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Why do people disrespect single mothers? *RANT*
I was reading a few posts on the thread titled 'would you ever be with a single mother' and some of the posts on there sickened me. A few of the seemingly stupid posters said single mothers are worthless and some even went as far as saying they're only good for sleeping with and nothing else. One even 'advised' the females on tsr to 'avoid' becoming a single mother or our life will be crap and nobody will want us. Seriously, how old are you people? You can't just avoid being a single mother. Nobody plans to be a single parent. There are so many unforseeable situations which force them to raise their kids alone (like their partner passing away or cheating etc.). As a person who was raised by a single mum, I know the amount of sacrifices they need to make and they don't receive nearly the amount of respect they deserve from society 
anyway thats all I have to say. Feel free to discuss this post
anyway thats all I have to say. Feel free to discuss this post
(edited 9 years ago)
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Original post by Secretnerd123
I was reading a few posts on the thread titled 'would you ever be with a single mother' and some of the posts on there sickened me. A few of the seemingly stupid posters said single mothers are worthless and some even went as far as saying they're only good for sleeping with and nothing else. One even 'advised' the females on tsr to 'avoid' becoming a single mother or our life will be crap and nobody will want us. Seriously, how old are you people? You can't just avoid being a single mother. Nobody plans to be a single parent. There are so many unforseeable situations which force them to raise their kids alone (like their partner passing away or cheating etc.). As a person who was raised by a single mum, I know the amount of sacrifices they need to make and they don't receive nearly the amount of respect they deserve from society
anyway thats all I have to say. Feel free to discuss this post
anyway thats all I have to say. Feel free to discuss this post
Not nearly old enough to know what they'll want when they're actual adults.
There are plenty if men who are willing to stick around and take care of good women but they choose the *******s instead of the good ones so they deserve whatever comes to them. I'm talking about the ones who's partner has left them. If their partner passed away ten that's a different thing.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I was raised by a single mum too and I wouldn't have had it any other way 
, my father.. per se.. left my mum for another woman, whom he then proceeded to leave for another woman. I wouldn't ever want someone like that in my life so I'm glad my mum raised me single-handedly. And in recent years she's settled down with the first man she's really been with since she had me and she couldn't be happier.
Anyone who slates single mothers is being a fool, they have to work harder than anyone to maintain their family.
Edit; oh and the same is to be said of single dads, don't forget them!
, my father.. per se.. left my mum for another woman, whom he then proceeded to leave for another woman. I wouldn't ever want someone like that in my life so I'm glad my mum raised me single-handedly. And in recent years she's settled down with the first man she's really been with since she had me and she couldn't be happier.Anyone who slates single mothers is being a fool, they have to work harder than anyone to maintain their family.
Edit; oh and the same is to be said of single dads, don't forget them!
Original post by blackened_sky
I was raised by a single mum too and I wouldn't have had it any other way , my father.. per se.. left my mum for another woman, whom he then proceeded to leave for another woman. I wouldn't ever want someone like that in my life so I'm glad my mum raised me single-handedly. And in recent years she's settled down with the first man she's really been with since she had me and she couldn't be happier.
Anyone who slates single mothers is being a fool, they have to work harder than anyone to maintain their family.
Edit; oh and the same is to be said of single dads, don't forget them!
, my father.. per se.. left my mum for another woman, whom he then proceeded to leave for another woman. I wouldn't ever want someone like that in my life so I'm glad my mum raised me single-handedly. And in recent years she's settled down with the first man she's really been with since she had me and she couldn't be happier.Anyone who slates single mothers is being a fool, they have to work harder than anyone to maintain their family.
Edit; oh and the same is to be said of single dads, don't forget them!
Single mothers FTW!
Btw the woman your dad had an affair with whilst he was with your mum deseved what she got. What made her think there wasn't a possibility he wouldn't cheat on her too
Original post by Viva Emptiness
Not nearly old enough to know what they'll want when they're actual adults.
Yeahh
Original post by Secretnerd123
Single mothers FTW!
Btw the woman your dad had an affair with whilst he was with your mum deseved what she got. What made her think there wasn't a possibility he wouldn't cheat on her too
Btw the woman your dad had an affair with whilst he was with your mum deseved what she got. What made her think there wasn't a possibility he wouldn't cheat on her too
I wouldn't say she deserved what she got. I think he left my mum and then went to be with her, (not sure if he cheated beforehand) and I think he left her with his kids too.
