Are all HR girls hot?

In my experience YES they are.

They are also the nicest people in the firm. (They're not competing for your job)

The young ones are more relaxed than the ones in your division and the girls there are more girly than the aggressive types who are more likely to be in your division.

Compliment them. I know it's hard, but whenever you can ask how they are and talk nicely to them. The fact that you unlike your colleagues are nice, will leave an impression!

Whatever you like, within reason, as long as you prime an IOI, you can talk about whatever you like, if she's engaged/returning IOIs then it almost doesn't matter what you say as long as the (other) verbal and non-verbal communication is spot on e.g. tonality, pace/strength of voice (slow, strong), posture (open, not hunched, slightly raised jaw), eye contact (warm but fixed on hers, moving to her mouth some of the time when she's talking), grin..

At the end of the day, if a girl is keen, she'll let you know/will be (secretly) eager to get to know you better, and if she's neutral, well then there's always the chance she's a decent soul and won't make you feel like a prize ass for putting your neck out on the line and trying to chat her up..

Daygamers jog back round in front of girls and say things like "hi, can I just tell you something really quick? ... I saw you walk by and I thought you looked really nice" ... observational comment + assumption about the girl ... conversation flows (with assumptions / challenges thrown in, and dialing down the energy investment, allowing the girl to hook and invest the energy herself/start doing all the leg work)

Instead of the above opener, I personally would probably try something somewhat more innocent/light that addresses the elephant in the room (the fact that you're obviously having a crack) straight off the bat, were I to make such an approach (I've never approached without a particular conversational IN before, personally):

"Hey. Erm. Ok, so.. I was going to ask for directions but actually, I know exactly where I'm going, I just thought you looked nice/cute and wanted to come say hi" ...

You might like to check out my related series of threads..

If you're not somewhat nervous in the presence of attractive women, at least as a youngster, then frankly something's wrong with you

To which you said..?

Give her a grin and a little salute, chicks love that **** (ok you look a tool but chicks also love the 'I look a tool and I don't give a ****' vibe)

If you're not somewhat nervous in the presence of attractive women, at least as a youngster, then frankly something's wrong with you

To which you said..?

Give her a grin and a little salute, chicks love that **** (ok you look a tool but chicks also love the 'I look a tool and I don't give a ****' vibe)

Ok, bit soft but fair enough. When was this and has there been a response from her?

Good lad, always end with a crisp finish, bitches love that



..ok, perhaps not that powerful

When?

So let me get this straight, you responded to her proposition by effectively parroting her!?.. mate, girls want a man who takes the bull by the horns and takes the lead

So reply to your email to her (keeping your previous email in the message below, so it doesn't look weak like you're trying to pretend this is your first response to her 'would be great to catch up sometime' email), with something really short like:

Howdy,

About that catch up - how are you fixed for next week?

J x

So let me get this straight, you responded to her proposition by effectively parroting her!?.. mate, girls want a man who takes the bull by the horns and takes the lead

So reply to your email to her (keeping your previous email in the message below, so it doesn't look weak like you're trying to pretend this is your first response to her 'would be great to catch up sometime' email), with something really short like:

Howdy,

About that catch up - how are you fixed for next week?

J x

I know I know, I'm nervous cos I've liked her from the moment I met her back at uni at a networking event!! To be fair, I didn't just parrot it back, but it wasn't suggestive enough perhaps.

I want to send the how is she fixed message, I'm just worried that:
1. Although she was really really bubbly to me, if she wasn't interested and was just being friendly, am I crossing a line, by propositioning a member of HR on work email?
2. If she says no, I would be crushed. I am afraid she will just reject.
3. I'm not sure how to impress this girl, every time I meet her my words get fumbled and it's when I haven't taken a shave and my shirt is all ruffled, etc. and afterward I think I should have said this or that.

There's nothing inappropriate about that email whatsoever, I wouldn't worry one iota

Just go for it. Worry you'll just make things worse. Take control and be straight to the point.

You need to think about the 'crossing the line' issue. That's for you to call. Is it gonna clash with your career? Can you deal with the concequences? Your call.


