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Guys how important is a BJ?

I've just started having sex with my new boyfriend and the other day he asked me for a BJ and without any hesitation I said no. I don't know what it is but I find the whole concept weird and dare I say it cringe. this is my first sexual relationship and I don't know whether it's wise for me to have the chat with him about this. Before you jump on the bandwagon and say I clearly don't love him otherwise I'd like to please him, I do love him but I physically can't bring myself to go down there. Isn't it a little bit embarrassing ladies? I don't know. I find this all very daunting. also the thought of having cum in my mouth makes me feel sick.

Reply 1

Ice_Queen

17

Maybe in time it is something you will enjoy, but it's OK to say no. Most men are happy just to be getting sex! Sex is about two people being comfortable together: he shouldn't be pressuring you in any way.

I love doing it, but I don't let my partner finish in my mouth, that does sound a bit 'icky' to me. A bit of compromise can work wonders.

Reply 2

RyRy1998

8

Original post by Anonymous

I've just started having sex with my new boyfriend and the other day he asked me for a BJ and without any hesitation I said no. I don't know what it is but I find the whole concept weird and dare I say it cringe. this is my first sexual relationship and I don't know whether it's wise for me to have the chat with him about this. Before you jump on the bandwagon and say I clearly don't love him otherwise I'd like to please him, I do love him but I physically can't bring myself to go down there. Isn't it a little bit embarrassing ladies? I don't know. I find this all very daunting. also the thought of having cum in my mouth makes me feel sick.

It's not all it's cracked up to be anyway, If you don't want to do it then don't. Perfectly acceptable to say no!

Reply 3

RyRy1998

8

Original post by Ice_Queen

Maybe in time it is something you will enjoy, but it's OK to say no. Most men are happy just to be getting sex! Sex is about two people being comfortable together: he shouldn't be pressuring you in any way.

I love doing it, but I don't let my partner finish in my mouth, that does sound a bit 'icky' to me. A bit of compromise can work wonders.

"icky" or "Sticky" :smile:

Reply 4

MattyR2895

9

Original post by Precious Illusions

It's your first sexual relationship, so it's totally normal for it to be daunting. I would talk to him about it, explain why you don't like the idea and talk it through with him. Relationships are about give and take though IMO, you could explain why you don't like the idea but then try it the once? If you don't like it then at least you've warned him beforehand and you can tell him you're not really keen to do it again? It can be quite enjoyable for both parties and quite a big turn on.

Spoiler

Do NOT use toothpaste, it will burn his dick. (Don't ask how I know)

Reply 5

Truflais

20

Original post by MattyR2895

Do NOT use toothpaste, it will burn his dick. (Don't ask how I know)

Well, yeah, if she ate A LOT it would burn, but a tiny bit shouldn't :no:

Failing that, some mints etc beforehand.

Reply 6

TenOfThem

18

Original post by Anonymous

I've just started having sex with my new boyfriend and the other day he asked me for a BJ and without any hesitation I said no. I don't know what it is but I find the whole concept weird and dare I say it cringe. this is my first sexual relationship and I don't know whether it's wise for me to have the chat with him about this. Before you jump on the bandwagon and say I clearly don't love him otherwise I'd like to please him, I do love him but I physically can't bring myself to go down there. Isn't it a little bit embarrassing ladies? I don't know. I find this all very daunting. also the thought of having cum in my mouth makes me feel sick.

Some girls do, some girls don't

I don't and have never found this to be an issue

I guess if I had been in a relationship where this was a deal maker for him then he would not have been someone that was right for me

Reply 7

kka25

18

Original post by MattyR2895

Do NOT use toothpaste, it will burn his dick. (Don't ask how I know)

Experience?

:woo:

Reply 8

joker12345

19

I think it's fine not to like it and tbh when you think about it, putting your mouth on someone's genitals sounds pretty gross, considering we would wash our hands immediately after contact with genitals.
Could be worth trying once, you may not mind it and at least you've made an effort for him!

Reply 9

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Anonymous

I've just started having sex with my new boyfriend and the other day he asked me for a BJ and without any hesitation I said no. I don't know what it is but I find the whole concept weird and dare I say it cringe. this is my first sexual relationship and I don't know whether it's wise for me to have the chat with him about this. Before you jump on the bandwagon and say I clearly don't love him otherwise I'd like to please him, I do love him but I physically can't bring myself to go down there. Isn't it a little bit embarrassing ladies? I don't know. I find this all very daunting. also the thought of having cum in my mouth makes me feel sick.

Sexual norms are interesting. A couple of generations ago oral sex was considered very kinky, and most women would not do it. Now it's considered very prudish to not do it.

