miser lifts a weight off his shoulders
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Have at ye! Another installation of the popular Is it? Yes, that's almost fitness Chronicle.
Ok so I didn't manage to stay angry for the whole day. So when I faced my reflection in the power cage, I stared myself down. I had to get pumped. Other people stared at me as well. They must have known I was trying to get pumped. With the combined energy of the gym channelled into my thighs I squatted 62.5kg for 5 sets. I mind-fived the bros, and it was at that time I realised lifting's a team sport. Off to a good start.
Bench press was difficult. I got through 3 sets and started to think I wasn't going to make it through all 5. Started wondering if I should ask someone to spot me. Then I realised something incredible. I could do press ups, right? But what are pressups??? World bench presses! Hell yeah. 40kg is like, less than 1/5 of the world. After that it was easy.
Bent over row. Part of the reason this exercise is so great is that it tests your mind as well as your body. It does this by placing you in a position of acute sexual vulnerability. At 45kg the bar was a force to be reckoned with. And what do you do when you're at a bar? You pull. And that's what I did, and continued to do, until I had pulled 25 times (something to emulate next friday night).
Barbell shrugs. This exercise has been like a dark horse. Hiding in the shadows until the race gets going, only to leap out straight into 3rd place, to the delight and beguilement of punters everywhere. I always bet on myself, since that way not only do I win, but I get rich too. That's how I pay for my gym membership. As my new 3rd-heaviest lift, I'm enjoying shrugging with increasingly feigned indifference. I've spent my whole life shrugging things off, so it really is no surprise for it to turn out this way. But at 50kg it's hard to keep a straight face, so when I bare my teeth and scrunch up my eyes, I make sure to do it as indifferently as possible.
Tricep extensions at 35kg. I interspersed sets sitting on the floor stretching the inside of my thighs. The sets themselves were good and 35kg was just the right amount to manage.
Straight bar. My nemesis. The first set felt easy and lulled me into a false sense of security. In the never-ending struggle between me and the bar, the bar is learning ways to fight me on more equal footing. Second set was very challenging. Third set - impossible! Failed on my 7th rep. You win this time, but know this: Run, hide, resist all you can, straight bar - it's only a matter of time until your day is due, because I will conquer you, straight bar!
Cable crunches. At 65kg this is 95% of my bodyweight. It was a tough nut to crack, but crack it I did. Nuts, berries, you name it - I can crush them all with my abs of steel.
Alright, need to eat a heap of calories now. Next workout on Thursday. Rest hard to train hard! Peace out!
Workout A
Squats 5x5 62.5kg Increase of 2.5kg
Bench press 5x5 40kg Increase of 2.5kg
Bent over row 5x5 45kg Increase of 2.5kg
Barbell shrugs 3x8 50kg Increase of 5kg
Tricep extensions 3x8 35kg Increase of 2.5kg
Straight bar 3x11 20kg FAIL
Cable crunches 3x11 65g Increase of 1.5kg and 1 rep per setOk so I didn't manage to stay angry for the whole day. So when I faced my reflection in the power cage, I stared myself down. I had to get pumped. Other people stared at me as well. They must have known I was trying to get pumped. With the combined energy of the gym channelled into my thighs I squatted 62.5kg for 5 sets. I mind-fived the bros, and it was at that time I realised lifting's a team sport. Off to a good start.
Bench press was difficult. I got through 3 sets and started to think I wasn't going to make it through all 5. Started wondering if I should ask someone to spot me. Then I realised something incredible. I could do press ups, right? But what are pressups??? World bench presses! Hell yeah. 40kg is like, less than 1/5 of the world. After that it was easy.
Bent over row. Part of the reason this exercise is so great is that it tests your mind as well as your body. It does this by placing you in a position of acute sexual vulnerability. At 45kg the bar was a force to be reckoned with. And what do you do when you're at a bar? You pull. And that's what I did, and continued to do, until I had pulled 25 times (something to emulate next friday night).
