MUSLIM GIRLS: At what age do you start thinking about marriage?

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Isn't 23 regarded late? I mean if you START thinking about marriage at that age then you'd be 25 when you're married (or around that age).

I don't care what's regarded as late, you shouldn't buy into what other people expect of you. It's my life, I didn't think about marriage until I was 23. And I'm probably going to marry ~26/27ish.

Reply 21

Princess31

im 17. and have been thinking about marriage already :K:

I know I want to get married by around just after uni, so... 21-22.. if anyone is willing to marry that young.
some of my friends sisters are engaged/ nikka'd already at 20-21 and intend to finish studies and get married.

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

Original post by Demon Llama

Personally I wouldn't do an arranged marriage. I feel like getting married to someone is something that two people should decide on their own, and having an arranged marriage (to me, at least) feels like marrying a stranger, especially as you know nothing about them except from what you've been told by your parents.

I know a lot of people might say that they can get to know each other AFTER they get married, but I personally feel like it's better to know the person completely beforehand, like say a year or so. Input from parents is fine, however, as long as they're not completely calling the shots. That being said, if a person cannot find a suitable partner on their own, then I guess having an arranged marriage could be considered as a last resort.

When I mean by arrange marriage done properly this is what I mean:

Girls/Boys parent show them the respective people they have in mind, they meet up and talk (the girl and the boy) with family members being present, after a succession of talks, if the girl and boy are happy then they get engaged. If one party is not in mutual agreement then they move on.

Whats wrong with that^^?

Original post by Zamestaneh

I'm a convert, my parents don't know, so I can't turn to them, and I can't really go for a love marriage with a pious person because a pious person would most likely not mix with guys all too much... Unless I can establish contacts with any Muslims (so they can help me out if anyone in their family/they know is seeking to get married), I humbly expect to die alone...

mashaAllah, maybe go to the mosque and speak to the Imam?

anon or delete.

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

Original post by Princess31

im 17. and have been thinking about marriage already :K:

Do you talk about marriage with your friends? and would you want an arrange marriage in this sense:

When I mean by arrange marriage done properly this is what I mean:

Girls/Boys parent show them the respective people they have in mind, they meet up and talk (the girl and the boy) with family members being present, after a succession of talks, if the girl and boy are happy then they get engaged. If one party is not in mutual agreement then they move on.

Whats wrong with that^^?

Reply 24

Princess31

Original post by Anonymous

Yup I talk about marriage with my friends all the time. they know im so :woo:

for when I get married lol, its something that I just want to happen already tbh, but I want to also complete my studies so I got about 3 and a bit years to go before I can get married.

tbh theres nothing wrong with that at all.. like I think that that's not a bad way to get married.. but like I think that the boy and girl in question should get to know each other a lot more than just a few meetings before they get engaged/married...

Reply 25

TurboCretin

Original post by Demon Llama

Once my life is stable: stable income, traveled the world, bought a house etc....I honestly don't want to get married until my late 20s, early 30s

You want to buy a house before getting married?

How much do you plan on earning?

Reply 26

childofthesun

Original post by Anonymous

that sounds all well and good but once you see your friends getting married etc you'll want that as well I guess. I was also like I'll wait till I finish my degree but my view has changed. Maybe you're different idk.

No I don't think I'd feel pressured/want to get married early just because my friends are. My friends have similar mindsets to me anyway. Also I'd need to have been with the guy for a while before marriage.

Regarding your other question. There's nothing wrong with arranged marriages per se,but I don't think I'd be able to go into a marriage with someone i barely know. I need to get to know them before,not after the marriage

Reply 27

-Rainbow Drops-

I'd like to be married by 22-23 but I gotta find someone to marry which is stress lol

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 28

Zamestaneh

Original post by Anonymous

mashaAllah, maybe go to the mosque and speak to the Imam?

anon or delete.

Perhaps... But the thing is that an imam doesn't know me nor is he likely to know the girl, so he'd just be saying 'yeah, (s)he's pious, Alhamdulillah' to both of us and it wouldn't be a valid match, instead just throwing two randoms together and hoping for the best :indiff:

I don't know, I'll keep looking for ways to meet people and decide what to do when I can afford to sustain myself...

Reply 29

Anonymous #6

I'm as young as 16 (turned 16 at the END of August 😂) and quite rarely ponder on the topic of marriage. Nevertheless I do wonder what it is like to be married in a healthy muslim and Islamic way.

Reply 30

zuzu096

Original post by Anonymous

I think that's the right way to do it. What's scaring me though is how long you know this person before you get married? how long do people normally know each othwr for?

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Reply 31

Anonymous #4

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN FALLING IN LOVE FGS.
developing feelings for someone is fine, but its the physical contact that will make it HARAM.
you ARE allowed to fall in love. no sexual relationship before marriage.
I have a degree in Islamic Theology and also teach it, so please get the facts right.

Reply 32

Anonymous #7

Original post by Anonymous

But.. isn't it normally the guys family that would get in contact with the girls?
And getting married in 'love' is haraam.

.

Um...love marriages aren't haraam?

It really depends on the culture the woman was raised in. Some Muslim girls make it a requirement to get to know a potential spouse and date for a while before marrying. Others sort of just go with the guidance of their parents.

Love marriages are in no way haraam. That seems to be a very ascetic ideology adopted by conservative Muslim communities.

Reply 33

hukdealz

Original post by Anonymous

But.. isn't it normally the guys family that would get in contact with the girls?
And getting married in 'love' is haraam.

a huge misconception, as long as you date in a public place/with a mahram is present. When living in the western society, it is easy to forget that it is still possible to fall in love with someone's personality

Reply 34

hukdealz

Original post by Anonymous

100% true. As long as you're meeting in a public place/with a mahram present, there is nothing wrong with 'dating' a girl.

allah swt knows best

Reply 35

hukdealz

Original post by Zamestaneh

alhamdulliah, pleased to hear allah swt has shown you the right path, and credit to you for persevering such difficult times- I can't even comprehend how difficult is must be for you.

don't think like that! I'm sure allah swt will bless you with a beautiful husband one day, just like he showed you the path to islam. Just don't lose hope! Whilst many muslim females use their families to find a suitable man, it is still possible to find a pious, decent, loving man to marry through social events and the like. Yes it will be difficult, but I guarantee that you will find someone some day.