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Why do girls with boyfriends sometimes lead on single guys?

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1. Love the attention
2. Don't want to lose it by stating their relationship status
3. Want a backup boyfriend
4. Are open to getting naughty with you
5. Love to tease guys as it makes them feel special
6. Get off on seducing a guy and leaving him hanging as he comes back for more = more attention for the girl
7. May genuinely not know they are leading someone on and just being friendly

Option 7 is only for the few nice genuine girls you find though.
This also apples to bad guys too.

Reply 21

Joan5626

Original post by pshah2

Totally understand that. Not every girl is like this. I have plenty of nice female friends like yourself who are fun. With this one though, she has been flirting in her banter, and also has put her feet on my crotch when sitting down sometimes. Also, I distinctly felt her move her toes a little whilst she did this. It was in public, so I didn't know what to do! She has also suggestively sucked her finger at me at breakfast from the other end of the table. And some of her texts, like 'hey sexy one' have got me confused. She has never mentioned a bf. I don't envisage her as a potential girlfriend, but her flirting and touching have got me aroused. I mean I keep thinking of her feet and her mouth.

What to do? Help!! Also why would she do this? I also just found out from a third party which I later confirmed with this girl's friends that she already has a long distance bf.

There is one other good reason why some girls who aren't intentionally leading you on, do this. For example, my sister is really close with some guy friends and she calls them sexy and stuff like that. Maybe you guys are really good friends and she wants you to feel good about yourself?

Either that, or she misses her long distance boyfriend, and you are just her temporary "plaything", as bad as that may sound.

I suppose since you've never objected to what she does around you, she assumes that you're ok with it. I guess your best bet is to talk to her gently about it, and/or tell her to stop (if it really makes you uncomfortable). Or you could make it clear in certain ways like your actions and the way you speak and text, that you two are just friends, nothing more.

(I've realized that a lot of people take your actions seriously. Like the time that I hugged a boy, who was only my friend, and he totally got the wrong idea out of it, thinking that I wanted to be his girl. But I'm just a hugger :h:

)

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 22

TurndownforWha

Original post by rahulchopra30

1. They love the attention.
2. They are teasers - just love to tease guys as they get off on it.
3. To have a backup guy.
4. To potentially cheat.
5. They love to control men.

Or maybe 'they' just are being friendly and polite? Wtf? People can't even smile at eachother nowadays because straight away it's flirting apparently. Da***. Grow up!

Reply 23

Rum Ham

I think sometimes its because when you have been in a relationship for so long, sometimes you take each other for granted and fail to see the little things in each other but other people eyeing you up can notice them and girls in that state do like to be reminded of their good points and like the attention.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 24

MancBoy

The most likely reason is for the attention. Most girls would do anything for some male atrention and self validation.

This is why you see women who are married going out clubbing mainly to boost their egos and to show they still 'have it'.

The other reason is to monkey branch I.e keeping other guys as a backup just in case anything goes wrong.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 25

pshah2

Original post by Spock's Socks

Okay. Fair enough, is it boredom then?

Original post by MancBoy

Yes I've seen a lot of people mention this attention phenomenon. It's a shame. Just messing around with the guy's feelings.

Backup is so unfair to the guy. What to do if you are in this situation?

Reply 26

Rum Ham

Original post by pshah2

Okay. Fair enough, is it boredom then?

Yes I've seen a lot of people mention this attention phenomenon. It's a shame. Just messing around with the guy's feelings.

Backup is so unfair to the guy. What to do if you are in this situation?

Yeah I imagine one of the biggest reasons some taken girls lead on other guys is because they are bored of their current relationship. There's likely to be lots of other reasons too.

Reply 27

MancBoy

Original post by pshah2

I wouldnt take it to heart. Just forget her and pursue other girls. Life's too short to be wasting time with one girl.

Reply 28

Daniellejo.

Why do guys sometimes get the wrong impression?

I get told I'm flirty without even realising it. I mean the other week I was told that the way I was standing was trying to be sexy, I was just leaning against the door!

Reply 29

Jebedee

2 reasons, she wants attention and she's sizing up other men as a replacement for her current boyfriend without having to leave him first and risk being single for any amount of time. But if you have any sense you'll either just persue her long enough to have sex and leave, or just leave her alone altogether due to how she's treating her current boyfriend.

Monkeys and branches.

Reply 30

pshah2

Original post by Spock's Socks

Yeah I imagine one of the biggest reasons some taken girls lead on other guys is because they are bored of their current relationship. There's likely to be lots of other reasons too.

Okay yeah. I just feel a little confused and led on. I mean the girl has a boyfriend. I know another who was flirting and she was engaged!

Original post by MancBoy

I wouldnt take it to heart. Just forget her and pursue other girls. Life's too short to be wasting time with one girl.

Too true. Trouble is there seem to be a few girls who are taken and flirt and lead you on. How to tell who is taken? How to tell who is genuinely interested in you and not just flirting with you for kicks or for attention?

Original post by Daniellejo.

Haha yeah that's a bit too far. But I mean some girls seem to be quite flirty, inviting just you to things and yet are taken or even engaged! I feel like I've been led on and it's hit my confidence talking to any woman now.