My point is that there's nothing wrong with not wanting to perform certain sexual acts, what is considered "normal" sexual practise varies greatly.

You should talk with him about it. It isn't like he isn't going to notice you aren't doing it. Just say you don't feel comfortable doing it yet, and he should be ok with that. It sounds like you just aren't ready. That's fine, feeling ready to have sex doesn't mean you're ready for anything sexual. Sexual experimentation is great, but you should do it slowly, with someone you trust.

A lot of girls don't let a guy finish in their mouths.

Original post by joker12345

I think it's fine not to like it and tbh when you think about it, putting your mouth on someone's genitals sounds pretty gross, considering we would wash our hands immediately after contact with genitals.
Could be worth trying once, you may not mind it and at least you've made an effort for him!

By that logic, surely putting your genitals in someone else's genitals is pretty gross?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 10

garfeeled

16

Original post by Anonymous

I've just started having sex with my new boyfriend and the other day he asked me for a BJ and without any hesitation I said no. I don't know what it is but I find the whole concept weird and dare I say it cringe. this is my first sexual relationship and I don't know whether it's wise for me to have the chat with him about this. Before you jump on the bandwagon and say I clearly don't love him otherwise I'd like to please him, I do love him but I physically can't bring myself to go down there. Isn't it a little bit embarrassing ladies? I don't know. I find this all very daunting. also the thought of having cum in my mouth makes me feel sick.

if you dont like the idea of it then you dont like the idea. Best thing to do is explain why to him.

Personal i dont find it embarrassing and i actively enjoy it. But everyone has preferences. I doesn't mean you dont love him.

Reply 11

gr8wizard10

21

girls who giv it are dirty imo, so i wudnt do it

Reply 12

sdotd

17

i guess you should try it at least once to see if you like it or not

Reply 13

CJKay

19

They're overrated anyway IMO, but this seems to be a point of contention amongst men, so he could feel much differently.

Reply 14

Maid Marian

20

Just tell him you're not ready and need some time. Could be worth giving it a try though, you never know, might not be as bad as you think :dontknow:

Reply 15

doodle_333

19

it might be worth talking to him so he doesn't keep asking and making you feel pressured but try and keep an open mind, it's fine not to want to do it right now, you're inexperienced and might come round to the idea and feel more confident, it's fine not to want to do it ever as well, some people just don't like it

you can also discuss boundaries, for example, he doesn't have to cum in your mouth or you could just try it for a minute, you could try doing it in the shower so you don't feel so grossed out... I'd personally say it's worth trying at some point because it isn't something that sounds enjoyable but it can be very much so - but don't do it until you feel ready to because if you have a bad experience it will put you off for good

Reply 16

Zarek

21

This is a take it or leave matter for me and to be honest I can appreciate a girls reservations. Sex is much better but it can be quite naughty fun is your partner is enthusiastic about it.

Reply 17

username1177050

20

Bjs are a must in a relationship.they are more important than intercourse itself

Reply 18

McMicheal

Original post by Anonymous

I've just started having sex with my new boyfriend and the other day he asked me for a BJ and without any hesitation I said no. I don't know what it is but I find the whole concept weird and dare I say it cringe. this is my first sexual relationship and I don't know whether it's wise for me to have the chat with him about this. Before you jump on the bandwagon and say I clearly don't love him otherwise I'd like to please him, I do love him but I physically can't bring myself to go down there. Isn't it a little bit embarrassing ladies? I don't know. I find this all very daunting. also the thought of having cum in my mouth makes me feel sick.

It feels really good.
Not getting one is like knowing there's a cake in the fridge and it's the bomb, but you can't have any.

I think you should talk with him about it, say you haven't done this before, so you're unsure what to do.

You could try it at least a couple of times, experiment in your sex life, live a little. If you don't want to swallow then don't, let him finish elsewhere like on your boobs or something. If you get some ice-cream on it, it tastes like ice-cream then, surprise I know. Plus the cold sensation combined with a bj is awesome for the receiver.

Most importantly, don't give BJ's if you don't feel enthusiastic about it, it's a real downer when someone is doing it and it looks clearly like she's not into it. I'd rather not have a BJ then.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 19

McMicheal

Original post by MattyR2895

Do NOT use toothpaste, it will burn his dick. (Don't ask how I know)

You shouldn't use toothpaste on someone's dick, because then it burns too much (such cold burn feeling).

Also you shouldn't give blowjobs if you just ate something really spicy! It will burn as well. (hot burn feeling)

Lastly, you should never ****ing ever! put some essential oils on someone's dick, like eucalyptus. It burns cold and you can't wash it off quickly, worst experience ever.

Guys how important is a BJ?

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