build empires!
KCL: Um, I'd rather abdicate.
Reading: Cardiff, you don't have to be alone! I love you!
Cardiff: Eh, think I prefer the sheep.
Royal Holloway: I need a regal partner! Come on, King's, we're practically neighbours and I have some really pretty gardens.
KCL: Nah, go screw Queen Mary.
Queen Mary: I don't want it either.
Sheffield: Manchester, you're looking damn -
Manchester: FOR GOD'S SAKE I'm just TRYING to buy a PANINI look I'm AWARE of my FABULOUS but can I GET THROUGH MY DAY without having any more STREET HARASSMENT PLEASE
Sheffield: - fine?
Manchester: Actually, on second thought, nice tits. I'm sold.
SOAS: Hey LSE, you got a thing for Asians?
LSE: Only in paper boxes.
Southampton: Bristol! Niiice!
Bristol: GODDAMMIT WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
St Andrew's: Hey, Durham! We're both cold and pretentious! Marry me!
Durham: You can be my bit on the side.
St Andrew's: Deal.
Surrey: Lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody, all on my own *mournfully plays banjo*
Sussex: Manchester! Hey! Haven't seen you in so -
Manchester: *threateningly brandishes pepper spray*
UCL: Hey, Imperial. We're neighbours, we're both insanely prestigious and a little bit douchey. Want to hook up?
Imperial: Nah, I'm still trying to get into that cool cult thing Oxbridge has going on. I mean, they're like one entity. It's insane.
UEA: *loud and phlegmy sobbing*
UAL: Hey, Goldsmiths! Want to play some jazz at my contemporary art exhibition? It's a picture of a dead frog and half a rotting lemon surrounded by a thousand ping-pong balls. Really speaks to me, y'know?
Goldsmiths: Sure, but only if I can do that cool mix of blues and ska that's been circulating lately. I call it blueska.
UAL: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Warwick: Durham?
Durham: No.
Warwick: UCL?
Durham: No.
Warwick: LSE?
LSE: No.
Warwick: Christ, it's like being in Clearing.
York: Durham, I hear you're marrying Bristol and keeping St Andrew's as a bit on the side. I can be your casual hookup!
Durham: Nah, I can get my own prostitutes.
Aberdeen: We're totes as good as Edinburgh! Yeah!
Edinburgh: Ewww, step away from us, plebs.
Aston: Birmingham is just like us! We're essentially Siamese twins that are joined at certain vital appendages. What do you think, big brother?
Birmingham: GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!!
Bangor: We're like Aberystwyth, except you can actually pronounce us.
Bath: Bristol! I'll take you to the stars, babe.
Bristol: Nah, we can fangirl about books and art with Durham, physics nerd.
Birmingham: Oi! Manc! Look, we've had our differences on the football field, but do you want to join in holy matrimony of slightly jarring regional accents?
Manchester: Meh, maybe.
Bradford: Screw matches, do you see that guy who legitimately thinks we're the same as York? Haha! Haha! Hahahahahaha! Poor shmuck, clearly the banner ads worked on him.
Bristol: Durham! I'm the most oversubscribed uni in the country, I'm drowning in clunge, but nothing makes me happier that your icy isolated form. Love me!
Durham: Oh, Bristol, look at our matched vague sense of Oxbridge reject-ery and annoyingly high grade requirements! I'm yours!
Cambridge: You and me against the world, pal.
Oxford: Word.
Cardiff: ...Bristol? I left three voicemails about getting that coffee on Monday and you still haven't replied...You know, we could talk, I'm very convincing with my jovial Welsh lilt -
Bristol: Nope.
Cardiff: Fine, I'll take Leeds.
Leeds: Nuh-uh.
Cardiff: Manchester?!
Manchester: I'm not being your sloppy thirds!
Cardiff: Ah, well, back to my sheep.
City: Queen Mary, becometh my true sovereign.
Queen Mary: You'll 'becometh' guillotined if you don't get out of my throne room.
Coventry: Somehow we think we're similar to both Derby and Birmingham, which is like saying you're similar to both pecan pie and foie gras. Not that Birmingham is foie gras. Also, we're still revelling in that we inexplicably are placed higher than Bristol.
Durham: Bristol is our soulmate *swoon*
Bristol: Marry me, you lovely freezing bastard.
Edinburgh: We're practically Durham's twin!
Durham: Meh, fair enough. We like Bristol better than you, though.