Barbell shrugs. This exercise has been like a dark horse. Hiding in the shadows until the race gets going, only to leap out straight into 3rd place, to the delight and beguilement of punters everywhere. I always bet on myself, since that way not only do I win, but I get rich too. That's how I pay for my gym membership. As my new 3rd-heaviest lift, I'm enjoying shrugging with increasingly feigned indifference. I've spent my whole life shrugging things off, so it really is no surprise for it to turn out this way. But at 50kg it's hard to keep a straight face, so when I bare my teeth and scrunch up my eyes, I make sure to do it as indifferently as possible.
Tricep extensions at 35kg. I interspersed sets sitting on the floor stretching the inside of my thighs. The sets themselves were good and 35kg was just the right amount to manage.
Straight bar. My nemesis. The first set felt easy and lulled me into a false sense of security. In the never-ending struggle between me and the bar, the bar is learning ways to fight me on more equal footing. Second set was very challenging. Third set - impossible! Failed on my 7th rep. You win this time, but know this: Run, hide, resist all you can, straight bar - it's only a matter of time until your day is due, because I will conquer you, straight bar!
Cable crunches. At 65kg this is 95% of my bodyweight. It was a tough nut to crack, but crack it I did. Nuts, berries, you name it - I can crush them all with my abs of steel.
Alright, need to eat a heap of calories now. Next workout on Thursday. Rest hard to train hard! Peace out!
(edited 9 years ago)
Brilliant analysis mate :P
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Original post by Reps4Jesus
Thanks. Kind words like yours are what keep me going. They're what fuel me when I'm up before sunrise only to find I'm out of granola. They push me out the house even when it looks a little cloudy and might start spitting at some point. When I'm on the train and realise I've forgotten my gym bag - it becomes crisis point. We've all been there, but not all of us make it through. But I can, because I have what others don't: well-wishers on my internet blog.
So thanks!
Great username btw. Stop by any time.
Original post by miser
Thanks. Kind words like yours are what keep me going. They're what fuel me when I'm up before sunrise only to find I'm out of granola. They push me out the house even when it looks a little cloudy and might start spitting at some point. When I'm on the train and realise I've forgotten my gym bag - it becomes crisis point. We've all been there, but not all of us make it through. But I can, because I have what others don't: well-wishers on my internet blog.
So thanks!
Great username btw. Stop by any time.
So thanks!
Great username btw. Stop by any time.
No probs :P
Check my blog out too if you want
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Original post by Reps4Jesus
Will do.
Slugs everywhere this morning. Snails too. Was trying not to step on any because I thought that if I were a slug, my day would be bad enough already without someone stepping on me. Snails too, which are kind of like posh slugs. I like to think of them as slug home-owners. The prospect of stepping on someone’s home wasn’t appealing either, so I did an awkward walk, staring at the floor all the way to the train station.
I’m in a good mood today. I have tomorrow off work and I’m going to London for the weekend. Because of this there’s a possibility I won’t make it to the gym on Sunday. I don’t like the sound of that, so I’ll see if I can squeeze it in after I get back Sunday evening. After all, 90% of success is just showing up. The other 10% is doing bicep curls. (I’m joking – don’t do too many bicep curls.)
Gym later today. Rockin'.
P.S. I got on a roll writing this minimal blog update so I added it on my (new) proper blog. The post is about having the balls to do what you want in life. Check it out if you want an additional motivational kick.
I’m in a good mood today. I have tomorrow off work and I’m going to London for the weekend. Because of this there’s a possibility I won’t make it to the gym on Sunday. I don’t like the sound of that, so I’ll see if I can squeeze it in after I get back Sunday evening. After all, 90% of success is just showing up. The other 10% is doing bicep curls. (I’m joking – don’t do too many bicep curls.)
Gym later today. Rockin'.
