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Should I stay with my boyfriend? :/

Hi this is probably a bit of a long story but oh well,

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have occasional ups and downs but we get on so well and are like best friends as well.
We moved in together earlier this year as we had both been living at his parents before. But he gets paid very little so couldn't afford it and we decided to break up as we would only be able to see each other one or 2 days a week.
Over this break I was really upset and we still spoke most days, I tried to move on and tried speaking to some other boys but it didn't feel right.

I had heard rumours of him getting with a girl but he denied it telling me they were friends and were both going through break ups and needed company. I believed him and ignored so many people.

So now we have got back together and have been trying to make it work for a few months, but last night I went on his phone (I know I shouldn't but he was acting weird) I discovered you can see previous conversations on snapchat but scrolling up and I found out that he had slept with this girl numerous times AS WELL AS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND who has been trying to break us up from day one and he insisted he had no interest in her. I can half understand the random girl as we were broken up but I have now completely lost faith in him for lying about these things, and also just yesterday he had asked a girl for her number over snapchat who he has never mentioned before.

I just don't know what I should do, I do love him but I don't want a relationship full of lies and where my boyfriend wants to flirt with other girls? Am I just overreacting...?
What do you mean he wants to "flirt" with other girls?
He's sleeping with them.
Are you overreacting? Of course not.
Dump him, and get yourself checked out for STDs :/
You were on a breeeaaak!!!
Reply 3
Avatar for az08
az08
7
You don't call someone like that a boyfriend, he is more like a cheating douchebag.

Off course you should not stay with him, can't believe you actually need to ask..
Reply 4
Avatar for meenu89
meenu89
19
You can't trust him, so I think you should end it.
Original post by C_tinie_D
You were on a breeeaaak!!!


But they're not anymore and he's still screwing around. And lying.
Original post by Anonymous

...STDs


It's STI. But yes, get yourself checked out.
End it. You shouldn't tolerate lies.
Reply 8
Avatar for Meduza
Meduza
3
Original post by C_tinie_D
You were on a breeeaaak!!!


Oh ffs... Can you not realise that this is more than him sleeping around whilst on a break (which is fine) - it's the fact he lied about it... so many people do and I just don't understand why.

OP, he is definitely a secretive liar and you should stop thinking whereas he could be a potential cheat and just break up with him over his secrecy and lies.

P.S. I don't think why people try it again after breaks; I think whole romance is lost and it doesn't work out most of the time.
You can't trust him, so you should probably end it, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.

But, you broke up originally because you'd only be able to see each other once or twice a week?! My boyfriend & I have gone several months without seeing each other when I was away for work. But each to their own I suppose...
Reply 10
Avatar for Jesswales
Jesswales
OP
2
Its so easy for me to say I'll break up with him but I have really bad will power :frown:

Thanks for your help though, it puts things into better perspective! If someone else had this situation I would tell them to end it too!
Reply 11
Avatar for Jesswales
Jesswales
OP
2
Original post by Anonymous
You can't trust him, so you should probably end it, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.

But, you broke up originally because you'd only be able to see each other once or twice a week?! My boyfriend & I have gone several months without seeing each other when I was away for work. But each to their own I suppose...


Ah there were a few things but to go from living together for 2 years and kind of settling down it just felt like we were moving backwards in our relationship both of us moving back home with our parents.
Hold up... You broke up after being together 3 years because you'd only see each other twice a week? Am I being a moron or is that not a normal amount to see someone? Sounds like neither of you were that invested emotionally. Just move on.
Reply 13
Avatar for Menrva
Menrva
7
Let me play devil's advocate for one moment. This guy has done nothing wrong for sleeping with other girls - that's including his ex-girlfriend during your break-up. He did not owe you the truth about who he was sleeping with because that was his own personal business. Perhaps he just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Now that you are back in a relationship with this guy, I hope you have established some clear boundaries and expectations. If you are looking for a monogamous relationship with this guy you should tell him that. Never assume these things and don't compromise your own needs. Just have a honest chat with him and assess based on that communication whether your relationship is compatible or whether you'd be better off leaving him.

In honesty, I think you're relationship looks unpromising because there are trust issues. Don't be so quick to assume that this guy is cheating just because he has asked some girl for her number. If by the tone of the message it's blatantly obvious he is flirting, and that hurts your feelings, then you will need to confront him about the issue.
(edited 9 years ago)
oh won't you stay with him, 'cause you're all he neeeds
Original post by Jesswales
Hi this is probably a bit of a long story but oh well,

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have occasional ups and downs but we get on so well and are like best friends as well.
We moved in together earlier this year as we had both been living at his parents before. But he gets paid very little so couldn't afford it and we decided to break up as we would only be able to see each other one or 2 days a week.
Over this break I was really upset and we still spoke most days, I tried to move on and tried speaking to some other boys but it didn't feel right.

I had heard rumours of him getting with a girl but he denied it telling me they were friends and were both going through break ups and needed company. I believed him and ignored so many people.

So now we have got back together and have been trying to make it work for a few months, but last night I went on his phone (I know I shouldn't but he was acting weird) I discovered you can see previous conversations on snapchat but scrolling up and I found out that he had slept with this girl numerous times AS WELL AS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND who has been trying to break us up from day one and he insisted he had no interest in her. I can half understand the random girl as we were broken up but I have now completely lost faith in him for lying about these things, and also just yesterday he had asked a girl for her number over snapchat who he has never mentioned before.

I just don't know what I should do, I do love him but I don't want a relationship full of lies and where my boyfriend wants to flirt with other girls? Am I just overreacting...?


Dump him. Find someone that respects you and loves you because you deserve better. You can't be in a relationship full of lies, it will only end up damaging you. x
Wow. Yeah; ditch him.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Menrva
Let me play devil's advocate for one moment. This guy has done nothing wrong for sleeping with other girls - that's including his ex-girlfriend during your break-up. He did not owe you the truth about who he was sleeping with because that was his own personal business. Perhaps he just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Now that you are back in a relationship with this guy, I hope you have established some clear boundaries and expectations. If you are looking for a monogamous relationship with this guy you should tell him that. Never assume these things and don't compromise your own needs. Just have a honest chat with him and assess based on that communication whether your relationship is compatible or whether you'd be better off leaving him.

In honesty, I think you're relationship looks unpromising because there are trust issues. Don't be so quick to assume that this guy is cheating just because he has asked some girl for her number. If by the tone of the message it's blatantly obvious he is flirting, and that hurts your feelings, then you will need to confront him about the issue.


He does owe her the basic respect of not lying. Whether he was obligated to come forward and tell her is one question - I'd say yes, but it's a grey area. Whether he needed to answer her questions about it (I think so) is perhaps another grey area. But I don't think it's grey at all whether it's okay for him to lie and specifically say he didn't sleep with her, when he did.
Also, even if he'd been honest, it doesn't exactly bode well that he did decide to go sleep with lots of people, including an ex girlfriend, who he's had feelings for in the past. Another grey area, but lying is the biggest issue here.

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