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Mental Health Support Society Mk XIV

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Also, don't think I told you guys, but I went to wellbeing on Thursday after the lady sent me the email. was ok, pretty uneventful. she was kind and I managed to tell her about how I was ambivalent cause of the bad experiences i'd had. surprisingly she was kind of understanding - normally I get really defensive responses off people when I say that kind of thing. though tbh she didn't really give me much hope. I told her about BPD and from what she said I don't think she knows much about it. cause she basically was saying that the BPD was the reason I was depressed and maybe it was 'in my personality' to be depressed. which is found weird... they are both ILLNESSES, nothing else. and basically saying that ADs wouldn't work and stuff, which I disagree with :s-smilie: and then she went on to say that maybe I shouldnt get support and I should go and do exercise and join societies, and have to learn to accept that this isn't gonna go away, and certainly not quickly. anyway, long story short, I agreed to see a MH mentor again for a bit. she said she would talk to the mentor about what i'd said about my last experience of mentoring (very bad) and now im worried. also just looked up the mentor and shes an old woman :s-smilie: which tbh worries me a bit. trying to be judgemental yet but I dunno. reading a bit about her doesn't give me much hope. sighhhhhhhhhhhh.
I'm never going to be happy with myself. :frown:

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Original post by Valvopus
Yeah, I'm not planning to just stop taking them tomorrow. For a start I'd feel really ill by mid afternoon. Think I'm going to wait until I go back to uni to see GP since
-I hate the one I have here and
-might just be a random panic about uni.
I did have a lot going on last night, friend was texting me for advice on a triggery topic.

I'm going to change GP when I go back anyway so there shouldn't be the psychiatrist issue then since it's a different PCT and I'm not making a 400 mile round trip for every appointment. I worry with increasing it that I might feel worse (going from 30mg mirtazapine to 45 definitely made me worse) and it would take longer to taper off. I think the psychiatrist said if this lot didn't work they probably weren't going to suggest I try any others so don't know.

Yeah definitely not coming off them without GP help. I feel bad enough if I leave it an extra 6 hours. Last time I actually forgot to take a dose was horrible.

When I head back I think the uni is basically going to throw the mental health team at me. I've been told there will be mandatory meetings and I'll be referred to the counselling service. Plus all the pastoral care people in my college know what is going on. Failing that I intend to be brutally honest (not in a mean way just matter of fact) with the other medics in my year so they might notice if I start to be even quieter than normal. Plus I think if I talk about it openly it might encourage them to which is a good thing?

Thank you, I did the first load of washing for uni today. The rest is getting done on Monday.

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That sounds like a decent plan :yy:

Will you be referred to another psychiatrist at uni do you know? I understand about you worrying about increasing the dose - however just because it made things worse with the mirtazapine doesn't mean that will happen again, however it would make it take longer to come off the meds. How many meds have you tried now? I have personally been on about 7/8 different combinations now if I recall correctly, and my team are still considering new combinations - so it seems a bit strange to give up on drugs completely, especially if they have helped in the past.

Sounds like you and your uni have things pretty well sorted for when you go back, and you always have the lovely people in the thread to give advice and help when needed.

Well done on doing washing :h:
Peeps, I went to an academic library ALL BY MYSELF and didn't freak out! :king1:

(OK, so maybe I walked round in lots of unnecessary circles due to being dazed and confused... but let's focus on the positives! :ninja: )

:biggrin:

Original post by ScaryScience
Also, don't think I told you guys, but I went to wellbeing on Thursday after the lady sent me the email. was ok, pretty uneventful. she was kind and I managed to tell her about how I was ambivalent cause of the bad experiences i'd had. surprisingly she was kind of understanding - normally I get really defensive responses off people when I say that kind of thing. though tbh she didn't really give me much hope. I told her about BPD and from what she said I don't think she knows much about it. cause she basically was saying that the BPD was the reason I was depressed and maybe it was 'in my personality' to be depressed. which is found weird... they are both ILLNESSES, nothing else. and basically saying that ADs wouldn't work and stuff, which I disagree with :s-smilie: and then she went on to say that maybe I shouldnt get support and I should go and do exercise and join societies, and have to learn to accept that this isn't gonna go away, and certainly not quickly. anyway, long story short, I agreed to see a MH mentor again for a bit. she said she would talk to the mentor about what i'd said about my last experience of mentoring (very bad) and now im worried. also just looked up the mentor and shes an old woman :s-smilie: which tbh worries me a bit. trying to be judgemental yet but I dunno. reading a bit about her doesn't give me much hope. sighhhhhhhhhhhh.


