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Why do girls with boyfriends sometimes lead on single guys?

OP

Let me rephrase this for you. A girl from another course, who is really friendly with a lot of people, was friendly towards you. Later you found out she has a boyfriend.

Let me ask you a more appropriate quesiton, why do you think that girls being friendly and nice is them leading you on?

:rolleyes:

She seemed only friendly with guys to be fair. Only 2 girls and an escort of around 5 guys on her course. It turns out she was actually engaged. I just feel guilty for hitting on her, because if she told me she was engaged, I wouldn't have made the moves on her. I never knew that. What do you think?

Second scenario, I like a girl on the same course as 4 of my friends, one a guy and the others are girls. The guy says this girl is single and popular. He doesn't know her as he is in the younger year. He thinks she would be a good match for me as do 2 of the other girls in a conversation. However, none of these 3 are very sociable and follow the 4th girl who is dominant. She has a long distance boyfriend, but flirts with people and loves attention. She flirts with me and has rubbed her feet on me, touched my chest and constantly asks me to come and see her when there is no one else about. She touches my arm and sits next to me whenever she can.

I am talking with all of them about meeting girls. The conversation continues for 10 minutes happily and I bring up the girl I like on their course. 3 agree she is a nice girl to meet and would be a 'match'. Suddenly, the 4th girl dismisses it, saying she wouldn't be my type and despite encouraging the conversation earlier, swiftly changes it as fast as she could.

Is she jealous of crush? Is she leading me on with her moves even though she is taken? Btw she hasn't explicitly told me she has a boyfriend, but touches me inappropriately in any case.

Reply 41

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by kunoichi

All my guy mates go to have fun with their mates, I dont think ive ever seen one even try to pick up a girl in a club actually.

You cant really talk to people in a club and they arent the type of people interested in one night stands

Yeah I don't think you go to clubs to meet people. It's way too loud. It's a place to have fun with your existing friends and dance the night away when you're tipsy.

My queston was more about if you meet a girl and chat to her and she flirts with you without telling you she is taken. Or alternatively she is taken and initiates flirtatious action and leads you on and occasionally stops you from flirting with other single girls.

Not all girls do this. One of my latest friends, I wasn't flirting with, but I think she thought so because she brought up her boyfriend casually and I respected the way she handled that. It took the pressure of me too because I thought she thought I was hitting on her.

Why do some girls not tell you they are taken?

Reply 42

Jebedee

17

Original post by pshah2

Why do some girls not tell you they are taken?

Because they're currently in the market for an upgrade. The second they mention having a boyfriend is the second you know that you screwed up the interaction somewhere along the line.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 43

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by Jebedee

Because they're currently in the market for an upgrade. The second they mention having a boyfriend is the second you know that you screwed up the interaction somewhere along the line.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Okay so I suppose I should take this example as a compliment? I met a girl who has never mentioned being taken. She is insanely pretty. I've been chatting to her, flirting and she laughs and seems to like it. She suggested a meet for coffee. Thing is she responded to texts, but seems to have stopped for some reason.

I fancy her. But yesterday I found out from a friend on her course that she is engaged!! She never told me though and there is no ring on her finger. What does this mean? I feel a little guilty as I have been flirting with her and masturbating to her in private!

Original post by flatmatetrouble

I'm sorry that no one cares about your boner, but I doubt many women are going to let it get in the way of them having fun. If you don't like girls going to clubs and dancing, because you see it as leading you on, then that's your problem.

Original post by arson_fire

Eh?! Didn`t say I didn`t like it. If a guy starts spending time dancing and talking with a girl in a club then it`s almost certain he wants in her pants. Don`t act all surprised when he makes a move. If you don`t want him to make a move or you have a bf then perhaps slip that into conversation and give him the chance to go elsewhere if he`s just looking for sex.

Reply 44

Eboracum

18

Happened to me as well at university. I was engaging in "wild sexual flirting" with this lovely girl. On the day I was set to ask her out I found out she had a boyfriend. Girls with boyfriends shouldn't talk/joke about sex related topics with other males, very confusing situation and if I was the bf I'd be horrified.

Reply 45

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by Eboracum

Happened to me as well at university. I was engaging in "wild sexual flirting" with this lovely girl. On the day I was set to ask her out I found out she had a boyfriend. Girls with boyfriends shouldn't talk/joke about sex related topics with other males, very confusing situation and if I was the bf I'd be horrified.

I agree. That's unlucky man. I mean I know friends who have told me earlier on subtly that they had a bf so it didn't become awkward. But I have also been in your situation and it is so wrong and unfair. Why don't they tell us?!

For example, I was flirting with a lovely pretty girl on another course for months. She flirted back and texted back. I was getting ready to ask her out as now I'm in the same building I've begun to see her more often. Then, suddenly I found out from a friend on her course, that she has been engaged for 9 months!!

