Have at ye! Another installation of the popular Is it? Yes, that's almost fitness Chronicle.
Workout A
Squats 5x5 62.5kg Increase of 2.5kg
Bench press 5x5 40kg Increase of 2.5kg
Bent over row 5x5 45kg Increase of 2.5kg
Barbell shrugs 3x8 50kg Increase of 5kg
Tricep extensions 3x8 35kg Increase of 2.5kg
Straight bar 3x11 20kg FAIL
Cable crunches 3x11 65g Increase of 1.5kg and 1 rep per set
Ok so I didn't manage to stay angry for the whole day. So when I faced my reflection in the power cage, I stared myself down. I had to get pumped. Other people stared at me as well. They must have known I was trying to get pumped. With the combined energy of the gym channelled into my thighs I squatted 62.5kg for 5 sets. I mind-fived the bros, and it was at that time I realised lifting's a team sport. Off to a good start.
Bench press was difficult. I got through 3 sets and started to think I wasn't going to make it through all 5. Started wondering if I should ask someone to spot me. Then I realised something incredible. I could do press ups, right? But what are pressups??? World bench presses! Hell yeah. 40kg is like, less than 1/5 of the world. After that it was easy.
Bent over row. Part of the reason this exercise is so great is that it tests your mind as well as your body. It does this by placing you in a position of acute sexual vulnerability. At 45kg the bar was a force to be reckoned with. And what do you do when you're at a bar? You pull. And that's what I did, and continued to do, until I had pulled 25 times (something to emulate next friday night).
Barbell shrugs. This exercise has been like a dark horse. Hiding in the shadows until the race gets going, only to leap out straight into 3rd place, to the delight and beguilement of punters everywhere. I always bet on myself, since that way not only do I win, but I get rich too. That's how I pay for my gym membership. As my new 3rd-heaviest lift, I'm enjoying shrugging with increasingly feigned indifference. I've spent my whole life shrugging things off, so it really is no surprise for it to turn out this way. But at 50kg it's hard to keep a straight face, so when I bare my teeth and scrunch up my eyes, I make sure to do it as indifferently as possible.
Tricep extensions at 35kg. I interspersed sets sitting on the floor stretching the inside of my thighs. The sets themselves were good and 35kg was just the right amount to manage.
Straight bar. My nemesis. The first set felt easy and lulled me into a false sense of security. In the never-ending struggle between me and the bar, the bar is learning ways to fight me on more equal footing. Second set was very challenging. Third set - impossible! Failed on my 7th rep. You win this time, but know this: Run, hide, resist all you can, straight bar - it's only a matter of time until your day is due, because I will conquer you, straight bar!
Cable crunches. At 65kg this is 95% of my bodyweight. It was a tough nut to crack, but crack it I did. Nuts, berries, you name it - I can crush them all with my abs of steel.
Alright, need to eat a heap of calories now. Next workout on Thursday. Rest hard to train hard! Peace out!