P.S. I got on a roll writing this minimal blog update so I added it on my (new) proper blog. The post is about having the balls to do what you want in life. Check it out if you want an additional motivational kick.
Original post by miser
Slugs everywhere this morning. Snails too. Was trying not to step on any because I thought that if I were a slug, my day would be bad enough already without someone stepping on me. Snails too, which are kind of like posh slugs. I like to think of them as slug home-owners. The prospect of stepping on someone’s home wasn’t appealing either, so I did an awkward walk, staring at the floor all the way to the train station.
I’m in a good mood today. I have tomorrow off work and I’m going to London for the weekend. Because of this there’s a possibility I won’t make it to the gym on Sunday. I don’t like the sound of that, so I’ll see if I can squeeze it in after I get back Sunday evening. After all, 90% of success is just showing up. The other 10% is doing bicep curls. (I’m joking – don’t do too many bicep curls.)
Gym later today. Rockin'.
P.S. I got on a roll writing this minimal blog update so I added it on my (new) proper blog. The post is about having the balls to do what you want in life. Check it out if you want an additional motivational kick.
I’m in a good mood today. I have tomorrow off work and I’m going to London for the weekend. Because of this there’s a possibility I won’t make it to the gym on Sunday. I don’t like the sound of that, so I’ll see if I can squeeze it in after I get back Sunday evening. After all, 90% of success is just showing up. The other 10% is doing bicep curls. (I’m joking – don’t do too many bicep curls.)
Gym later today. Rockin'.
P.S. I got on a roll writing this minimal blog update so I added it on my (new) proper blog. The post is about having the balls to do what you want in life. Check it out if you want an additional motivational kick.
Mate, your updates are the highlight of my mid-afternoon toilet break.
Shall meet you tomorrow!
I'll be the short one with a fat neck.
Can introduce you to Rlw31, a female who squats double what you do.
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I'll be the short one with a fat neck.
Can introduce you to Rlw31, a female who squats double what you do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Appeal to reason
Mate, your updates are the highlight of my mid-afternoon toilet break.
Thanks. It means a lot to me that you take time out of your mid-afternoon toilet break to read my fitness blog. And I really do mean that. Now when I have to push for that final rep, I can remind myself that people will be on the toilet tomorrow, paper in one hand, my blog in the other, giving their all to push, so the least I can do is to push as well.
Original post by Motorbiker
Shall meet you tomorrow!
I'll be the short one with a fat neck.
Can introduce you to Rlw31, a female who squats double what you do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'll be the short one with a fat neck.
Can introduce you to Rlw31, a female who squats double what you do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I've already seen you on cam. You know, the videos with the other muscley men and you grunt a lot. Good videos btw. So I should recognise you.
Were you at the HQ opening party in April 2013?
Ah yeah, I look forward to meeting her. Squatting double what I do is like taking me, cloning me, then squatting whilst giving me and the clone a double-piggyback. Which is a roundabout way of saying it sounds a lot more fun than what I can lift.
They see me rollin'. They lovin'.
Squats were a milestone for me. 67.5kg is my bodyweight. I've done it! I've crossed the boundary of the sub-bodyweight zone and reached new heights. Or should that be lows. Highs and lows - a good squat needs both. It's only a matter of time before I can squat the bodyweight of people marginally larger than myself. But if I train hard enough, maybe I could reach that most sought-after of weightlifting goals and be able to squat the weight of an obese person, several times heavier than me. What an achievement.
The only thing to add is that, amazing as they've become, they're a pile of balls. I squat down low, my knees quiver, my back rounds as my back muscles try to compensate for the weight my quads can't carry. It's a shambles. What use is squatting your own weight in iron if you can't do it like a boss? I'm more like a low-level employee of some sort. I guess I should deload back to about 60 and get strict on my form.
Deadlifts. Pow! I'm happy with my form now. It took a couple of weeks but I've practised it, and not only do I feel comfortable doing the lift now, I don't get DOMS. I'll start upping the weights now and push myself.