Exeter: Bristol, are you suuuuure you don't have Saturday night free? I want to get cocktails! It's so BORING up here! So many freaking HILLS!
Bristol: Sorry, doll, I've got a busy work schedule.
Glasgow: Edinburgh! Love me!!!
Edinburgh: Urgh, man, way too regionalistic, man. I'm trying to explore the world, man! Get out of that haggisfest, man.
Goldsmiths: Bristol! Cambridge!
Bristol and Cambridge: Do you hear something? It sounds a bit like a flea, or some annoyingly high-pitched mouse.
Hull: Leeds, are you -
Leeds: WE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER. GO BACK TO YOUR CULTURAL HAVEN, YOU ****.
Imperial: Cambridge, sing with me! We're in the business of misery...
Cambridge: ...let's take it from the top.
Keele: Aston, we think we're just like you. You agree?
Aston: Who even are you?!
Kent: Reading!
Reading: No!
KCL: University College is literally across the road from us. We have similar grade requirements, a similar clientele, and the occasional spat but whatever. We're basically their hip younger sister.
UCL: And we're their much more prestigious big brother.
KCL: Nuh-uh!
UCL: Guardian league tables, we're 11, you're 40. Suck it.
Lancaster: York, I know there's still some, aha, *tensions* between us, but I think we can put aside our differences and work together -
York: KNIFE TO THE FACE! *stab*
Leeds: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: Leeds. Bruv.
Leicester: Birmingham, we are superior to you on all other levels, but I would begrudgingly concede that our universities are about equal.
Birmingham: We're four places higher than you, bitch!
Liverpool: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: If I'm your brother, I was clearly adopted from a much handsomer family.
London Met: That one guy who thinks we're the same as Cambridge is either a masterful troll or studying Waste Management.
LSE: Oxford, we know you've got that weird incestuous cult thing going with Cambridge, but spare us some time?
Oxford: You can have my Saturdays from 1-4, and you're paying for lunch.
LSE: Deal.
Loughborough: Bath, we'd like to Bath-e in you, heh heh heh.
Bath: THE JACUZZI IS NOW CLOSED.
Manchester Met: ...Sheffield?
Sheffield: HAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD I'M DYING
Manchester Met: But, Sheffield! We came all the way over here! We brought muffins!
Sheffield: Security!
Newcastle: Hey, Leeds, you're looking damn good today.
Leeds: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Nottingham: You lookin' fiiiiine, Manchester.
Manchester: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Oxford Brookes: Hey, Leicester, how about it?
Leicester: Much as I'd like to have a 22-year-old toy-boy, I'll pass.
Oxford Brookes: Hey, I was founded as a polytechnic in 1970!
Leicester: It's still gross.
Queen Mary: We are matrimonially tied, King's! Let us build empires!
KCL: Um, I'd rather abdicate.
Reading: Cardiff, you don't have to be alone! I love you!
Cardiff: Eh, think I prefer the sheep.
Royal Holloway: I need a regal partner! Come on, King's, we're practically neighbours and I have some really pretty gardens.
KCL: Nah, go screw Queen Mary.
Queen Mary: I don't want it either.
Sheffield: Manchester, you're looking damn -
Manchester: FOR GOD'S SAKE I'm just TRYING to buy a PANINI look I'm AWARE of my FABULOUS but can I GET THROUGH MY DAY without having any more STREET HARASSMENT PLEASE
Sheffield: - fine?
Manchester: Actually, on second thought, nice tits. I'm sold.
SOAS: Hey LSE, you got a thing for Asians?
LSE: Only in paper boxes.
Southampton: Bristol! Niiice!
Bristol: GODDAMMIT WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
St Andrew's: Hey, Durham! We're both cold and pretentious! Marry me!
Durham: You can be my bit on the side.
St Andrew's: Deal.
Surrey: Lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody, all on my own *mournfully plays banjo*
Sussex: Manchester! Hey! Haven't seen you in so -
Manchester: *threateningly brandishes pepper spray*
UCL: Hey, Imperial. We're neighbours, we're both insanely prestigious and a little bit douchey. Want to hook up?
Imperial: Nah, I'm still trying to get into that cool cult thing Oxbridge has going on. I mean, they're like one entity. It's insane.
UEA: *loud and phlegmy sobbing*
UAL: Hey, Goldsmiths! Want to play some jazz at my contemporary art exhibition? It's a picture of a dead frog and half a rotting lemon surrounded by a thousand ping-pong balls. Really speaks to me, y'know?