Posted from TSR Mobile

Okay I'll try! Thing is, I've never had a girlfriend even though I just graduated and started work. That's also why I'm nervous.

She's not HR for my department, but I think maybe she's nervous too, she's a junior in her department, so maybe she can't be seen to be dating someone in the firm? Inter office relationships aren't forbidden, and this would be cross-departmental.

I really like her, I have since I first saw her, and even then I thought she was another student like me!

She was also flirty with just me, not everyone, so she didn't seem to be a fake just talking to all candidates. Thing is I just saw on FB by googling her that she is in a relationship. Between the time I saw her at a networking event and I came to work for the firm, she has met someone sigh. Does this mean her latest flirtations mean nothing?

It could explain her lack of response on email though..

All you can do is ask. She will just say: "sorry I have a boyfriend". Most girls are actually flattered when genuine guys ask them on dates in a polite way.

**** happens. Happens to me. She says: 'I have a boyfriend'. All you can do is respect her response and move on.

Some people are just flirty by the way. Some just aren't aware how much they lead on others.


Posted from TSR Mobile

You’re not propositioning anyone. Even if she hadn’t suggested the catch up it would be absolutely fine as ‘catch up’ =/= date necessarily, even with an ‘x’ at the end, this can be interpreted as just being friendly

Worst case scenario: she’s got a boyfriend/not interested and will either ignore you or let you down gently. In life, the SAS motto applies: ‘who dares, wins’

Why? She is one girl in several billion, and the world doesn’t owe you interest from the first girl you take a shine to. Good things don’t come easy, and rejection galvanises/strengthens us, and risking it sets us apart from other men

Where did you get the idea that you should be falling over yourself to impresss her?

That’s natural, and constructive criticism is good, if it leads to personal development

I would have broken that up into several messages myself. If you send long messages like that it shows you are investing too heavily and appear a little keen (no problem if she’s hot for you but if she’s undecided it’s a definite no no)

A rest from what?

If you get to my age and you don’t have something approaching my confidence I’ll be surprised. It’s not just innate, it’s a function of experience and related learning/organic growth in self-confidence

From what I’ve read I’d check them out as a matter of priority, and if you need further help you may PM me if you want to enlist my services on a more profound/detailed basis (among other things, I’m a dating/life coach)

Again, this is only natural

Then you’ve already won half the battle. It’s all about ‘getting in state’, which again, is a function of experience and learning, as well as raising certain things (mindset) to the conscious level and being brave

Ah well, I would still pursue the catch up and work at making her a friend – it’ll enable you to get into the following state: ‘this girl has a boyfriend, I have absolutely no chance with her but I’m going to befriend her anyway’

It’ll be good practice socialising with someone who really does it for you, and you never know, if things don’t work out with her boyfriend you may be able to swoop in and catch her fall (just don't for God's sake become one of those wet, infatuated fanboy types); equally, she may have hot HR friends

Just make sure you make reference to the last girl you were seeing e.g. 'I've been seeing this girl on and off but [voice reservation/excuse]' before the topic of her boyfriend comes up, but only at an appropriate juncture. This way she'll feel less awkward about the could-be-construed-as-a-date scenario, and also impressed that you're so open about such things and not trying to shark her when she'll probably know that you have chemistry

I would also advise making it a group meet, if either of you have any work pals you could bring along

HR girls are well rehearsed at establishing rapport, and the attractive ones typically play upon their feminine charms to an extent (which may be confusing for young guys, no doubt)

This is true in most walks of life: never let fear be a main motivating factor

Correct. High value women tend to value/command high quality relationships

There you go then.. even if she has a boyfriend and absolutely no interest in you, you should see her pleasant friendship as a real result, and networking potential as a real bonus if you handle things reasonably smoothly

They don't have to be mutual friends, just work pals who are decent company and aren't going to show you up or anything in front of her. The thing about HR girls is they are all about the social side of life, and big into 'social proofing' (something I steer clear of, out of necessity, personally)

Either is fine, whatever feels natural to you - just make sure it doesn't sound like a date 'catch up over a coffee'