Standing press. I'll tell you what - they don't call it military press for nothing. I felt like my guns were gonna explode all over the place. Luckily I calmed myself down by reminding myself it was a civilian area. Now, I've been apprehensive about adding weight to this. My reservation is equal parts (1) not wanting to add faster than my body can cope with and (2) being a delicate flowering pansy. Next session it will be 27.5kg. I did my 5x6, same as last time, but also managed an additional 2 reps at the end. Not sure how well I'll do on 27.5 but if I eat more granola maybe that will help a bit.
Bent over row. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Bent over row always gives me gains. I love bent over row. Like my boat's somehow been hurled into the ground and I just want to get home so I keep rowing anyway. I don't know what's going through my head but somehow I always have it in me to row. If only boats did require 25 rows, then maybe I could be bothered with them. Nah, probably not.
Straight bar. My nemesis. Don't know what in the world is going on but I failed even HARDER than before. This time I only managed 7 reps into my 2nd set! Fortunately I'm trying to treat this as a spiritual journey, and hurling the barbell into the ceiling amidst a fray of bewildered bodybuilders isn't part of that journey.
CGBP. Sweet, I'm getting back to where I was before. After last workout B's catastrophic failure this time it went okay. I managed two sets of 8, then failed right before my final rep. But my form is much improved from before, as previously I didn't realise I had to keep my elbows in. Keeping my elbows from flaring is probably what caused my setback. Maybe. But I made gains this week so I'm grateful to the gym spirits for bestowing upon me this gift.
Straight bar continued!! You didn't think I'd give up that easy, did you? Two more sets of 11! The bar hated it and resisted every inch. That's when I really went off the handle. "Use metric, bitch!" I screamed as I lifted until the gym was awash with cries for me to go home and stop making them feel so uncomfortable. As an aside, I can see my left shoulder moving. Will try to make it more stationary over time as my strength increases.
Cable crunches. I kept 65kg and increased to 11 reps per set. No problem. I am the ab master. I put the ab in abc. On every rep I just think about my 6 pack waiting for me, and how nice it'll be to finally get home and crack open one of the cans.
Ran to the station after I was finished to avoid having to wait 30 minutes for the next train. This meant running pretty quickly with my backpack on for about a mile. I like running after the gym because my legs feel like jelly and jelly's great.
I'm enjoying the gym still. Weights give a very uplifting feeling. You know, in a literal sense. That's probably where the word comes from. Not to mention that squats are all about rising out of a state of depression. Very good for the mind. But most of all, going to the gym gives me an excuse to write a fitness blog - you know, something to tell your grandkids about one day.
Workout B
Squats 5x5 67.5kg Increase of 2.5kg
Deadlift 1x5 60kg No increase
Standing press 5x6 25kg Increase of 2 reps
Bent over row 5x5 40kg Increase of 2.5kg
Close grip bench press 3x8 32.5kg Increase of a few reps
Straight bar 3x11 20kg Mixed
Cable crunches 3x11 65kg Increase of 1 rep per setSquats were a milestone for me. 67.5kg is my bodyweight. I've done it! I've crossed the boundary of the sub-bodyweight zone and reached new heights. Or should that be lows. Highs and lows - a good squat needs both. It's only a matter of time before I can squat the bodyweight of people marginally larger than myself. But if I train hard enough, maybe I could reach that most sought-after of weightlifting goals and be able to squat the weight of an obese person, several times heavier than me. What an achievement.
The only thing to add is that, amazing as they've become, they're a pile of balls. I squat down low, my knees quiver, my back rounds as my back muscles try to compensate for the weight my quads can't carry. It's a shambles. What use is squatting your own weight in iron if you can't do it like a boss? I'm more like a low-level employee of some sort. I guess I should deload back to about 60 and get strict on my form.