Goldsmiths: Sure, but only if I can do that cool mix of blues and ska that's been circulating lately. I call it blueska.
UAL: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Warwick: Durham?
Durham: No.
Warwick: UCL?
Durham: No.
Warwick: LSE?
LSE: No.
Warwick: Christ, it's like being in Clearing.
York: Durham, I hear you're marrying Bristol and keeping St Andrew's as a bit on the side. I can be your casual hookup!
Durham: Nah, I can get my own prostitutes.
Original post by tianqi
Ranking is just an indication
.....Just choose your course and enjoy! All unis has pros and cons. Of course it is norm that we tend to choose 'high ranking' uni, just to ensure that the course is recognized. At the end, we still have to work smart and hard to earn a good job 
.....Just choose your course and enjoy! All unis has pros and cons. Of course it is norm that we tend to choose 'high ranking' uni, just to ensure that the course is recognized. At the end, we still have to work smart and hard to earn a good job Yes, but using 6 rankings (3 World Rankings, 3 UK Rankings) combined produces a league table which is well balanced. No league table is perfect, but the one I created above does please me on the result. It largely agrees with what I have said all along on TSR for several universities. It does surprise me a little also.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Lord Jon
You have way too much free time...
God bless summer holidays.
God bless summer holidays.
Why did you have to quote all that? Now I have to add you on the ignore list just so as to not see the quote!
It may not be part of the UK, but can I put in a good word for Trinity College Dublin? 1st in Ireland, 18th in Europe, 61st in the World QS rankings. We have a centuries-old campus in the city centre, fees of only €3000 pa, a national holiday which is a Bank holiday and of course, Guinness!
My daughter missed her firm UK university but turned down QMUL to remain in Ireland - TCD is hugely respected in her subject (history).
My daughter missed her firm UK university but turned down QMUL to remain in Ireland - TCD is hugely respected in her subject (history).
Original post by Helen_in_Ireland
It may not be part of the UK, but can I put in a good word for Trinity College Dublin? 1st in Ireland, 18th in Europe, 61st in the World QS rankings. We have a centuries-old campus in the city centre, fees of only €3000 pa, a national holiday which is a Bank holiday and of course, Guinness!
My daughter missed her firm UK university but turned down QMUL to remain in Ireland - TCD is hugely respected in her subject (history).
My daughter missed her firm UK university but turned down QMUL to remain in Ireland - TCD is hugely respected in her subject (history).
Trinity College Dublin is quite well known in the UK, and is reputable. It certainly would be seen as good as any top 20 UK university overall.
Original post by Clip
KCL delusions.
If you cross the road from UC, you don't find Kings. That would be Birkbeck or SOAS.
"Literally across the road from Kings" is....South Bank.
If you cross the road from UC, you don't find Kings. That would be Birkbeck or SOAS.
"Literally across the road from Kings" is....South Bank.
I'm not so sure about UCL, but Birkbeck does sound appropriate. I'll have a good long think about it on our gorgeous Embankment terrace overlooking the Thames.
Original post by paradoxicalme
I have made a compilation of conversations between universities that sums this all up.
Aberdeen: We're totes as good as Edinburgh! Yeah!
Edinburgh: Ewww, step away from us, plebs.
Aston: Birmingham is just like us! We're essentially Siamese twins that are joined at certain vital appendages. What do you think, big brother?
Birmingham: GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!!
Bangor: We're like Aberystwyth, except you can actually pronounce us.
Bath: Bristol! I'll take you to the stars, babe.
Bristol: Nah, we can fangirl about books and art with Durham, physics nerd.
Birmingham: Oi! Manc! Look, we've had our differences on the football field, but do you want to join in holy matrimony of slightly jarring regional accents?
Manchester: Meh, maybe.
Bradford: Screw matches, do you see that guy who legitimately thinks we're the same as York? Haha! Haha! Hahahahahaha! Poor shmuck, clearly the banner ads worked on him.
Bristol: Durham! I'm the most oversubscribed uni in the country, I'm drowning in clunge, but nothing makes me happier that your icy isolated form. Love me!
Durham: Oh, Bristol, look at our matched vague sense of Oxbridge reject-ery and annoyingly high grade requirements! I'm yours!
Cambridge: You and me against the world, pal.
Oxford: Word.