I'm not really online atm but if you need to talk about all this to someone, just text me and we'll try and find time to talk :hugs:
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Peeps, I went to an academic library ALL BY MYSELF and didn't freak out! :king1:

(OK, so maybe I walked round in lots of unnecessary circles due to being dazed and confused... but let's focus on the positives! :ninja: )

:biggrin:



I'm not really online atm but if you need to talk about all this to someone, just text me and we'll try and find time to talk :hugs:


Yeyyyy :party:
I stayed away from my uni library if i could as it was confusing and scary :yep:


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Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Peeps, I went to an academic library ALL BY MYSELF and didn't freak out! :king1:

(OK, so maybe I walked round in lots of unnecessary circles due to being dazed and confused... but let's focus on the positives! :ninja: )

:biggrin:


well done! :smile: hope it went well and you are feeling good! :hugs:

---

so tired, sleep pattern is even bigger mess than normal and it's making me feel ill, top of that my head is just a complete cluster**** of thoughts all the time, don't even know what am thinking or doing half the time :s-smilie: glad im at home tbh, just need to rest/relax this weekend tbh.
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Peeps, I went to an academic library ALL BY MYSELF and didn't freak out! :king1:

(OK, so maybe I walked round in lots of unnecessary circles due to being dazed and confused... but let's focus on the positives! :ninja: )

:biggrin:



I'm not really online atm but if you need to talk about all this to someone, just text me and we'll try and find time to talk :hugs:


thanks hun, really appreciate that. may text at some point if I freak out (seeing her on Monday, and generally speaking atm my anxiety is unbearable, so could be fun). no pressure to reply quickly/at all though, I know how much you've got going on. also congrats on managing the library, that's great. l always walk around dazed in circles every time I go in, so you did well as I know you haven't had good experiences in the past :hugs:
I did it. :jive: I did it? :gasp: I did it! :headfire:


:biggrin:


:tongue:
Original post by ScaryScience
ok, thanks hun. how you doing now?

not great, to be frank. i was too early to get into the library this morning so i ended up sitting on a bench in front of the sea and just listening to music and crying, and thats pretty much how i still feel now :frown: feeling pretty reckless and unpredictable, which is scaring me. heads is exploring bad unmentionable things right now so i'm trying to distract myself but its not really working :frown:

times like this where i kind of want to dissociate, if thats not really weird to say? like, i'd rather feel completely spaced out and not quite linked up with the rest of my body and maybe end up staring at a wall for an hour than feel like this.
Had a four hour nap and now having a raging headache. Feeling a bit icky and gross and I'm worried sick about starting my placement and not being able to make friends or have a good relationship with my mentor/the department. I'm so awkward and I think I came across a bit weird last time I was there :frown:

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Thanks for all the support re: library visit peeps :grouphugs:

Original post by tasha96
I did it. :jive: I did it? :gasp: I did it! :headfire:


:biggrin:


:tongue:


Bloody PRSOM :colonhash:

Original post by Team_McDreamy
not great, to be frank. i was too early to get into the library this morning so i ended up sitting on a bench in front of the sea and just listening to music and crying, and thats pretty much how i still feel now :frown: feeling pretty reckless and unpredictable, which is scaring me. heads is exploring bad unmentionable things right now so i'm trying to distract myself but its not really working :frown:

times like this where i kind of want to dissociate, if thats not really weird to say? like, i'd rather feel completely spaced out and not quite linked up with the rest of my body and maybe end up staring at a wall for an hour than feel like this.


Original post by ParadoxSocks
Had a four hour nap and now having a raging headache. Feeling a bit icky and gross and I'm worried sick about starting my placement and not being able to make friends or have a good relationship with my mentor/the department. I'm so awkward and I think I came across a bit weird last time I was there :frown:

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:jumphug: to both
id be lying if i said i wasn't bricking it for tomorrow
Original post by Team_McDreamy
not great, to be frank. i was too early to get into the library this morning so i ended up sitting on a bench in front of the sea and just listening to music and crying, and thats pretty much how i still feel now :frown: feeling pretty reckless and unpredictable, which is scaring me. heads is exploring bad unmentionable things right now so i'm trying to distract myself but its not really working :frown:

times like this where i kind of want to dissociate, if thats not really weird to say? like, i'd rather feel completely spaced out and not quite linked up with the rest of my body and maybe end up staring at a wall for an hour than feel like this.