Deadlifts. Pow! I'm happy with my form now. It took a couple of weeks but I've practised it, and not only do I feel comfortable doing the lift now, I don't get DOMS. I'll start upping the weights now and push myself.
Standing press. I'll tell you what - they don't call it military press for nothing. I felt like my guns were gonna explode all over the place. Luckily I calmed myself down by reminding myself it was a civilian area. Now, I've been apprehensive about adding weight to this. My reservation is equal parts (1) not wanting to add faster than my body can cope with and (2) being a delicate flowering pansy. Next session it will be 27.5kg. I did my 5x6, same as last time, but also managed an additional 2 reps at the end. Not sure how well I'll do on 27.5 but if I eat more granola maybe that will help a bit.
Bent over row. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Bent over row always gives me gains. I love bent over row. Like my boat's somehow been hurled into the ground and I just want to get home so I keep rowing anyway. I don't know what's going through my head but somehow I always have it in me to row. If only boats did require 25 rows, then maybe I could be bothered with them. Nah, probably not.
Straight bar. My nemesis. Don't know what in the world is going on but I failed even HARDER than before. This time I only managed 7 reps into my 2nd set! Fortunately I'm trying to treat this as a spiritual journey, and hurling the barbell into the ceiling amidst a fray of bewildered bodybuilders isn't part of that journey.
CGBP. Sweet, I'm getting back to where I was before. After last workout B's catastrophic failure this time it went okay. I managed two sets of 8, then failed right before my final rep. But my form is much improved from before, as previously I didn't realise I had to keep my elbows in. Keeping my elbows from flaring is probably what caused my setback. Maybe. But I made gains this week so I'm grateful to the gym spirits for bestowing upon me this gift.
Straight bar continued!! You didn't think I'd give up that easy, did you? Two more sets of 11! The bar hated it and resisted every inch. That's when I really went off the handle. "Use metric, bitch!" I screamed as I lifted until the gym was awash with cries for me to go home and stop making them feel so uncomfortable. As an aside, I can see my left shoulder moving. Will try to make it more stationary over time as my strength increases.
Cable crunches. I kept 65kg and increased to 11 reps per set. No problem. I am the ab master. I put the ab in abc. On every rep I just think about my 6 pack waiting for me, and how nice it'll be to finally get home and crack open one of the cans.
Ran to the station after I was finished to avoid having to wait 30 minutes for the next train. This meant running pretty quickly with my backpack on for about a mile. I like running after the gym because my legs feel like jelly and jelly's great.
I'm enjoying the gym still. Weights give a very uplifting feeling. You know, in a literal sense. That's probably where the word comes from. Not to mention that squats are all about rising out of a state of depression. Very good for the mind. But most of all, going to the gym gives me an excuse to write a fitness blog - you know, something to tell your grandkids about one day.
(edited 9 years ago)
You're already my favourite blogger 
hahaha
Nice squat lad
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hahahaNice squat lad
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Get me a squat video and I'll help. We
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It seems weird to me that your squat is more than your deadlift. Is that because you were deliberately holding off on increasing deadlift to work on your form, or you just really like squatting?
Original post by Forum User
It seems weird to me that your squat is more than your deadlift. Is that because you were deliberately holding off on increasing deadlift to work on your form, or you just really like squatting?
It was to work on my form and to let my muscles get used to it. With squats I could start with a low weight and amp it up gradually, but with deadlift I had to start at 60kg and do that for a while before I was happy with the technique and that it wasn't as harsh on my back. Because I'm doing squats twice as often as deadlifts, my squats progressed more quickly.
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
Was really tired getting into the gym today. I wasn't feeling particularly pumped either. My weekend was full of drinking and extravagence, riding a party boat and watching infomercials, so it is no surprise really. But it doesn't matter how you're feeling, what matters is that you give it your 100%! And that's what I did. Pow!
