I'm that foreign guy at uni who has no friends. Getting really depressed.

I just started at uni of Edinburgh a few months ago and I have no friends. Everyone here is British but I am the only foreign guy here . I haven't met a single Turkish guy at my uni. I used to live in London for 3 years and the atmosphere there so was much more diverse. I had friends and we went out every once in a while although even back then I wasn't that social.
But now I literally have NO one and I am getting really depressed. I spend days at my room watching family guy and Southpark. I do not even go to my lectures anymore I became very withdrawn. People don't ask me out, they are v. cold with me when I am talking to them and some even ignore me.

Why does the society exclude people? I don't know what it wrong with me. I have black hair and brown eyes but I am white. And my English is quite good. I almost dont have an accent. I don't think people are racist towards me they just dont like me. I am quite ugly but I am not scary. My nose isn't too big and my ears aren't pointy. I am short at about 5' 7'' and skinny but I don't I am revoltingly ugly. I wear designer clothing and shave and cut my hair nicely to compensate for my ugliness a little.

I think it is just that they don't enjoy hanging out and I respect that. It is their choice to go out with me or not. My question is how can I not be so boring? How can I make people like me? I am so quite when I am around people and I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable when a person I don't know joins but I talk more around people I know. I cannot be funny because I don't know how to. Sometimes I struggle to understand what some people say because Scottish accent is a bit unfamiliar to me and I can't even join the conversation in those instances.

That sounds really rough, sorry to hear you're going through that. Are you a part of any societies at all? Maybe Edinburgh has a Turkish society or something, otherwise there are bound to be loads to cater to less nationality-based interests. It's going to be tough to come out of your shell but it's a necessary evil, unfortunately. Hopefully you can find some common ground with a few people and feel less isolated, because that's one of the worst feelings in the world.

You can get through this, but you'll need to put in the effort. It'll be worth it in the end!

Yours,
Grey

I just started at uni of Edinburgh a few months ago and I have no friends. Everyone here is British but I am the only foreign guy here . I haven't met a single Turkish guy at my uni. I used to live in London for 3 years and the atmosphere there so was much more diverse. I had friends and we went out every once in a while although even back then I wasn't that social.
But now I literally have NO one and I am getting really depressed. I spend days at my room watching family guy and Southpark. I do not even go to my lectures anymore I became very withdrawn. People don't ask me out, they are v. cold with me when I am talking to them and some even ignore me.

Why does the society exclude people? I don't know what it wrong with me. I have black hair and brown eyes but I am white. And my English is quite good. I almost dont have an accent. I don't think people are racist towards me they just dont like me. I am quite ugly but I am not scary. My nose isn't too big and my ears aren't pointy. I am short at about 5' 7'' and skinny but I don't I am revoltingly ugly. I wear designer clothing and shave and cut my hair nicely to compensate for my ugliness a little.

I think it is just that they don't enjoy hanging out and I respect that. It is their choice to go out with me or not. My question is how can I not be so boring? How can I make people like me? I am so quite when I am around people and I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable when a person I don't know joins but I talk more around people I know. I cannot be funny because I don't know how to. Sometimes I struggle to understand what some people say because Scottish accent is a bit unfamiliar to me and I can't even join the conversation in those instances.

Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm sure your a very nice person , just try it takes time. I'm sure they are other people like you who feel as If they haven't fully settled or made friends yet.

Try and join some uni societies - you'll get to know people that way and may find a new hobby!

As for you feeling down, attend your lectures etc, your education is important and don't forget you worked damn hard to get into this uni and you'll enjoy your uni experience just try and stay positive, I know is hard being told all this. I think you may have low self esteem, but don't let that prevent you from doing the things you want. If you do feel down I recommend seeing a doctor just so you don't feel depressed .

You will definitely make friends I can guarantee that, just stay positive maybe start off just talking to people on your course or if you live in student accommodation talk to people there.

Hope this helps

Thank you for being so nice. I think everyone dislikes me and I can't find out why. For example, I met this Dutch guy at the library a couple of weeks ago and we had a really nice conversation about hippies and Amsterdam and 13th Floor Elevators etc... (hippie stuff). I added him on FB and he accpepted my friend request but when I saw him again next week he was so ignoring me for no reason. Literally, I didnt say a thing that could have offended him in that week. I didnt even see him for a week but he just ignored me for no good reason. It is like everyone and everything is ignoring me. Even on Tinder they ignore me. I think because I expect people to ignore me then they do. I saw this girl outside the lecture hall and she was looking at me like she was interested. When I went inside the lecture hall, she sat next to me and introduced herself but after the lecture she too just ignored me and left. Completely changed her attitude by the end of the lecture. Do you know why that happens?
I like to go out and meet people but I am worried about saying something stupid and messing things up.

