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Took my boyfriend on holiday for his birthday, he just got me a pair of earphones

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Reply 40

Zarek

Relationship seems to have run it's course. Just be brave, end it, and seek out new romance.

Reply 41

Meduza

No but seriously - you're way over the top with your gifts... of course i'd probably expect something more from a man of his age but he does work in a shop... and doesn't earn too much but still... he should have got you flowers too... or something not too big but just to make it tiny bit more romantic even if he can't afford much.

When you got him first present (going somewhere on a holiday) - how did he react?
Because if I was in his position i'd feel embarrassed if I couldn't return such gift.

Reply 42

Anonymous #2

My partner is completely retarded with birthdays and stuff too. He's very practical and thinks gifts should be stuff that you need. He is however generous most of the time but when it's a birthday or Christmas his brain seems to just not exist lol.

I've learnt to accept this but it did piss me off too at the beginning.

Reply 43

owwwww2

I really doubt you would be content with a home made birthday card as you previously suggested.

Reply 44

Anonymous #2

Also I would not accept any man saying he'll live off me. He's a 36 year old man, he should get a grip.

Reply 45

Anonymous #3

Going on holidays as a gift were your own choice and it probably wasn't wise to do it again when the year before he only gave you gloves as a gift. That fact that you paid for the meal on your birthday (I am assuming you meant his and your own) is unacceptable, even it was just you paying for your own you would think he could treat you. How much did the earphones cost? I know people are saying it isn't about the money and it is the thought that counts, but if you spend over £100 on someone and they spend like £20 then that's not fair. Maybe you should agree beforehand on the limits on presents?

Reply 46

DLau88

Why do girls love do be treated like ****?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 47

Profesh

Original post by Anonymous

No he didn't go to any lengths to research it... we were messaging earlier in the day that I needed some, while he was at work and I was at uni. I met him after work and he gave them to me on the tube home. On my birthday I paid for our dinner... which is fine also, as I'm used to it. I think there are plenty of other reasons, like I said this was the last straw. Just don't know when/how to do it. I'm fed up of always being thoughtful and finding stuff to do. And now that I'm doing my masters, it's taking up a ****load of my time and he doesn't deserve being prioritised over it. I feel like I'm getting angrier and angrier about it... bleh

"Hey, I'm only now breaking up with you after four years for personal reasons which actually occurred to me three years ago, because unfortunately I can only date Level Eight Psychics. I know; I'm as surprised as you are."

Now, does that sound like the thought-process of a rational human-being? His feckless indolence notwithstanding, you're a fool to have wasted both his time and yours on a relationship whose downward trajectory should have been apparent at the very outset. For shame.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 48

R0ckTillWeDr0p

Coming from a guy's perspective, we hate giving gifts, so just stop spending so much on him for his birthday and both agree to a price range next time you see each other as to avoid confusion...

Reply 49

Tylerd94

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah that really is unacceptable on my birthday my ex paid for both our meals he really treated me and the year before splashed out on getting me. Whole bunch of Rihanna stuff he really made effort on the birthday's and when he got a job he'd actually go halfs on the meal unless I'd say 'this is my treat'

Reply 50

asdfghjkl1234567

Obviously you don't give to receive but there's clearly a large difference between your gifts. I'd say tone down on the presents you get him - I wouldn't expect a holiday from anyone, no matter what I got them. Next year buy him something much smaller, and see how he reacts. If he's a normal person it won't be a problem at all (and you have no need to waste your money on expensive gifts), if he gets upset then he's being unfair and you should probably talk about it.

I can see why it's upsetting, especially as the holiday's cost you so much, but he's in no way obliged to match your gift.

Reply 51

Le Nombre

Original post by Holby_fanatic

To be honest, it's your own fault for being so stupid and spending that much money. Are you expecting a house in return or something?
He bought you something you NEED - much more useful and practical than some nice weather for a week or two.

This is why I ****ing hate buying gifts for people.

To be fair, if you're both earning a decent salary then spending 250-300 quid on a weekend in Bruges or something isn't that ridiculous. Plus it's something you get to enjoy together.

Obviously it's a different if you're both quite cash strapped and one person saves up virtually 2 months wages to take you to the Maldives or something.

Personally, I don't like getting stuff I need for presents as I can afford it myself, and if I need it I want to make sure it's the exact thing I want and may have certain things in mind. What's nice about surprises is that you don't have a fixed idea of what you're expecting to which the gift may not measure up.

Reply 52

Hal.E.Lujah

I kinda agree with the others, you went ott and there's nothing wrong with that, but you can't blame him for it. It's actually pretty out of line to say his present, which probably cost fair bit of money, was ' a bit ****'.

Reply 53

Holby_fanatic

Original post by Le Nombre

If my boyfriend got me a holiday as a present I would flip out because I'd never be able to reproduce a present like that. I had a go at him on our anniversary because he was going to spend £160 and I spent £20 tops. :tongue:

The fact that she did the holiday thing twice is stupid. She should have learnt from her mistake. Her boyfriend works in a shop and has to pay bills and stuff... He probably doesn't have much spare money at all!

Reply 54

Le Nombre

Original post by Holby_fanatic

That must be quite unusual for a married couple though, most will spend more than 20 quid on an anniversary present.

If someone earning 50k a year (decent money, yes, but not stupid money by an means) spends 250-3000 quid on a present it's less than 10% of their monthly salary, hardly going to ruin them financially.

I agree she was daft to do the holiday thing twice, but it's not ludicrous for some couples to do that. True, but he didn't pay for her bday meal, that's what, 30 quid?, that's a **** take.

Reply 55

TheNoobishKnight

Original post by Anonymous

Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.

Some earphones cost 1k+, maybe he got you some amazing Shure headphones and you don't even know how much they are worth? If he got you beats or something, leave him... :biggrin:

Reply 56

Tylerd94

Well I paid for my ex and his family to go away he came back from that vacation giving me a mug and not even a whole mug but half a mug xD. However I'm not actually Mad about that because it fits biscuits perfectly and also he didn't come back with like tonnes of things for himself or other friends it wasn't much but it was a gift and I'm happy about that :smile:

. Just buck your ideas up you shouldn't be giving someone something with expecting to get something of thw same value back he could of just gotten you a cheap 20p card and said happy birthday or not even a card and just said happy birthday. He remembered you wanted headphones and got them he could of totally forgotten your birthday all together. Damn some people are so ungrateful

Reply 57

Anonymous #1

My earphones were £10... anyway I wasn't expecting anything big, just something that meant he put somethought or effort into it. And year I paid for both our meals for my birthday.

I was thinking maybe he was going to surprise me tonight with a dinner he cooked, but he's just message d to say he's got no food in the house and can I get something on my way to his from the library. Whilst, it's his day off, and he could've got something quite easily.

I don't get it... I'm too chicken to ask if he's taking the piss :o:

He seems like he's happy in my company... all I want is for him to be happy, but I just wish he'd be a bit more considerate. I was planning to be in the library until 9ish... but if he's got no dinner, I really need to leave by 7. So fed up and stressed :frown:

Reply 58

Spongebob'sPants

Think you might be letting him take you for a ride to be honest.

He seems complacent, and you're just letting him be...

Reply 59

username944192

Original post by Anonymous

You really need to talk to him...I know you're hurt, and understandably so, but if you've been together that long then I would think breaking up is a bit hasty. Maybe he doesn't know you would feel this way - some men just aren't very observant to these things - and with the food thing as well it sounds a bit like he's very comfortable in your relationship and is taking you for granted now. Have a chat about it and see if he just doesn't want to make a big deal of birthdays, but really the dinner thing he can fend for himself.