Squats. Reduced to 60kg again to see whether I was capable of doing it with proper form. I could just about manage it, so I kept it at that weight level for the rest of my sets. Towards the last couple of sets it got difficult and my form started to become compromised - I could feel myself bending forwards and not keeping the weight over my heels. My squats were for the most part nice and low though, which I'm pleased about. I celebrated by winking at myself in the mirror and instantly I felt like the sexiest person in the gym.
Bench press. I increased to 42.5kg and did my first set. What a struggle! I could barely manage one set, let alone 5, so I decreased it back to 40kg for the rest of the sets. These were also very tough, and I could feel my body trying to wriggle to the right to somehow alleviate some pressure from my left arm. How ugly! I will pay attention to this because, god damnit, what's the point of bench press if doesn't rival the beauty and grace of the falling autumn leaves?
Bent over row. I started at 47.5kg, an increase of 2.5kg from last time. Then failed miserably to lift with any form whatsoever. I reduced the weight to 45kg and suddenly I could cope again. My form started to get crappy towards the end but no one was watching so it didn't matter.
Barbell shrugs. Increased by 2.5kg. This was really hard work actually - I had trouble gripping the bar for the first time. My right hand would get tired midway through each set and I had to really focus to avoid dropping the barbell. Also I've noticed that my shoulders apparently do not lift symmetrically. Not really sure why or how much that matters. I'm wondering if grip strength is going to become a bottleneck to my improvements with this exercise. Maybe liquid chalk will help. And ****ing.
Tricep extensions. I kept it at 35kg and pushed hard. I managed it just about and it felt just right, emitting a few powerful howls to help me through.
Straight bar. My nemesis. I picked up the bar and felt the energy pulsating through my body. Every fibre of my being wanted to beat that bar. I wanted to win. I wanted glory. I would settle only for victory. So slowly I began lifting. One set was complete and I could feel I still had more in me. The next set was a struggle, but through sheer mental strength I made it to the end. I needed my rest now, ready for the final confrontation. And then I began, lifting once, then lifting again, and again, until all I could think and feel was the bitter will of the bar to stay down, but overcome its will I did, until the bar wanted to stay down so much that I could hardly force it not to, but somehow I lifted for the final rep. Back to 3x11!
Cable crunches. I kept the same weight and increased it by one rep per set. This pushed me to the brink. But given all the hip hop I watched over the weekend, thankfully my abs were up to the challenge.
Next workout Thursday. Peace out.
Workout A
Squats 5x5 60kg Reduced to work on form
Bench press 5x5 40kg No increase
Bent over row 5x5 45kg No increase
Barbell shrugs 3x8 52.5kg Increase of 2.5kg
Tricep extensions 3x8 35kg No increase
Straight bar 3x11 20kg Increase to 3x11
Cable crunches 3x12 65g Increase of 1 rep per setWas really tired getting into the gym today. I wasn't feeling particularly pumped either. My weekend was full of drinking and extravagence, riding a party boat and watching infomercials, so it is no surprise really. But it doesn't matter how you're feeling, what matters is that you give it your 100%! And that's what I did. Pow!
Squats. Reduced to 60kg again to see whether I was capable of doing it with proper form. I could just about manage it, so I kept it at that weight level for the rest of my sets. Towards the last couple of sets it got difficult and my form started to become compromised - I could feel myself bending forwards and not keeping the weight over my heels. My squats were for the most part nice and low though, which I'm pleased about. I celebrated by winking at myself in the mirror and instantly I felt like the sexiest person in the gym.
Bench press. I increased to 42.5kg and did my first set. What a struggle! I could barely manage one set, let alone 5, so I decreased it back to 40kg for the rest of the sets. These were also very tough, and I could feel my body trying to wriggle to the right to somehow alleviate some pressure from my left arm. How ugly! I will pay attention to this because, god damnit, what's the point of bench press if doesn't rival the beauty and grace of the falling autumn leaves?