Thank you for being so nice. I think everyone dislikes me and I can't find out why. For example, I met this Dutch guy at the library a couple of weeks ago and we had a really nice conversation about hippies and Amsterdam and 13th Floor Elevators etc... (hippie stuff). I added him on FB and he accpepted my friend request but when I saw him again next week he was so ignoring me for no reason. Literally, I didnt say a thing that could have offended him in that week. I didnt even see him for a week but he just ignored me for no good reason. It is like everyone and everything is ignoring me. Even on Tinder they ignore me. I think because I expect people to ignore me then they do. I saw this girl outside the lecture hall and she was looking at me like she was interested. When I went inside the lecture hall, she sat next to me and introduced herself but after the lecture she too just ignored me and left. Completely changed her attitude by the end of the lecture. Do you know why that happens?
I like to go out and meet people but I am worried about saying something stupid and messing things up.

Thank you so much. You know depression is a very funny condition. You complain of loneliness but refuse to get involved with other people because of disparity or the fear of rejection. I really have to make changes in my life because this is supposed to be the best time of my life not the most agonising.

I just started at uni of Edinburgh a few months ago and I have no friends. Everyone here is British but I am the only foreign guy here . I haven't met a single Turkish guy at my uni. I used to live in London for 3 years and the atmosphere there so was much more diverse. I had friends and we went out every once in a while although even back then I wasn't that social.
But now I literally have NO one and I am getting really depressed. I spend days at my room watching family guy and Southpark. I do not even go to my lectures anymore I became very withdrawn. People don't ask me out, they are v. cold with me when I am talking to them and some even ignore me.

Why does the society exclude people? I don't know what it wrong with me. I have black hair and brown eyes but I am white. And my English is quite good. I almost dont have an accent. I don't think people are racist towards me they just dont like me. I am quite ugly but I am not scary. My nose isn't too big and my ears aren't pointy. I am short at about 5' 7'' and skinny but I don't I am revoltingly ugly. I wear designer clothing and shave and cut my hair nicely to compensate for my ugliness a little.

I think it is just that they don't enjoy hanging out and I respect that. It is their choice to go out with me or not. My question is how can I not be so boring? How can I make people like me? I am so quite when I am around people and I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable when a person I don't know joins but I talk more around people I know. I cannot be funny because I don't know how to. Sometimes I struggle to understand what some people say because Scottish accent is a bit unfamiliar to me and I can't even join the conversation in those instances.

Lol to OP implying being a colour other than white is grounds for social exclusion/acceptance

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I just started at uni of Edinburgh a few months ago and I have no friends. Everyone here is British but I am the only foreign guy here . I haven't met a single Turkish guy at my uni. I used to live in London for 3 years and the atmosphere there so was much more diverse. I had friends and we went out every once in a while although even back then I wasn't that social.
But now I literally have NO one and I am getting really depressed. I spend days at my room watching family guy and Southpark. I do not even go to my lectures anymore I became very withdrawn. People don't ask me out, they are v. cold with me when I am talking to them and some even ignore me.

Why does the society exclude people? I don't know what it wrong with me. I have black hair and brown eyes but I am white. And my English is quite good. I almost dont have an accent. I don't think people are racist towards me they just dont like me. I am quite ugly but I am not scary. My nose isn't too big and my ears aren't pointy. I am short at about 5' 7'' and skinny but I don't I am revoltingly ugly. I wear designer clothing and shave and cut my hair nicely to compensate for my ugliness a little.

I think it is just that they don't enjoy hanging out and I respect that. It is their choice to go out with me or not. My question is how can I not be so boring? How can I make people like me? I am so quite when I am around people and I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable when a person I don't know joins but I talk more around people I know. I cannot be funny because I don't know how to. Sometimes I struggle to understand what some people say because Scottish accent is a bit unfamiliar to me and I can't even join the conversation in those instances.

..

I was going to write you a proper reply till you implied not being white would be a grounds for this to happen to you. Or you expected an easier time because you were white.

No sympathy from me, sir.

I was going to write you a proper reply till you implied not being white would be a grounds for this to happen to you. Or you expected an easier time because you were white.

No sympathy from me, sir.

Hey there, I am a student in the UK and I am from the same country as you are. I understand very well how it is hard to make friends especially 3 months after the university has started and when everyone has already formed their groups. I know it is really tiring that after some time you just let it go, stop trying and it affects all aspects of your life.

Do NOT stop trying. Do not let people's attitudes after you've met them stop you. It can fascinate you to even see people who met on their second or third years become really good friends, at least this is what's giving me hope.

Last year in London I was in my first year and I made all my best friends after February! Before that, I was a wreck in depression. So this year, I transferred into another university in another city (because I did not like the course I was studying), in first year again, I am going through the same struggle now as last year this time.

But I am still not giving up and am trying to be as social as possible, pushing my limits. I joined societies, I do campaigning and etc. I know that at some point I will get good results! In societies you might meet people who share the same interests as you and you would not have to try to be funny to be interesting.

And do not be so self conscious about your looks, people do not choose friends according to their looks. This is not relationship, it is friendship.

If you ever need to talk to someone, pm me. I know exactly what you are going through and sometimes having someone who understands comforts you the most.

I hope this is of help...