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Cheated on my boyfriend whilst drunk ?

I have been with my boyfriend for over three years and deep down I really do love him, however I feel that the spark is gone and feel like we are only friends now. He is at university and I am having a gap year so we are a few hours away from each other, I always have to make the effort to see him and we never call and rarely text, it is like we are living separate lives.

I havent been out clubbing much since he left, but I went out the other night with some friends and got really drunk(I know it is no excuse). I met a guy who is a friend of a friend and we really clicked from the moment we met. In the club he tried numerous times to get with me despite knowing I had a boyfriend and I kept rejecting him. I got drunker and towards the end of the night really started to like him, we left together and walked home alone. On the way back we went to a quiet part of the city and I just couldn't resist him anymore so we ended up kissing, however I couldn't go any further.

I feel really guilty but my boyfriend is living a separate life and im pretty sure he's done the same. What makes it worse is I kinda like this other guy and we have been speaking since however I know nothing will happen. Do I tell my boyfriend ? I really don't want to lose him, despite everything he is my best friend and I know probably my soul mate.

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Reply 1
Avatar for Tootles
Tootles
21
I think you should show him this post (unedited) and then tell us what he says when he gets to the 'im pretty sure he's done the same' bit.
Reply 2
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
1) prepare yourself for the hang them and flog them brigade on TSR that believe we live in a perfect world and this is the worst crime ever.
2) make your mind up where you stand with your boyfriend. Feels to me you might be ready to move on.
3) if you decide to commit to your bf and sin no more my view is that it is not mandatory to tell him (its only a bloody kiss) but you should learn from the mistake.
Kiss isn't cheating but it's obvious your relationship is a dead parrot, break up
You have to tell him! You can't keep something like that from him. Maybe if you are so out of love with him that you would cheat, it's time to end the relationship.
Original post by Tootles
I think you should show him this post (unedited) and then tell us what he says when he gets to the 'im pretty sure he's done the same' bit.


Pretty good idea.
You have to tell him though OP, certainly if you wish to continue you relationship.
If there's nothing left to the relationship, why are you dragging it out?
Original post by scrotgrot
Kiss isn't cheating


Most would disagree.
Would you be cool with your girlfriend kissing other guys whenever she felt like it?
Reply 8
Avatar for AnharM
AnharM
21
Original post by scrotgrot
Kiss isn't cheating but it's obvious your relationship is a dead parrot, break up


It is to some people, so don't speak for everyone.
Original post by joker12345
Most would disagree.
Would you be cool with your girlfriend kissing other guys whenever she felt like it?


No but this is once when drunk after a lot of persuasion. Cheating is too strong a word.
Original post by scrotgrot
No but this is once when drunk after a lot of persuasion. Cheating is too strong a word.


The circumstances are irrelevant, it's the action that makes it cheating. Like would you call it cheating if it was sober and initiated by her?
I'd agree it's a far more minor and forgivable form of cheating though. Though in this case the relationship's already dead.
Original post by Anonymous
I have been with my boyfriend for over three years and deep down I really do love him, however I feel that the spark is gone and feel like we are only friends now. He is at university and I am having a gap year so we are a few hours away from each other, I always have to make the effort to see him and we never call and rarely text, it is like we are living separate lives.

I havent been out clubbing much since he left, but I went out the other night with some friends and got really drunk(I know it is no excuse). I met a guy who is a friend of a friend and we really clicked from the moment we met. In the club he tried numerous times to get with me despite knowing I had a boyfriend and I kept rejecting him. I got drunker and towards the end of the night really started to like him, we left together and walked home alone. On the way back we went to a quiet part of the city and I just couldn't resist him anymore so we ended up kissing, however I couldn't go any further.

I feel really guilty but my boyfriend is living a separate life and im pretty sure he's done the same. What makes it worse is I kinda like this other guy and we have been speaking since however I know nothing will happen. Do I tell my boyfriend ? I really don't want to lose him, despite everything he is my best friend and I know probably my soul mate.


First thing you need to do is sort your relationship out one way or another with your boyfriend because clearly there are big problems which have caused you to kiss another guy.
Moral of the story? Don't get drunk. :smile:
Original post by scrotgrot
No but this is once when drunk after a lot of persuasion. Cheating is too strong a word.


Agreed.
Lol obviously missing the point.


Should've broken up with him before you got drunk that night. You're just using those reasons as an excuse to justify why you kissed while drunk and have the TSR sympathy vote - which you'll be lucky to get anyways.
Reply 15
Avatar for Ndella
Ndella
18
You may as well break up with him since the spark's gone - the kiss confirmed that.
Original post by Anonymous
deep down I really do love him, however I feel that the spark is gone and feel like we are only friends now.


Can you really continue this relationship if the spark is gone?

Original post by Anonymous
I always have to make the effort to see him and we never call and rarely text, it is like we are living separate lives.


You really need to talk to your boyfriend, it seems like you guys really lack any kind of communication that should exist between a couple, or even good friends!

Cheating is unacceptable but it usually happens for a reason. e.g an unhappy/unfulfilling relationship.

Really, it is better to be honest with your boyfriend. Both of you deserve better.
Original post by joker12345
The circumstances are irrelevant, it's the action that makes it cheating. Like would you call it cheating if it was sober and initiated by her?
I'd agree it's a far more minor and forgivable form of cheating though. Though in this case the relationship's already dead.


I still wouldn't quite call that cheating, no, though of course it's much worse as she initiated and there was much more intent. It does depend how old/sexually experienced/jaded you are whether you consider this a huge deal or not.
I think your bf has done worse than that but dosent think your important enough to tell
Original post by scrotgrot
Kiss isn't cheating but it's obvious your relationship is a dead parrot, break up



Original post by Zarek
1) prepare yourself for the hang them and flog them brigade on TSR that believe we live in a perfect world and this is the worst crime ever.
2) make your mind up where you stand with your boyfriend. Feels to me you might be ready to move on.
3) if you decide to commit to your bf and sin no more my view is that it is not mandatory to tell him (its only a bloody kiss) but you should learn from the mistake.



Original post by AnharM
It is to some people, so don't speak for everyone.



Original post by scrotgrot
No but this is once when drunk after a lot of persuasion. Cheating is too strong a word.


No it isn't. The vast majority still manage to control themselves when drunk; those that can't should have the sense not to get drunk if they can't maintain self-discipline. Most people would consider kissing as cheating.

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