Bent over row. I started at 47.5kg, an increase of 2.5kg from last time. Then failed miserably to lift with any form whatsoever. I reduced the weight to 45kg and suddenly I could cope again. My form started to get crappy towards the end but no one was watching so it didn't matter.
Barbell shrugs. Increased by 2.5kg. This was really hard work actually - I had trouble gripping the bar for the first time. My right hand would get tired midway through each set and I had to really focus to avoid dropping the barbell. Also I've noticed that my shoulders apparently do not lift symmetrically. Not really sure why or how much that matters. I'm wondering if grip strength is going to become a bottleneck to my improvements with this exercise. Maybe liquid chalk will help. And ****ing.
Tricep extensions. I kept it at 35kg and pushed hard. I managed it just about and it felt just right, emitting a few powerful howls to help me through.
Straight bar. My nemesis. I picked up the bar and felt the energy pulsating through my body. Every fibre of my being wanted to beat that bar. I wanted to win. I wanted glory. I would settle only for victory. So slowly I began lifting. One set was complete and I could feel I still had more in me. The next set was a struggle, but through sheer mental strength I made it to the end. I needed my rest now, ready for the final confrontation. And then I began, lifting once, then lifting again, and again, until all I could think and feel was the bitter will of the bar to stay down, but overcome its will I did, until the bar wanted to stay down so much that I could hardly force it not to, but somehow I lifted for the final rep. Back to 3x11!
Cable crunches. I kept the same weight and increased it by one rep per set. This pushed me to the brink. But given all the hip hop I watched over the weekend, thankfully my abs were up to the challenge.
Next workout Thursday. Peace out.
Devil's in the house of the rising sun!
I was really feeling it today. I put on my motivational playlist and strutted into the gym. All eyes were on me. I could feel the pressure. But I could take it. Time to show them how it's done!
Squats at 60kg. Amazing form for the first few - a work of art. Form turns squats from a mere physical exercise into a dance of beastly beauty. The power of it makes lesser men tremble. The artistic demands of a squat has the power to make a man go weak at the knees. I want not only to go low for the first 5, but I want all 25 reps to be a divine expression of sub-parallelity. Watch me do it!
Deadlift I've started adding weight to. I added 5kg and lifted for 5 reps without any issues. It was no problem, perhaps because I have a secret weapon. With every lift I employ a mental device to push me beyond physical limits. For the deadlift, all I have to do is picture my mum, watching me, and how proud she presumably must be at the glorious man I've become. After this it's easy to find the strength. For the final rep I summoned all the sentimentality I could muster, and with tears streaming down my face, echoing across the gym I cried "This deadlift's for you, ma!"
Standing press. After last time I approached the bar with caution. Bros are very primal creatures - they can sense danger metres away. When someone's reckless with their guns, they can feel it. Like meerkats, they all pop their heads up and look. I reassured them by ignoring them and loaded my 27.5kg on the bar. 2.5kg more than last time. I wasn't sure if I'd manage it, but pushing with all my might I lifted it above my head for all my reps.
Bent over row I increased by 2.5kg. It was difficult but once you get into rhythm it's not so bad. Rowing to the beat. Slave ships discovered this a long time ago. I didn't have a drum but I had Kiss FM which is not really the same thing at all. Somehow it worked. The beats gave me renewed vigour and I managed to make the lifts.
CGBP is getting a bit of a pain. I was all over the place. So much so that a bro came out of nowhere to tell me to keep the bar steadier. He seemed like a nice chap and I tried to slow my lifts down. I failed at the same point as last time. I think I did the majority of the lifts slower though, so I think that this is still technically progress. I like technicalities - they're like straws you can grasp onto when there's nothing else left. I'll master CGBP eventually. It's only a matter of time.
