The Student Room Group

Would you date someone with HIV?

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Original post by Nick Parsons
Good to see prejudice is alive and well.


Sorry if not wanting to risk catching the virus that causes ****ing AIDS is too non-PC for you.
My concern is catching HIV. Even with condoms, there's a risk it'll break. And then there's the fact that HIV can be transmitted through cuts, etc.

I'd also rather not care for someone too. I know it causes some pretty serious medical issues.
Original post by OU Student
My concern is catching HIV. Even with condoms, there's a risk it'll break. And then there's the fact that HIV can be transmitted through cuts, etc.

I'd also rather not care for someone too. I know it causes some pretty serious medical issues.

Yeah, but according to the user Nick Parsons, you're being prejudiced.
Original post by SnoochToTheBooch
Care to educate me then?


why would I do that when there's google
No. Whilst I understand that the risks of contracting HIV are much MUCH lower than commonly thought, it is still a risk, and being a female the risk is actually higher than for heterosexual men. I actually take great interest in HIV as a field of study, but I actually have an irrational fear to contracting it, I don't want to be in a relationship in which I am constantly paranoid about contracting a virus. And then there is the strong likelihood that the relationship probably wouldn't work out (as with the majority of relationships, they end) it would be pretty awful to end up contracting the virus (however unlikely) and then find myself single and unable to attract partners due to my HIV status.
I used to say no, then I found out an ex had lied about his previous sexual partners and got paranoid about STDs (I didn't have anything, I just worried unneccessarily). So I looked them all up. I think the problem is most people think if you have unprotected sex with someone who has HIV, you will instantly get it. But the chances are much, much smaller than that. Obviously if I had an HIV positive partner I would use protection. But if there was ever an accident, there's now a tablet you can take afterwards.

I just think if I really liked someone, I don't think I would instantly give up on them for having HIV.
Original post by louieee
why would I do that when there's google


I expected you to at least have one quick reason why my opinion was 'ridiculous'.
Original post by chocolatesauce
Why would anyone want to increase the number of HIV cases, there's already too many. Also when I date someone, I'm dating with the intention of possibly getting married and having a family. If I were to have a family it can easily be passed on from me to my child. Why would I ever want myself, my child or anyone to contract HIV....


Why can't you start a family with a HIV infected person assuming your partner is on antiretrovirals?

If you love someone you love someone. I don't know why you're closing yourself off just because HIV is misunderstood.


HIV people who are on the virals have the same life expectancy as you. And I think you're being prejudiced by ignoring the fact that hiv is not aids.


You can give birth to a child and not infect it with HIV as long as you're taking the treatments. The risk is something like 1%.



...
Original post by Anonymous
I used to say no, then I found out an ex had lied about his previous sexual partners and got paranoid about STDs (I didn't have anything, I just worried unneccessarily). So I looked them all up. I think the problem is most people think if you have unprotected sex with someone who has HIV, you will instantly get it. But the chances are much, much smaller than that. Obviously if I had an HIV positive partner I would use protection. But if there was ever an accident, there's now a tablet you can take afterwards.

I just think if I really liked someone, I don't think I would instantly give up on them for having HIV.

Why are you hiding behind Anonymous? It's a perfectly fine opinion to have, I don't see the need as to why you would have to hide.
Original post by SophieSmall
No. Whilst I understand that the risks of contracting HIV are much MUCH lower than commonly thought, it is still a risk, and being a female the risk is actually higher than for heterosexual men. I actually take great interest in HIV as a field of study, but I actually have an irrational fear to contracting it, I don't want to be in a relationship in which I am constantly paranoid about contracting a virus. And then there is the strong likelihood that the relationship probably wouldn't work out (as with the majority of relationships, they end) it would be pretty awful to end up contracting the virus (however unlikely) and then find myself single and unable to attract partners due to my HIV status.


Probably the best response in this thread.


Not like the other unreasonable people in this thread.
Original post by Nick Parsons
Probably the best response in this thread.


Not like the other unreasonable people in this thread.



Thanks :smile:
I would date them, but I'd wait a lot longer than I would with an average partner to have sex. I'd have to be really comfortable with them and we would have to be long-term partners before we actually had sex, and even then I'd be incredibly careful. They're still human and I'd still be as attracted (or not) to them as I would be if they were HIV-negative. If the person I wanted to be with had HIV, I'd still be with them.
No
Original post by Nick Parsons
Why can't you start a family with a HIV infected person assuming your partner is on antiretrovirals?

If you love someone you love someone. I don't know why you're closing yourself off just because HIV is misunderstood.


HIV people who are on the virals have the same life expectancy as you. And I think you're being prejudiced by ignoring the fact that hiv is not aids.


You can give birth to a child and not infect it with HIV as long as you're taking the treatments. The risk is something like 1%.



...

But he isn't. HIV is so dangerous and the things is you don't even know if you've got it, it's so hard to treat because almost all the tine the virus will come on top also because billions is copies of it are made everyday in a person it could well become drug resistant. And these drugs will never completely wipe out the virus so there is always a chance it will get transmitted.

When you love someone you will want to be both loved physically and mentally, of-course mentally he may satisfy me but physically I'd be too cautious. I won't even be able to kiss him without thinking twice. That's not a healthy relationships, we'll never really be a "normal" couple.

That's not the point, it's a virus and it spreads and could potentially kill you. It attacks your immune system.

Why should any parent take the risk? Why would you put your unborn child in danger even before it's born? It's your duty as parents to protect it but that's not exactly what you're doing.
(edited 9 years ago)
When i was in my first year of university in halls, my flat friend at the time, had an hiv scare.. had to go to hospital and start the emergency PEP... Police came and it wrecked her life for 3 months she had to wait because it can develop in that time period, but it was an happy ending! however, its made me since then afraid of catching it. The stigma is terrible, someone scratched 'AIDZ' on our door frame
Original post by SnoochToTheBooch
I expected you to at least have one quick reason why my opinion was 'ridiculous'.



I expected you to snooch my booch but you can't always get what you want eh
Nope
Nope. Way too serious risk of infection.
Sorry but no. I appreciate there are drugs and condoms but it just doesn't seem right. It's just too scary.

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