Did you ask your partner to get tested?

This isn't really my area of experience but that is why I'm asking. Basically if you enter a relationship with someone is it reasonable to not have sex until they (and you to provide them reassurance) have been tested for sti's? Or do most people just use protection and not bother about asking their partner to get tested? Or use protection until they have been tested?

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Reply 1

Rum Ham

Me and my partner were best friends before going out so we knew each others sexual past and that we were both virgins so we never got tested. If I were in a new relationship and they had been with someone in the past, I would prefer if they got tested and as would I to show them I was also clean and to be fair to them. I would use protection until I knew we were both clean. I'm on the pill so I would be covered against pregnancy but not STIs.
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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

Tyrion_Lannister

No, I trusted him when he said he'd been tested

Reply 3

missretro

I think its totally reasonable. If I was in relationship with someone I would expect us to be open with each other and agree to get tested together prior to having sex. Yes relationships are about trust but if you have nothing to worry about then why not get tested.

Reply 4

inthedark1

Ok, what I'm asking mainly is would you require a partner to get tested before having sex at all (ie even with protection) or would you have sex but use protection until tested? I've never had sx so I'm sure I've no sti's but I would get tested just because it's only fair if I'm asking them to.

Reply 5

missretro

Original post by inthedark1

Yes I would even with protection.

Reply 6

katiiiiie

My boyfriend was a virgin so I never had to ask him to. My ex boyfriend wasn't a virgin but I never asked him, he had only slept with one person and I knew who she was. I suppose if I got with someone else now that had a sexual history I would ask him to get tested.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

My boyfriend had only slept with one girl before he met me and the lost their virginity to each other so I didn't need to ask him. If I became single again and he was someone who had more of a sexual history then yes I would (and I would get myself tested if asked me to) and use condoms until then.

Reply 8

iamu

I'd trust her but i'd be pissed if she gave me something. The tests hurt like ****

Reply 9

LavenderBlueSky88

Depends on their sexual past. My current partner was the only one I suggested get tested, as he had slept with a few people and had never been tested before. Others I have trusted as they have only slept with a couple of others and always used condoms, or have been tested before. Girls should get tested too though, it's not all down to the guy.

Reply 10

superwolf

Both get tested, it's the best way. Having said that, I have just used protection (condoms) for some people I've slept with more as a one-off (I'm in an open relationship, so it's pretty important to have things set out and no confusion about who you're using protection with and who you feel able to go without with).

Reply 11

doodle_333

yes, most people I know would get tested between partners anyway without being asked so if someone hasn't bothered then it's not unreasonable to expect them to wait

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

I went out with an African girl once and asked her to be tested before we took it to the next level she refused so I ended it. Not unreasonable to ask her that seeing as I was willing to be tested too. Why should you be in danger? Nothing to hide then get tested especially with such a multi ethnic society with so many diseases around.

Reply 13

superwolf

Original post by Anonymous

No idea why you're bringing race into the discussion... :unsure:

Reply 14

fleur_de_haine

Original post by Anonymous

I imagine it was probably the way in which you framed the request really.

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Reply 15

Anonymous #3

I was going to, since my boyfriend has been with A LOT of women, but I forgot. He said he once caught something (and got it sorted out) so I guess he checks his sexual health out every once in a while anyway.

Reply 16

fleur_de_haine

I can't say that I have asked all my sexual partners to have an STI screen before having sex, however I do suggest that they do at some point or other as well as having regular screens myself. I do however use condoms consistently so I should think that the risk of picking things up is minimised.

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Original post by superwolf

No idea why you're bringing race into the discussion... :unsure:

No I'm not bringing race into it's just if I'm going to have sex with her then I need up be sure she is safe especially as Africa is rife with AIDS.

Reply 18

superwolf

Original post by Anonymous

No I'm not bringing race into it's just if I'm going to have sex with her then I need up be sure she is safe especially as Africa is rife with AIDS.

The bit I've bolded was the bit I found questionable. Possibly it wasn't your intended meaning, but I inferred that you meant 'we live in a multi ethnic society, which therefore has more diseases around.' Which sounds an awful lot like racism.

Reply 19

donutaud15

My husband was a virgin so no I didn't ask him.

I got tested about a month before meeting him even though I've always had protected sex

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