Cardiff: ...Bristol? I left three voicemails about getting that coffee on Monday and you still haven't replied...You know, we could talk, I'm very convincing with my jovial Welsh lilt -
Bristol: Nope.
Cardiff: Fine, I'll take Leeds.
Leeds: Nuh-uh.
Cardiff: Manchester?!
Manchester: I'm not being your sloppy thirds!
Cardiff: Ah, well, back to my sheep.
City: Queen Mary, becometh my true sovereign.
Queen Mary: You'll 'becometh' guillotined if you don't get out of my throne room.
Coventry: Somehow we think we're similar to both Derby and Birmingham, which is like saying you're similar to both pecan pie and foie gras. Not that Birmingham is foie gras. Also, we're still revelling in that we inexplicably are placed higher than Bristol.
Durham: Bristol is our soulmate *swoon*
Bristol: Marry me, you lovely freezing bastard.
Edinburgh: We're practically Durham's twin!
Durham: Meh, fair enough. We like Bristol better than you, though.
Exeter: Bristol, are you suuuuure you don't have Saturday night free? I want to get cocktails! It's so BORING up here! So many freaking HILLS!
Bristol: Sorry, doll, I've got a busy work schedule.
Glasgow: Edinburgh! Love me!!!
Edinburgh: Urgh, man, way too regionalistic, man. I'm trying to explore the world, man! Get out of that haggisfest, man.
Goldsmiths: Bristol! Cambridge!
Bristol and Cambridge: Do you hear something? It sounds a bit like a flea, or some annoyingly high-pitched mouse.
Hull: Leeds, are you -
Leeds: WE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER. GO BACK TO YOUR CULTURAL HAVEN, YOU ****.
Imperial: Cambridge, sing with me! We're in the business of misery...
Cambridge: ...let's take it from the top.
Keele: Aston, we think we're just like you. You agree?
Aston: Who even are you?!
Kent: Reading!
Reading: No!
KCL: University College is literally across the road from us. We have similar grade requirements, a similar clientele, and the occasional spat but whatever. We're basically their hip younger sister.
UCL: And we're their much more prestigious big brother.
KCL: Nuh-uh!
UCL: Guardian league tables, we're 11, you're 40. Suck it.
Lancaster: York, I know there's still some, aha, *tensions* between us, but I think we can put aside our differences and work together -
York: KNIFE TO THE FACE! *stab*
Leeds: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: Leeds. Bruv.
Leicester: Birmingham, we are superior to you on all other levels, but I would begrudgingly concede that our universities are about equal.
Birmingham: We're four places higher than you, bitch!
Liverpool: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: If I'm your brother, I was clearly adopted from a much handsomer family.
London Met: That one guy who thinks we're the same as Cambridge is either a masterful troll or studying Waste Management.
LSE: Oxford, we know you've got that weird incestuous cult thing going with Cambridge, but spare us some time?
Oxford: You can have my Saturdays from 1-4, and you're paying for lunch.
LSE: Deal.
Loughborough: Bath, we'd like to Bath-e in you, heh heh heh.
Bath: THE JACUZZI IS NOW CLOSED.
Manchester Met: ...Sheffield?
Sheffield: HAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD I'M DYING
Manchester Met: But, Sheffield! We came all the way over here! We brought muffins!
Sheffield: Security!
Newcastle: Hey, Leeds, you're looking damn good today.
Leeds: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Nottingham: You lookin' fiiiiine, Manchester.
Manchester: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Oxford Brookes: Hey, Leicester, how about it?
Leicester: Much as I'd like to have a 22-year-old toy-boy, I'll pass.
Oxford Brookes: Hey, I was founded as a polytechnic in 1970!
Leicester: It's still gross.
Queen Mary: We are matrimonially tied, King's! Let us build empires!
KCL: Um, I'd rather abdicate.
Reading: Cardiff, you don't have to be alone! I love you!
Cardiff: Eh, think I prefer the sheep.
Royal Holloway: I need a regal partner! Come on, King's, we're practically neighbours and I have some really pretty gardens.
KCL: Nah, go screw Queen Mary.
Queen Mary: I don't want it either.
Sheffield: Manchester, you're looking damn -
Manchester: FOR GOD'S SAKE I'm just TRYING to buy a PANINI look I'm AWARE of my FABULOUS but can I GET THROUGH MY DAY without having any more STREET HARASSMENT PLEASE
Sheffield: - fine?