Straight bar. My nemesis. It was there, waiting for me. How long it'd been waiting there, I don't know. I can only assume it was repeating self-affirmations in meditative fury until I stepped up. The battle was on. The first set was a piece of cake. The second set was hard. The third set - God have mercy on my immortal soul! It was truly a battle of life and death. Somehow I did it. I made it to 3x12! This means it's time to go back to 3x8 and up the weight by 2.5kg.
Cable crunches are coming along great. I increased my set size again, now up to 13. I'm not sure what to do for progression other than keep doing this. I can't increase the weight because 70kg is heavier than I am and physics won't permit such things. Paused crunches? Some other exercise? Don't know.
Next workout on Sunday! Enjoy your weekends everyone and keep pumping that iron!
Workout B
Squats 5x5 60kg No increase
Deadlift 1x5 65kg Increase of 5kg
Standing press 5x5 27.5kg Increase of 2.5kg
Bent over row 5x5 42.5kg Increase of 2.5kg
Close grip bench press 3x8 32.5kg No increase
Straight bar 3x12 20kg Increase of 1 rep per set
Cable crunches 3x13 65kg Increase of 1 rep per setI was really feeling it today. I put on my motivational playlist and strutted into the gym. All eyes were on me. I could feel the pressure. But I could take it. Time to show them how it's done!
Squats at 60kg. Amazing form for the first few - a work of art. Form turns squats from a mere physical exercise into a dance of beastly beauty. The power of it makes lesser men tremble. The artistic demands of a squat has the power to make a man go weak at the knees. I want not only to go low for the first 5, but I want all 25 reps to be a divine expression of sub-parallelity. Watch me do it!
Deadlift I've started adding weight to. I added 5kg and lifted for 5 reps without any issues. It was no problem, perhaps because I have a secret weapon. With every lift I employ a mental device to push me beyond physical limits. For the deadlift, all I have to do is picture my mum, watching me, and how proud she presumably must be at the glorious man I've become. After this it's easy to find the strength. For the final rep I summoned all the sentimentality I could muster, and with tears streaming down my face, echoing across the gym I cried "This deadlift's for you, ma!"
Standing press. After last time I approached the bar with caution. Bros are very primal creatures - they can sense danger metres away. When someone's reckless with their guns, they can feel it. Like meerkats, they all pop their heads up and look. I reassured them by ignoring them and loaded my 27.5kg on the bar. 2.5kg more than last time. I wasn't sure if I'd manage it, but pushing with all my might I lifted it above my head for all my reps.
Bent over row I increased by 2.5kg. It was difficult but once you get into rhythm it's not so bad. Rowing to the beat. Slave ships discovered this a long time ago. I didn't have a drum but I had Kiss FM which is not really the same thing at all. Somehow it worked. The beats gave me renewed vigour and I managed to make the lifts.
CGBP is getting a bit of a pain. I was all over the place. So much so that a bro came out of nowhere to tell me to keep the bar steadier. He seemed like a nice chap and I tried to slow my lifts down. I failed at the same point as last time. I think I did the majority of the lifts slower though, so I think that this is still technically progress. I like technicalities - they're like straws you can grasp onto when there's nothing else left. I'll master CGBP eventually. It's only a matter of time.
Straight bar. My nemesis. It was there, waiting for me. How long it'd been waiting there, I don't know. I can only assume it was repeating self-affirmations in meditative fury until I stepped up. The battle was on. The first set was a piece of cake. The second set was hard. The third set - God have mercy on my immortal soul! It was truly a battle of life and death. Somehow I did it. I made it to 3x12! This means it's time to go back to 3x8 and up the weight by 2.5kg.
Cable crunches are coming along great. I increased my set size again, now up to 13. I'm not sure what to do for progression other than keep doing this. I can't increase the weight because 70kg is heavier than I am and physics won't permit such things. Paused crunches? Some other exercise? Don't know.
Next workout on Sunday! Enjoy your weekends everyone and keep pumping that iron!
Nice training after a very disruptive weekend.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Your log posts are even more poetic than HFergusons used to be, and that takes some doing 
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