How can you be this (un)lucky with halls?!!!

1st year - got the hall that is not next door, but a 1 hr commute. Also hardly any girls to speak of, all of them seem to be at other halls, hardly anyone outgoing in here, common room only has a television stuck on one channel nothing else.

I feel bad, because I'm new to this city how will i make friends or meet girls?

I just came from a boys school as well, so doubly nervous!!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I had a **** time in halls too.

1st year - Lived with an okay group of guys, but couldn't go out with them as i was put on medication and at the end of the year they all stole my food while i was away.
2nd year - This time it was okay, but most f the people were 2nd and 3rd years so they didn't wanna socialise at all.
3rd year - Same story only much worse, lived with smokers who would fill the flat with rancid smoke. I complained several times but nothing happened.

From my experience as a nervous guy who went to uni, making friends past 2nd year is tough; it's possible, but tough! Most cliques are formed in the first few weeks of fresher and within the first year. They don't want people joining in unless you're really cool and can offer something to the group.
I suggest you move into a house away from halls and join a club or two. Be consistent with your approaches and aim to hang out with the same group of guys/girls.

You also gotta fix your self esteem and how you feel about yourself. If you feel like **** all the time, making friends and ****ing girls will be IMPOSSIBLE!

Trust me as i speak this from experience, if people don't seem interested then don't persist, i wasted a lot of time doing this. Be sure to also invite people out and get to know them but don't come across as desperate for company.

Isn't term over now?

Join a couple of societies if you want to meet people outside of your halls.

Reply 4

SophieSmall

Original post by Anonymous

Honestly it makes life more difficult for you but you can still do it. One of our friends lived in **** halls as well, his flatmates had no interest in socialising or going out or just anything. So he made friends with guys on his course who introduced him to us and he met girls that way.
It's always possible but you have to be willing to work for it and maintain friendships outside of halls, meet as many people as possible and network.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by SophieSmall

Hope so!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by SophieSmall

Hope so. Thanks. It's just it's hard because it's been a while now since freshers week and the start and saying hi to people is becoming harder as there seem to be established groups now. It's really hard to break into them. I find it a little cliquey tbh.

I'm not sure how to meet girls around here either as I feel like I'm a lone ranger here!

Reply 7

username163729

Join a few societies/sports clubs and REALLY engage yourself with it, you'll be swimming in socialising opportunities soon enough and the society activities will at least keep you busy outside of studies.

At the funnest point of my university experience (which was in my third year), I was going out about 4-5 times a week, mostly partying with people that weren't my housemates (generally people from about 4 societies/clubs and various other friends i'd met). This was actually a lot more than my first year, where I didn't make so much of an effort with any society in particular and was in a LDR.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 8

Adammartin95

I have four people on my floor out of 12 rooms who are all second years. All they do is stay in their room, never in the kitchen and since they are second years they just keep themselves to themselves. So my floor is pretty **** but I just go upstairs were I have made good friends with the people there. There is about 10 freshers on the floor and they spend most of their time socializing in the kitchen which is good. So just do what I done and gone upstairs and introduce yourself to them and ask if you can chill with them. You can also join clubs and societies were you will make new friends as well as on your course.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Nidhogg_Rider

Yeah hope so. I'm on the football team. But only 3 guys (including me) from my year group joined. This is on a course who has about 400 ppl in each yr group, half male. So most of the people on the team are in the older years. I get on really well with them and have made friends. But thing is, in terms of freshers, there aren't many people. 1 guy doesn't even come and the other who does is more into the drinking. I'm worried because the friends I've made here will have graduated in the next two years.

How do you make friends with ppl your own age? Trouble is in my halls there are two extremes - ppl who don't want to socialise at all and then the binge drinkers. There doesn't appear to be anyone who's up for a good time and wants to mix, but not for the sake of getting drunk. I don't know where to start with meeting girls to date either.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Adammartin95

Agreed, but trouble is most of the people at my current halls are either those who never leave their rooms or those who are just binge drinkers. There a couple of nice ppl at other halls who I've managed to befriend, but I still feel like an outsider, as most of them met each other in freshers week itself. I have friend on sports teams, but they are a few years older than me and about to graduate. I feel like I don't have many friends my age. Also I don't even know how to meet girls my age since finding friends has been this hard.

Reply 11

username163729

Original post by Anonymous

You mean the course football club? Try out the actual university football club too if you want to potentially have a broader scope of meeting people.

Or alternatively, take up a new sport completely. Probably one that has a female audience as well so you can meet girls at the same time. For instance, I joined Lacrosse in my third year. Absolutely fell in love with the sport and met tonnes of new people, guys and girls. Most were in the year/s below me and some in the same year.

I wouldn't think of it being a problem making friends with older students, they're still just like anyone else. By the time you move up a year, some of your friends who have graduated will be replaced by younger undergrads that you can make friends with and so on.

In terms of the social activities that students get up to, what do you expect? Uni is a bit of a binge drinking culture and the most popular activity is going out. What you're seeing is probably the same anywhere else. I think if you go for a social butterfly approach you can at least pick and choose when you want to go out rather than having to follow the crowd. Broadening all of your social groups as much as possible is going to maximize the chance that you're going to get to do something less drink-orientated as well.

If you form a pretty solid group in your course, that can be a good solution to the situation you're faced with too.

Reply 12

shakool2kool

feel it for you, I had an epic hall literally a party every night we even brought in people from other crap halls to join in my advice try get in with people from 'good halls' and join as many societies as possible.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by shakool2kool

Yep, sounds like a plan!

Original post by Nidhogg_Rider

You mean the course football club? Try out the actual university football club too if you want to potentially have a broader scope of meeting people.
.

Thanks

Reply 14

iamu

why do people still live in halls after 1st year??

Reply 15

NJA

Original post by Anonymous

... I'm not sure how to meet girls around here either as I feel like I'm a lone ranger here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hchOYs_d_Bw

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 16

Zarek

Original post by Anonymous

So, sorry to hear this, but I don't think it is a lost cause. My 1st year was spent in the annex of an all male hall 30 mins by bus from the campus. You can imagine my initial enthusiasm. But in hindsight it worked out fine. Strangely there are downsides about living in close proximity to lots of girls you may fancy - trendy mixed halls are 'angst city'. Uni offers so many opportunities to meet people, socialise and learn that you should not be worried. You will look back fondly on this time I reckon.