What am I to do? I feel terribly guilty for my flirtations. I also fapped to her on a regular basis. Was I in the wrong? Was she in the wrong?

What is going on?

Reply 46

Eboracum

18

Original post by pshah2

I agree. That's unlucky man. I mean I know friends who have told me earlier on subtly that they had a bf so it didn't become awkward. But I have also been in your situation and it is so wrong and unfair. Why don't they tell us?!

For example, I was flirting with a lovely pretty girl on another course for months. She flirted back and texted back. I was getting ready to ask her out as now I'm in the same building I've begun to see her more often. Then, suddenly I found out from a friend on her course, that she has been engaged for 9 months!!

What am I to do? I feel terribly guilty for my flirtations. I also fapped to her on a regular basis. Was I in the wrong? Was she in the wrong?

What is going on?

Fair play man, admire your honesty as well. This is another reason I'm staunchly opposed to this extreme strand of 'Feminism' coming out of universities.

I mean the evolutionary aspects of being male is you look for a partner. If you're single, pretty much all attractive women are going to be considered for that position, they can't be ruled out unless they are in a relationship or unless you get to know them better and find the personality doesn't match the looks. So for them to lead people on is very unfair. You certainly were not in the wrong based on this. She led you on, and then hung you out to dry. Women have it so much easier than males when it comes to relationships. Women should let men know very early. Even if something simple as when you ask them what their plans are for the weekend, a simple use of the word boyfriend would cut it.

I think in all honesty, if a woman leads you on, she is probably not satisfied for whatever reason in her current relationship, but is too frightened, again, for whatever reason to take the big step of ending it.

Reply 47

noobynoo

6

Original post by flatmatetrouble

Let me rephrase this for you; It annoys me when girls with boyfriends go to clubs to have fun and dance (which is the activity done most in clubs) with me. When I express an interest in them, they tell me honestly that they have a boyfriend. This is unfair, they should have known that I wanted to have sex with them from the start, why can't they read my mind? :frown:

No. You rephrased wrongly. Girls with boyfriends should not try and dance with boys in clubs because they KNOW that boys in clubs are go there to dance with single girls. Girls with boyfriends should stick to dancing with their girlfriends and shouldn't be greedy!

You can't have your cake and eat it!

Also, I bet you'd be pretty pissed off if your boyfriend was going to clubs and dancing with single girls.

Reply 48

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by Eboracum

Fair play man, admire your honesty as well. This is another reason I'm staunchly opposed to this extreme strand of 'Feminism' coming out of universities.

I mean the evolutionary aspects of being male is you look for a partner. If you're single, pretty much all attractive women are going to be considered for that position, they can't be ruled out unless they are in a relationship or unless you get to know them better and find the personality doesn't match the looks. So for them to lead people on is very unfair. You certainly were not in the wrong based on this. She led you on, and then hung you out to dry. Women have it so much easier than males when it comes to relationships. Women should let men know very early. Even if something simple as when you ask them what their plans are for the weekend, a simple use of the word boyfriend would cut it.

I think in all honesty, if a woman leads you on, she is probably not satisfied for whatever reason in her current relationship, but is too frightened, again, for whatever reason to take the big step of ending it.

Good points. I agree just mention the word boyfriend or fiance for goodness sake!

In my instance I feel as if I did something wrong. Did I? I mean I only hit on her because I thought she was single. I feel like she led me on.

I had been masturbating to her as well. I feel confused and guilty.

Reply 49

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by noobynoo

No. You rephrased wrongly. Girls with boyfriends should not try and dance with boys in clubs because they KNOW that boys in clubs are go there to dance with single girls. Girls with boyfriends should stick to dancing with their girlfriends and shouldn't be greedy!

You can't have your cake and eat it!

Also, I bet you'd be pretty pissed off if your boyfriend was going to clubs and dancing with single girls.

If an engaged woman flirts back with you and texts you and stuff, without telling you she is engaged, is that leading someone on?

I found out from someone else this girl is engaged and has been for a year. I've been fapping to her as well and now feel guilty that I had been (unknowingly) hitting on a taken woman. Is me fapping to her wrong?

Reply 50

flatmatetrouble

5

Original post by noobynoo

No. You rephrased wrongly. Girls with boyfriends should not try and dance with boys in clubs because they KNOW that boys in clubs are go there to dance with single girls. Girls with boyfriends should stick to dancing with their girlfriends and shouldn't be greedy!

You can't have your cake and eat it!

Also, I bet you'd be pretty pissed off if your boyfriend was going to clubs and dancing with single girls.

