Mental Health Support Society Mk XIV

Not so bad Up and down busy week, but I've managed a whole week without a massive fight with the gf Today has been stressful, and I'm still not perfect, but working hard Decided to give the library a miss and make 'learn spss day' tomorrow! Uni might get too much, but I dunno We'll see

Hows mr P Duck?

[Sorry for the long post in advance!] Hi haven't posted here in ages. Sorry about that Had a huge issue with
depression a couple of years ago but got over that and was completely fine during my final year.
Seriously thought all my MH issues were behind me. My therapist at the time thought it was all circumstantial.
However, in the last month things have been getting bad. Can generally tell when something's up. The thing is though it feels completely different this time.

I've got used to dealing with depression over the years. Whilst I'm currently feeling a bit depressed that isn't my main issue. There are times during the day when my brain just seems completely wired, racing thoughts and I can't concentrate on anything. It's like a whirlwind and I just end up in bed trying to get my brain to slow down. The closest thing I've felt to it before was when I was put on prozac when I was depressed a couple of years ago and it made me feel the same way (but it was much more extreme then). The thing is I'm not on any medication so there's nothing that could cause it. I meditated and that brought me back down to being somewhat level and that's proving really helpful. Just confused as it's kind of a new feeling.

I just don't get why I'm feeling like this, everything's great at the moment, I'm back doing a masters which is all stuff I'm really passionate about (I never thought I'd get a 2.1 in the first place!) at a uni I love with tons of friends. I guess it boils down to some stress re my home life (it seems it always does!)
I'm just in my room bawling my eyes out because I know I need to see a therapist (I've made an appointment) but I don't want to go back to therapy and endless GP appointments.

x

Thanks for the advice. I didn't pace much but concentrated on breathing in the bus and it seemed to help. I tell myself things out loud all the time (usually stuff like "yo idiot, why you miss puck???" ) so I'm quite good at that


When you feed the ducks does all the goose poop not bother you?

i'm so spaced out i feel like i'm not even a person

I do, not that I've played a lot recently, of either actually I am female though, generally an advantage singing high in my experience That's why I like them, they're more interesting! Also why I ended up singing sop 2 at school as I was the only one that could manage the part It's fun being in an SATB choir though, I'm used to SSA as I went to a girls school Mix both parts? And see if anyone notices

So it didn't really It's like that sometimes, no idea why Should be good then, hopefully! Well good's kind of the wrong word but yeah, helpful... Probably be helpful to meet some people in a similar situation to you, too

Ooh coloured pens I might do sometime, it generally stresses me out more though so might not

Will try them when I have more time, maybe tomorrow! I'll look forward to it, thanks

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Really not sure about today, don't think I can cope with 8+ hours of being awake, let alone with a load of people I don't really know and things, plus at least three in the car with my parents having a go at me Had no sleep at all either and it's not even like my sister's coming so I can hide with her, I'm on my own

I could have a see if the school have anything, I've never heard about one before though... I suppose I could always talk to my form tutor or something? They wouldn't be able to do a lot but they'd probably be able to give me a bit of advice

Thanks

Didn't sleep too well but feeling more stable today, did some meditation/relaxation stuff

Also loving the love for The Smiths on this thread, I swear if it wasn't for them, Joy Division, Radiohead and Pink Floyd I'd be in a much worse way most of the time!

I will reply to you later, just have a lot of things to do with packing and moving to uni etc so I'm a bit busy rn, sorry!

awwww
Hopefully it will get better.

And its the meeting new people bit. I am fine with people I know, fine with people I know online but am meeting for the first time IRL and fine with new people if there are more people I know than don't know. But it is when I only know a couple of people and there are around 10 people I don't know, as was the case on Wednesday night, where I get really nervous. It's not even people being loud / needing to get way, just I really get nervous when new people are involved.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but that was after having a beer before leaving my house and quickly drinking the first one I had at my friends house too.

Picked a couple of little boats out with my daddy. Uncle and grandad are both involved now too and I suspect my nana is probably already knocking me some curtains and bedding together and deciding on refurbing any upholstery she can get her hands on. I'm really lucky to have such an awesome boating family around me. At least it'll keep maintenance down and I have all of that advice and guidance behind me. My home marina will be super cheap since my uncle runs it and my uni marina has all of the mod cons. It's going to be brilliant as long as I don't freak out over it.

Yeah, i'm going home for the weekend today so probably going to have to talk about it with them. I just need to explain what happens to me and the reasons why and hope that they understand. Do you have social anxiety too?

There is a shared kitchen but most people use it as a communal area and I don't feel confident going in there when there are others already there. I don't really have any uni friends at the moment. I am moving into the other halls which is also catered so I may find the courage to go to the canteen more then. I don't know. All I know is that I need to start eating properly but this is still a big problem unfortunately,

Is everything alright with you?

Ran 5km!

Operation Get More Mice is gathering momentum...

Give up on my life. This is ridiculous.

literately can't seem to do anything right; ****ed up my GP appointment as they didn't change my meds or understand how **** I been feeling & now my girlfriend is upset cause I'm a self absorbed ****.

no wonder I ****ing hate myself, everything I tell myself about myself is right, I don't deserve anything other than suffering.