Original post by Jebedee

Seems a bit unfair for the guy. So the girl gets to be in a relationship and mess about?!! How do you advise to meet women and tell whether they are genuinely nice girls who are interested in you, and not just getting kicks from leading you on.

Reply 31

Jebedee

Original post by pshah2

I just try and sleep with them as quick as I possibly can, plan situations where it's likely to happen. If she keeps putting herself in those situations but can hold off for a few weeks or even a month. You've got a good one. If she screws you too soon then she's too susceptible to temptation, and not girlfriend material.

All my girlfriends made me wait, that's why they were girlfriends and not just a short but sweet memory.

Reply 32

pshah2

Original post by MancBoy

I wouldnt take it to heart. Just forget her and pursue other girls. Life's too short to be wasting time with one girl.

Yes very very true. Just how do you know which girls are single and not leading you on?

Original post by Spock's Socks

Yeah I imagine one of the biggest reasons some taken girls lead on other guys is because they are bored of their current relationship. There's likely to be lots of other reasons too.

I guess so. I just feel that sometimes I'm led on. I mean one girl (who is now my friend) told me very quickly and subtly about her boyfriend. I knew and so backed off on the flirting. We became friends. There is another though, who seemed to respond to my flirtations and never told me she had a boyfriend who she was very serious with, in fact she was engaged!! So my confidence has been hit as I don't know if the girl who I seem to be hitting it off with, is secretly already married or taken!

Are some girls just liking attention? Seems a little harsh to lead a guy on. I mean if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't openly flirt with a girl to the point of setting up a meet without letting her know my status.

Original post by Jebedee

You've got a good one. If she screws you too soon then she's too susceptible to temptation, and not girlfriend material.

I suppose so. I mean I'm just looking to date first of all. I just feel that some girls you meet aren't even single, but are leading you on in conversation.

Reply 33

flatmatetrouble

Original post by pshah2

First of all, disclosure I have female friends and I don't hit on all girls.

I met a girl at uni who I thought was very pretty, seemed to get on with in conversation. In fact, she seemed fairly flirty too. She's on a different course to me. She seemed very friendly with lots of people on her course and her circle seemed to include several guys and girls. She used to laugh and smile with me a lot. In fairness I never asked her out or asked about a bf, but then way later on, I found out from someone else that she has a boyfriend. Whaaat? I mean as well as being friendly, I was pretty forward with compliments about her, so I'm not sure why she didn't bring it up. In fact, from what I heard things are serious and marriage is possibly on the cards!

I know there is no "taken" ring on every girl who isn't single, but I felt she was leading me on a bit! I feel uncomfortable now as I wasn't trying to hit on a girl who has a boyfriend.

Does this happen often?!

Let me rephrase this for you. A girl from another course, who is really friendly with a lot of people, was friendly towards you. Later you found out she has a boyfriend.

Let me ask you a more appropriate quesiton, why do you think that girls being friendly and nice is them leading you on?

:rolleyes:

Reply 34

noobynoo

It annoys me when girls with boyfriends go to clubs and then dance with you all night and act all flirty but then you make a move and they're like "oh, I have a boyfriend". (First time this happened I thought it was a lie but turned out it was true.) Don't they realise that while you're dancing with this girl who all ready has a boyfriend they're are lots of single girls in the club who are now really lonely because I am tied up with this charade?

:cool:

These girls just want attention. It is mean. :frown:

So my message to girls is: don't flirt with guys if you have a boyfriend because it's unfair on all the other girls. :smile:

Reply 35

flatmatetrouble

Original post by noobynoo

These girls just want attention. It is mean. :frown:

So my message to girls is: don't flirt with guys if you have a boyfriend because it's unfair on all the other girls. :smile:

Let me rephrase this for you; It annoys me when girls with boyfriends go to clubs to have fun and dance (which is the activity done most in clubs) with me. When I express an interest in them, they tell me honestly that they have a boyfriend. This is unfair, they should have known that I wanted to have sex with them from the start, why can't they read my mind? :frown:

Reply 36

Norin

Some say i do that but i an just the flirty type that gets along with most, would never do that if was currently going out with somebody.

Reply 37

kunoichi

Original post by Joan5626

In all honesty, girls like it when guys pay them compliments. (this is coming from a girl just so you know) But just because we smile a lot around you, laugh at your jokes, pay you compliments and act polite around you, doesnt mean that we're leading you on. Some of us are just really nice and friendly ok? Notice I said "some".

This

It's called being nice. I give both my male and female friends compliments, laugh at their jokes etc, thats how friendship works....

guys, would you prefer it if we were all rude and ignored you? Because thats the attitude im feeling here.

Reply 38

kunoichi

Original post by arson_fire

There is only one reason why guys go to clubs and dance with girls - and it`s not to have fun....... Pretending otherwise is just naive.

All my guy mates go to have fun with their mates, I dont think ive ever seen one even try to pick up a girl in a club actually.

You cant really talk to people in a club and they arent the type of people interested in one night stands

Reply 39

flatmatetrouble

Original post by arson_fire

There is only one reason why guys go to clubs and dance with girls - and it`s not to have fun....... Pretending otherwise is just naive.

I'm sorry that no one cares about your boner, but I doubt many women are going to let it get in the way of them having fun. If you don't like girls going to clubs and dancing, because you see it as leading you on, then that's your problem.