Let me rephrase this for you. Girls with boyfriends should always be aware of other men who may or may not want to sleep with them. Girls with boyfriends should have the courtesy to tell all men that they dance with/ meet at clubs that they have a boyfriend. If girls with boyfriends don't think about these random men that they don't even know, then they are greedy bitches. From this moment onwards I will always introduce myself to men by saying "Hi, my name is flatmatetrouble, I have a boyfriend!" because obviously that's the most pertinent and interesting thing about me.

Side note: I'm fine with my boyfriend going out, unlike most I realise that there's nothing really sinister about dancing and having fun.

Reply 51

Anonymous #1

I don't care if someone is in a relationship, if i like someone i pursue them as long as the show an interest.

Reply 52

Zarek

21

Flirting doesn't stop dead when you're in a relationship generally.

Reply 53

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by Anonymous

I don't care if someone is in a relationship, if i like someone i pursue them as long as the show an interest.

I would pursue someone, but if they're taken, I would feel uncomfortable doing that. I would respect that they are in a relationship.

Original post by Zarek

Flirting doesn't stop dead when you're in a relationship generally.

Agreed, but I would have thought in some cases it would be proper form to subtly hint at your status. For example what do you make of this one:

I was flirting back and forth with a firl for about 2 months. I got ready to ask her out. Then I found from someone else that she has been engaged for a year. She never told me. She just flirted back, texted back. I feel guilty now. I have been masturbating to her picture and thinking about her and flirting with her all this time!!

Reply 54

Zarek

21

Original post by pshah2

I would pursue someone, but if they're taken, I would feel uncomfortable doing that. I would respect that they are in a relationship.

Agreed, but I would have thought in some cases it would be proper form to subtly hint at your status. For example what do you make of this one:

I was flirting back and forth with a firl for about 2 months. I got ready to ask her out. Then I found from someone else that she has been engaged for a year. She never told me. She just flirted back, texted back. I feel guilty now. I have been masturbating to her picture and thinking about her and flirting with her all this time!!

So, I was starting to feel some sympathy for you and to say her behaviour was a tad questionable. Until, that is, I got to the point where you revealed your sordid photo ****ing at which point I concluded you were good value for her tricky ways. :biggrin:

Reply 55

noobynoo

6

Original post by flatmatetrouble

Let me rephrase this for you. Girls with boyfriends should always be aware of other men who may or may not want to sleep with them. Girls with boyfriends should have the courtesy to tell all men that they dance with/ meet at clubs that they have a boyfriend. If girls with boyfriends don't think about these random men that they don't even know, then they are greedy bitches. From this moment onwards I will always introduce myself to men by saying "Hi, my name is flatmatetrouble, I have a boyfriend!" because obviously that's the most pertinent and interesting thing about me. .

Yes. This would be the ladylike thing to do. Then all the single guys and single girls can get together without wasting their time on attention seekers.

It's like women who go to gay bars but don't tell the lesbians that they're not gay and just like the attention of getting chatted up. That's why lesbians get pissed off with straight women in their clubs. (I heard.)

Also, you can't pretend that nightclubs are not places where single people go to meet each other. Otherwise there would be no such thing as gay clubs.

Finally would you dance with a random GIRL in a nightclub too? Or would you think she might be a lesbian? Or would you say "I'm not gay". Even though it doesn't matter either way if you have a boyfriend.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 56

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by Zarek

So, I was starting to feel some sympathy for you and to say her behaviour was a tad questionable. Until, that is, I got to the point where you revealed your sordid photo ****ing at which point I concluded you were good value for her tricky ways. :biggrin:

Thanks for the sympathy. But to be clear, I only started fapping as I thought she was single and I fancied her! I still do a little. She never wore a ring or told me or even hinted that she had a boyfriend, let alone was engaged.

She always made it a point to say hi to me if she saw me somewhere. One day she suggested getting a coffee. She gave me her number. What do you think? Was she playing me a long? For what reason?

And is it bad that I have this urge to fap to her? I found her really attractive. And yes I may have fapped to her yesterday.

Advice and thoughts?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 57

datpiff

13

Original post by MancBoy

The most likely reason is for the attention. Most girls would do anything for some male atrention and self validation.

This is why you see women who are married going out clubbing mainly to boost their egos and to show they still 'have it'.

The other reason is to monkey branch I.e keeping other guys as a backup just in case anything goes wrong.

They get in long term relationships and realise they enjoyed the single lifestyle more and throw away a relationship for a fling with some dick from some club.

Reply 58

pshah2

OP

2

Original post by Zarek

So, I was starting to feel some sympathy for you and to say her behaviour was a tad questionable. Until, that is, I got to the point where you revealed your sordid photo ****ing at which point I concluded you were good value for her tricky ways. :biggrin:

What can I do? Is it all right to keep fapping to her?