I've spent pretty much all afternoon with my hot water bottle in a heck of a lot of pain, and feeling incredibly nauseous. Not a happy camper.

Which one guys??

i wish i could go to my doctor about this, i need to but i cant.

I hope you feel better soon. His flat? Sorry my mind is a massive blank right now. :/

Everything is sorted and we're all feeling good.

Yes I do too. I play sims from it.

Big achievements this week I have done so well for myself x

To add to the Smiths love, I recommend "a rush and a push and the land is ours", "frankly, Mr. Shankly" and "half a person". Don't think anyone's mentioned those three yet.

Been listening to them all day after being reminded by others how good they are

There's a mosquito somewhere in my room. I could hear it earlier. I can't hear it now. It's so stressful. Why won't they just leave me alone?!

anxiety is getting totally out of hand. up until about a year ago I only suffered during flashbacks, now its basically every day. horrible. hands shake, hyperventilate, feel sick, chest pain, palpitations. the last time it was this bad was in February when I had a complete and utter massive breakdown

Could you go along with a friend/if a friend took you would that make it any easier?

I like your idea about the nth term

Haha, I'm Astrud
Everyone here is so nice, helpful and welcoming, you've all helped me already

Sorry doctor's didn't go so well you are awesome and so kind - please don't hate yourself - you deserve so much more!





I quite like the look of the heart one What's the meaning behind the blue ribbon? (if you don't mind me asking )

Hope you get sleep soon


Could you go along with a friend/if a friend took you would that make it any easier?

I like your idea about the nth term


Thanks Don't apologise! Yeah his flat

That is great to hear

Ah I always end up buying games in the sales and then not playing Have some star wars games I should probably play soon


Well done!


Haha, thanks Still need to make a playlist Currently listening to regina spektor


Could you leave a lamp/light on outside your room or something? Would hopefully go to there then/stay there and not bother you?

Big


About online if you need any help with anything lovely


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Done nothing today Well, did some stuff online/designed a flyer (sort of) for juggling, and also looked at modules for 30 mins, but nothing else Haven't left house - was meant to go swimming but I ended up missing all the times I would've gone, and then didn't want to go at 8, because I didn't want to be exhausted/when I wanted to be up for a bit longer

Feel lost and confused and annoyed - and I know sort of what I need to do but for some stupid reason I don't and then gaah

On the bright side my lego stormtrooper keyring came today

Sorry for the moan :/

i can't any more

Glad it helped a bit - was it all slightly better once you got there/started? Hope it went okay Haha I always talk to myself when alone at least especially on walks!

I'm not sure I've noticed it before properly Surely they poop in the water mostly?! :lol

Done nothing today Well, did some stuff online/designed a flyer (sort of) for juggling, and also looked at modules for 30 mins, but nothing else Haven't left house - was meant to go swimming but I ended up missing all the times I would've gone, and then didn't want to go at 8, because I didn't want to be exhausted/when I wanted to be up for a bit longer

Feel lost and confused and annoyed - and I know sort of what I need to do but for some stupid reason I don't and then gaah

On the bright side my lego stormtrooper keyring came today

Sorry for the moan :/

it wouldnt make it easier.

and thanks, it was my math teachers.

sorry you're not feeling great. try not to beat yourself up about not swimming etc. everyone does it, and its ok not to be productive sometimes

Feel so hollow.. Even though I know it would be incredibly unhealthy for both of us in so sad

i can't any more

Yeah, it was better when I got there. Everyone was so friendly which kind of freaked me out a bit but yeah, it was fun.

Are you feeding the ducks at Lakeside or that little pond behind the halls on main campus? I walked over to Lakeside a few times and there were massive hordes of geese pooping everywhere and being scary if you go near them. I think I went during mating season though, I guess they've probably migrated now coming up to winter.

I think it is worth going to the GP, because;
a) It might be useful to see what they suggest
b) Despite being prescribed by a psychiatrist, they still might be willing to increase.

I don't know if coming off meds just before going back to university is a good idea. Assuming the meds have helped in the past, I would personally:
- Try an increase in meds first
- If the increase in dosage doesn't help, then look into coming off them.
This way, you are trying something which has worked, before trying an unknown drug which might or might not work.

It is worth noting that if you really want to come off your current meds, then your G.P. should help you, as it is your decision if to take them or not, you just need their help to come off them without withdrawal.

Have you got any support in place for when you go back to uni?

Lastly, you can do this, we have faith in you

(Sorry this message was a bit of a ramble, and had too many lists)

Picked a couple of little boats out with my daddy. Uncle and grandad are both involved now too and I suspect my nana is probably already knocking me some curtains and bedding together and deciding on refurbing any upholstery she can get her hands on. I'm really lucky to have such an awesome boating family around me. At least it'll keep maintenance down and I have all of that advice and guidance behind me. My home marina will be super cheap since my uncle runs it and my uni marina has all of the mod cons. It's going to be brilliant as long as I don't freak out over it.



They got back to me this morning with an appointment for Monday with their mental health team. Bit nervous and worried I'm going to be pushed through all of the city's mad mental health schemes again.

How're you doing?

Cant even get settled cant get comfy or anything!


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