Manchester: Actually, on second thought, nice tits. I'm sold.
SOAS: Hey LSE, you got a thing for Asians?
LSE: Only in paper boxes.
Southampton: Bristol! Niiice!
Bristol: GODDAMMIT WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
St Andrew's: Hey, Durham! We're both cold and pretentious! Marry me!
Durham: You can be my bit on the side.
St Andrew's: Deal.
Surrey: Lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody, all on my own *mournfully plays banjo*
Sussex: Manchester! Hey! Haven't seen you in so -
Manchester: *threateningly brandishes pepper spray*
UCL: Hey, Imperial. We're neighbours, we're both insanely prestigious and a little bit douchey. Want to hook up?
Imperial: Nah, I'm still trying to get into that cool cult thing Oxbridge has going on. I mean, they're like one entity. It's insane.
UEA: *loud and phlegmy sobbing*
UAL: Hey, Goldsmiths! Want to play some jazz at my contemporary art exhibition? It's a picture of a dead frog and half a rotting lemon surrounded by a thousand ping-pong balls. Really speaks to me, y'know?
Goldsmiths: Sure, but only if I can do that cool mix of blues and ska that's been circulating lately. I call it blueska.
UAL: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Warwick: Durham?
Durham: No.
Warwick: UCL?
Durham: No.
Warwick: LSE?
LSE: No.
Warwick: Christ, it's like being in Clearing.
York: Durham, I hear you're marrying Bristol and keeping St Andrew's as a bit on the side. I can be your casual hookup!
Durham: Nah, I can get my own prostitutes.
Aberdeen: We're totes as good as Edinburgh! Yeah!
Edinburgh: Ewww, step away from us, plebs.
Aston: Birmingham is just like us! We're essentially Siamese twins that are joined at certain vital appendages. What do you think, big brother?
Birmingham: GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!!
Bangor: We're like Aberystwyth, except you can actually pronounce us.
Bath: Bristol! I'll take you to the stars, babe.
Bristol: Nah, we can fangirl about books and art with Durham, physics nerd.
Birmingham: Oi! Manc! Look, we've had our differences on the football field, but do you want to join in holy matrimony of slightly jarring regional accents?
Manchester: Meh, maybe.
Bradford: Screw matches, do you see that guy who legitimately thinks we're the same as York? Haha! Haha! Hahahahahaha! Poor shmuck, clearly the banner ads worked on him.
Bristol: Durham! I'm the most oversubscribed uni in the country, I'm drowning in clunge, but nothing makes me happier that your icy isolated form. Love me!
Durham: Oh, Bristol, look at our matched vague sense of Oxbridge reject-ery and annoyingly high grade requirements! I'm yours!
Cambridge: You and me against the world, pal.
Oxford: Word.
Cardiff: ...Bristol? I left three voicemails about getting that coffee on Monday and you still haven't replied...You know, we could talk, I'm very convincing with my jovial Welsh lilt -
Bristol: Nope.
Cardiff: Fine, I'll take Leeds.
Leeds: Nuh-uh.
Cardiff: Manchester?!
Manchester: I'm not being your sloppy thirds!
Cardiff: Ah, well, back to my sheep.
City: Queen Mary, becometh my true sovereign.
Queen Mary: You'll 'becometh' guillotined if you don't get out of my throne room.
Coventry: Somehow we think we're similar to both Derby and Birmingham, which is like saying you're similar to both pecan pie and foie gras. Not that Birmingham is foie gras. Also, we're still revelling in that we inexplicably are placed higher than Bristol.
Durham: Bristol is our soulmate *swoon*
Bristol: Marry me, you lovely freezing bastard.
Edinburgh: We're practically Durham's twin!
Durham: Meh, fair enough. We like Bristol better than you, though.
Exeter: Bristol, are you suuuuure you don't have Saturday night free? I want to get cocktails! It's so BORING up here! So many freaking HILLS!
Bristol: Sorry, doll, I've got a busy work schedule.
Glasgow: Edinburgh! Love me!!!
Edinburgh: Urgh, man, way too regionalistic, man. I'm trying to explore the world, man! Get out of that haggisfest, man.
Goldsmiths: Bristol! Cambridge!
Bristol and Cambridge: Do you hear something? It sounds a bit like a flea, or some annoyingly high-pitched mouse.
Hull: Leeds, are you -
Leeds: WE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER. GO BACK TO YOUR CULTURAL HAVEN, YOU ****.