I could never do that to my kids, just leaving your children and not wanting to look after them/be in their lives? It astounds me. I think if he ever did try to contact me now, I'd just tell him to **** off
Women if you want to survive, make sure you stay close to your man.
I agree with you secretnerd123. Regrettably, some people only give the compassion that they want to in this life and that sometimes says more about that person that it does about any situation that they think they have the right to judge and that they think they have all the relevant facts to judge.
If having 2 parents causes some people to grow up to have such intolerance, then it goes to show that it's not necessarily the numbers, it's the quality.
Unfortunately, when some people have such an attitude, it means that if the person on the receiving end of it is a naturally loving person, life can quickly become cruel and unreal feeling. If you don't feel accepted by society - as the Tories once tried to demonise single mothers ('I've got a little list') - then any attempts to be accepted by society will make you feel both hopelessly servile and also that it's not even a society that has a moral conscience worth joining. Demonising situations without taking in to account individual circumstances is wrong.
If having 2 parents causes some people to grow up to have such intolerance, then it goes to show that it's not necessarily the numbers, it's the quality.
Unfortunately, when some people have such an attitude, it means that if the person on the receiving end of it is a naturally loving person, life can quickly become cruel and unreal feeling. If you don't feel accepted by society - as the Tories once tried to demonise single mothers ('I've got a little list') - then any attempts to be accepted by society will make you feel both hopelessly servile and also that it's not even a society that has a moral conscience worth joining. Demonising situations without taking in to account individual circumstances is wrong.
There's a very informative piece on this by Shawn James. You can read the full thing here. http://shawnsjames.blogspot.in/2013/04/ways-single-mothers-destroy-their-sons.html I've copypasted some bits here. Enjoy!
The most toxic environment for a boy growing up is a single mother household. I can tell readers from personal experience that boys don’t get all their needs met in a single parent household. Many of the lessons they learn in that hostile territory growing up make them into lost, confused men with no defined sense of identity.
How does a single mother destroy her son? Let me count the ways:
Speaking negatively about their father.
Saying negative things about men.
Teaching their sons to disrespect their fathers’ authority.
Teaching their sons to disrespect male authority and male authority figures.
Projecting anger at the father onto the son.
Not allowing their father to see them.
Bringing in substitutes for a father.
Coddling their sons.
Inconsistent discipline.
Teaching boys to be emotional.
Not teaching their sons what boundaries are.
Not teaching their sons coping skills.
Establishing a co-dependent relationship.
Smothering.
Bullying
Trying to run his life
Thinking she can raise a man be a man on her terms.
Trying to turn their sons into “Perfect” people.
Not encouraging them or supporting them in their quest to become independent men.
Not encouraging boys to embrace their masculinity.
Not encouraging boys to embrace their sexuality.
Misleading boys about Male/female relationships.
Sabotaging his relationships with women.
The most toxic environment for a boy growing up is a single mother household. I can tell readers from personal experience that boys don’t get all their needs met in a single parent household. Many of the lessons they learn in that hostile territory growing up make them into lost, confused men with no defined sense of identity.
How does a single mother destroy her son? Let me count the ways:
Speaking negatively about their father.
Saying negative things about men.
Teaching their sons to disrespect their fathers’ authority.
Teaching their sons to disrespect male authority and male authority figures.
Projecting anger at the father onto the son.
Not allowing their father to see them.
Bringing in substitutes for a father.
Coddling their sons.
Inconsistent discipline.
Teaching boys to be emotional.
Not teaching their sons what boundaries are.
Not teaching their sons coping skills.
Establishing a co-dependent relationship.
Smothering.
Bullying
Trying to run his life
Thinking she can raise a man be a man on her terms.
Trying to turn their sons into “Perfect” people.
Not encouraging them or supporting them in their quest to become independent men.
Not encouraging boys to embrace their masculinity.
Not encouraging boys to embrace their sexuality.
Misleading boys about Male/female relationships.
Sabotaging his relationships with women.
Was he young?
People make mistakes. I think you should just forgive him. Life is too short.
People make mistakes. I think you should just forgive him. Life is too short.
Original post by blackened_sky
I wouldn't say she deserved what she got. I think he left my mum and then went to be with her, (not sure if he cheated beforehand) and I think he left her with his kids too.