so sorry to hear that - I really can relate. hope that you are safe. also totally get what you mean in an earlier post about saying too much and then the med school making you leave. its so hard because you want the right support, but that requires being honest I guess. Its a fine line. Also, spend my life hoping to dissociate, totally normal. It's absolute bull**** when people that say its better to feel something than nothing at all. They've clearly never experienced emotional agony :console: feel free to PM if you need someone, I truly do understand what you're saying. not that im much help when I feel like this, but it can help to know you're not alone
i put up some posters and stuff up in my bedroom. some of them are motivational, some of them are space themed.
Original post by ScaryScience
so sorry to hear that - I really can relate. hope that you are safe. also totally get what you mean in an earlier post about saying too much and then the med school making you leave. its so hard because you want the right support, but that requires being honest I guess. Its a fine line. Also, spend my life hoping to dissociate, totally normal. It's absolute bull**** when people that say its better to feel something than nothing at all. They've clearly never experienced emotional agony :console: feel free to PM if you need someone, I truly do understand what you're saying. not that im much help when I feel like this, but it can help to know you're not alone

its frustrating because i know there are several people who could give me more help if i told them more about what I've been going through, but they also are obliged to let the med school know if they think I'm not coping. they don't even know about my eating issues let alone anything more complex than generalised anxiety and moderate depression! and i know they won't understand if i tell them that i know i will get worse if they send me home :frown: i just need clarification on what level of illness i need to be at to be classified as not fit to practice, because then i can decide whether or not to open up more - but if i ask that then they're automatically going to assume that I'm more ill than I've let on.
Original post by rmhumphries
That sounds like a decent plan :yy:

Will you be referred to another psychiatrist at uni do you know? I understand about you worrying about increasing the dose - however just because it made things worse with the mirtazapine doesn't mean that will happen again, however it would make it take longer to come off the meds. How many meds have you tried now? I have personally been on about 7/8 different combinations now if I recall correctly, and my team are still considering new combinations - so it seems a bit strange to give up on drugs completely, especially if they have helped in the past.

Sounds like you and your uni have things pretty well sorted for when you go back, and you always have the lovely people in the thread to give advice and help when needed.

Well done on doing washing :h:


I'm assuming I will be? I'm going to try and be anyway, the GP I was seeing before I left wanted to refer me then so hopefully she will do so this time. This is #4, not sure why they're saying wouldn't be trying more either, whole categories I've not tried. Don't know really, suspect that it was just that one doctor or maybe trying to sound like he knew what he was doing.

I fully intend to live on this thread if things don't go well when I go back. Or if they do, either way.

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
If you don't, don't worry - no one wants to go to Cambridge anyway :tongue:

:ninja: :colone: :ninja:


That's not true, unless you're talking about St. John's of course *cough* rather be at Oxford *cough*
Original post by Valvopus
I'm assuming I will be? I'm going to try and be anyway, the GP I was seeing before I left wanted to refer me then so hopefully she will do so this time. This is #4, not sure why they're saying wouldn't be trying more either, whole categories I've not tried. Don't know really, suspect that it was just that one doctor or maybe trying to sound like he knew what he was doing.

I fully intend to live on this thread if things don't go well when I go back. Or if they do, either way.



That's not true, unless you're talking about St. John's of course *cough* rather be at Oxford *cough*


I find in my limited experience; when moving to a new area, if you are in need of decisions being made, GPs will usually refer you on to a psychiatrist. It sounds like you will be anyway. #4 isn't a particularly high number; it is possible whoever said that was anti-drugs - however if you push for a solution involving medication, I think they usually will try, even if they are reluctant - and you can always ask for a second opinion if they don't.
Going to keep this short and basic or it'll be a dissertation. :tongue:

A few years ago I was diagnosed with depression and spent a period of time in hospital. Since then I've got better and I'm about 97% recovered.

I started uni a few weeks ago and since then I've been in a constant state of anxiety, even at home (I commute). This manifests itself in shaking, fast heart rate, cold sweats, unnecessary worry, always thinking the worst etc. I went into town today and found myself checking my bag for my phone and purse literally every 2 - 4 minutes because I was so paranoid that I had lost them.

Basically, I don't know what to do. Will this go away? I really don't want a massive relapse.
Original post by ParadoxSocks
Had a four hour nap and now having a raging headache. Feeling a bit icky and gross and I'm worried sick about starting my placement and not being able to make friends or have a good relationship with my mentor/the department. I'm so awkward and I think I came across a bit weird last time I was there :frown:

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Hey what are the placements in?
You know you've been unwell far too long when you get excited that the chemists have changed their packaging... :sigh: :facepalm: :colondollar:

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