Imperial: Cambridge, sing with me! We're in the business of misery...
Cambridge: ...let's take it from the top.
Keele: Aston, we think we're just like you. You agree?
Aston: Who even are you?!
Kent: Reading!
Reading: No!
KCL: University College is literally across the road from us. We have similar grade requirements, a similar clientele, and the occasional spat but whatever. We're basically their hip younger sister.
UCL: And we're their much more prestigious big brother.
KCL: Nuh-uh!
UCL: Guardian league tables, we're 11, you're 40. Suck it.
Lancaster: York, I know there's still some, aha, *tensions* between us, but I think we can put aside our differences and work together -
York: KNIFE TO THE FACE! *stab*
Leeds: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: Leeds. Bruv.
Leicester: Birmingham, we are superior to you on all other levels, but I would begrudgingly concede that our universities are about equal.
Birmingham: We're four places higher than you, bitch!
Liverpool: Manc. Bruv.
Manchester: If I'm your brother, I was clearly adopted from a much handsomer family.
London Met: That one guy who thinks we're the same as Cambridge is either a masterful troll or studying Waste Management.
LSE: Oxford, we know you've got that weird incestuous cult thing going with Cambridge, but spare us some time?
Oxford: You can have my Saturdays from 1-4, and you're paying for lunch.
LSE: Deal.
Loughborough: Bath, we'd like to Bath-e in you, heh heh heh.
Bath: THE JACUZZI IS NOW CLOSED.
Manchester Met: ...Sheffield?
Sheffield: HAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD I'M DYING
Manchester Met: But, Sheffield! We came all the way over here! We brought muffins!
Sheffield: Security!
Newcastle: Hey, Leeds, you're looking damn good today.
Leeds: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Nottingham: You lookin' fiiiiine, Manchester.
Manchester: GODSAKE WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
Oxford Brookes: Hey, Leicester, how about it?
Leicester: Much as I'd like to have a 22-year-old toy-boy, I'll pass.
Oxford Brookes: Hey, I was founded as a polytechnic in 1970!
Leicester: It's still gross.
Queen Mary: We are matrimonially tied, King's! Let us build empires!
KCL: Um, I'd rather abdicate.
Reading: Cardiff, you don't have to be alone! I love you!
Cardiff: Eh, think I prefer the sheep.
Royal Holloway: I need a regal partner! Come on, King's, we're practically neighbours and I have some really pretty gardens.
KCL: Nah, go screw Queen Mary.
Queen Mary: I don't want it either.
Sheffield: Manchester, you're looking damn -
Manchester: FOR GOD'S SAKE I'm just TRYING to buy a PANINI look I'm AWARE of my FABULOUS but can I GET THROUGH MY DAY without having any more STREET HARASSMENT PLEASE
Sheffield: - fine?
Manchester: Actually, on second thought, nice tits. I'm sold.
SOAS: Hey LSE, you got a thing for Asians?
LSE: Only in paper boxes.
Southampton: Bristol! Niiice!
Bristol: GODDAMMIT WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME
St Andrew's: Hey, Durham! We're both cold and pretentious! Marry me!
Durham: You can be my bit on the side.
St Andrew's: Deal.
Surrey: Lonely, I am so lonely, I have nobody, all on my own *mournfully plays banjo*
Sussex: Manchester! Hey! Haven't seen you in so -
Manchester: *threateningly brandishes pepper spray*
UCL: Hey, Imperial. We're neighbours, we're both insanely prestigious and a little bit douchey. Want to hook up?
Imperial: Nah, I'm still trying to get into that cool cult thing Oxbridge has going on. I mean, they're like one entity. It's insane.
UEA: *loud and phlegmy sobbing*
UAL: Hey, Goldsmiths! Want to play some jazz at my contemporary art exhibition? It's a picture of a dead frog and half a rotting lemon surrounded by a thousand ping-pong balls. Really speaks to me, y'know?
Goldsmiths: Sure, but only if I can do that cool mix of blues and ska that's been circulating lately. I call it blueska.
UAL: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Warwick: Durham?
Durham: No.
Warwick: UCL?
Durham: No.
Warwick: LSE?
LSE: No.
Warwick: Christ, it's like being in Clearing.
York: Durham, I hear you're marrying Bristol and keeping St Andrew's as a bit on the side. I can be your casual hookup!
Durham: Nah, I can get my own prostitutes.
+rep
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