I could never do that to my kids, just leaving your children and not wanting to look after them/be in their lives? It astounds me. I think if he ever did try to contact me now, I'd just tell him to **** off
I could never do that to my kids, just leaving your children and not wanting to look after them/be in their lives? It astounds me. I think if he ever did try to contact me now, I'd just tell him to **** off
Original post by Secretnerd123
Was he young?
People make mistakes. I think you should just forgive him. Life is too short.
People make mistakes. I think you should just forgive him. Life is too short.
Not at all, my mum was 21 when she had me, and he's 10-15 years older than her, so he would have been over 30. If it was a mistake he wouldn't have done it to another woman after that. I get what you're saying but I've never had the desire to know him, never even been slightly interested in seeking him out, the last 18 years of my life have been great without him
Original post by Arkasia
With the dislike of single mothers, it's not the mother that some people dislike, it's the kid. Some people don't want the extra baggage that comes with a child.
Well what are the mothers supposed to do? Just abandon their kids to be with their man?
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
Original post by Secretnerd123
Well what are the mothers supposed to do? Just abandon their kids to be with their man?
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
No, but they have to realize that they can't pick the man they like and force an extra human being on them.
Original post by Secretnerd123
Well what are the mothers supposed to do? Just abandon their kids to be with their man?
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
10 kids is a massive anaphrodisiac.
I'm only 22, not mature enough and not willing enough to raise a kid. I'm still trying to sort my own life out. Sorry but I don't want the responsibility of a child.
That said I don't look down on single mothers at all. Or single fathers.
Original post by Secretnerd123
I was reading a few posts on the thread titled 'would you ever be with a single mother' and some of the posts on there sickened me. A few of the seemingly stupid posters said single mothers are worthless and some even went as far as saying they're only good for sleeping with and nothing else. One even 'advised' the females on tsr to 'avoid' becoming a single mother or our life will be crap and nobody will want us. Seriously, how old are you people? You can't just avoid being a single mother. Nobody plans to be a single parent. There are so many unforseeable situations which force them to raise their kids alone (like their partner passing away or cheating etc.). As a person who was raised by a single mum, I know the amount of sacrifices they need to make and they don't receive nearly the amount of respect they deserve from society
anyway thats all I have to say. Feel free to discuss this post
anyway thats all I have to say. Feel free to discuss this post
You can't force men to do anything more than sleeping with single mothers if they don't want to. Taking on another man's child is an enormous commitment and it is not surprising that the general consensus might be to keep away.
And if you can't avoid becoming a single mother, you also can't avoid accidentally fathering a child with a woman you can't stay with. But you still have no say over abortion, limited chance of fair custody rights, and you have to pay child support without accountability for what the money is spent on. So men are badly mistreated when families split as well, and by the law, not just society. They may be better able to get another girlfriend, but on just about every other measure they come off worse.
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
10 kids is a massive anaphrodisiac.
I'm sure you got the point
I'm only 22, not mature enough and not willing enough to raise a kid. I'm still trying to sort my own life out. Sorry but I don't want the responsibility of a child.
That said I don't look down on single mothers at all. Or single fathers.
That said I don't look down on single mothers at all. Or single fathers.
Well the thread is about disrespecting single mothers and you said you don't which is good. Nobody is asking you to take care of a kid
Original post by Secretnerd123
Well what are the mothers supposed to do? Just abandon their kids to be with their man?
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
If a guy truly loves you, he will want you whether you're single or have 10 kids. It wouldn't make a difference to him IMO
No, they're supposed to grow up and realise that you can't just pick whoever you want and expect them to like you back. Men learn that keenly as teenagers, women don't so much. Having a kid narrows the pool of potential suitors.
If a guy truly loves you, what you say is true, but of course you can expect much fewer guys willing to come to love you.
Because they never had a male role model to show them how to treat women right. Having said that, my dad is a Muslim so I can't say **** about role models showing you how to treat women correctly 
"According to the Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, children from single-parent families account for 63 percent of all youth suicides, 70 percent of all teenage pregnancies, 71 percent of all adolescent chemical/substance abuse, 80 percent of all prison inmates, and 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children.
"It found that children brought up in single-mother homes ‘are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.’"
Should add these are from the US but even so.
(Sauce: http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2009/04/16/ann-coulters-statistics-on-single-motherhood-and-the-suffering-it-causes/)
"It found that children brought up in single-mother homes ‘are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.’"
Should add these are from the US but even so.
(Sauce: http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2009/04/16/ann-coulters-statistics-on-single-motherhood-and-the-suffering-it-causes/)
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