Im 19 and my mother still hits me. HELP ME

It's easy to say that. Imo it's a bit of a "Western" view that people can just "escape" like that...

In a way, regardless of the OP's cultural background, I reckon these guys will be able to help:

http://www.karmanirvana.org.uk/

It's more focusing on those who's parents might be Asian, but they're still quite helpful I think for any one else

That wont help me

T



Thank you so much. Your advice made me feel better i was crying earlier but you motivated me

Is it bad that Im praying for a man to come into my life and show me unconditional love? No pain, just true love. I've never had an older male figure in my life and all i want is someone to just love me like crazy, get married to them and live happily with my own family with no beatings and pain. But im just scared that i'll jump into marriage just so i can escape this and nothing else.

Lol! It's so normal.
I'm from an East African background and my mother is half Somalian Half Tanzanian. They are just brought up that way! There's nothing you can do about it! At all. My mother is a single parent too.. If you think about all the things they go through as single mothers, they really rely on their children to turn out near perfect. Their mentality is "I work day and night, and the least my child can do is become a good child"
- She loves you! Means no harm. It's just she was taught by the hand and therefore she knows no other way but to teach but by the hand.

(Also, take into consideration that she may be a bit bitter from your father passing away. I am almost near positive that my mother is bitter due to a tragic divorce)
- East African woman are strong! They have been through so much! And in my case my mother has fled a massacre. So just take into consideration that they have been through a lot!
- I figured out that if I try to build a relationship with her and try to build trust with her.. It should be fine! And my hypothesis has proven to be correct.
It works!

Hope that helped



Posted from TSR Mobile

Oo.. Result of your past. Therapy is necessary after this post. Please consider this!


Posted from TSR Mobile

maybe not therapy because lets face it its a massive taboo in some cultures but one thing i'd advice is to talk to your siblings not about her but about you guys like uplift each other because you're in the same situation. Sometimes bringing in other people could make it worse because they might not understand the cultural influences and the " ultimate betrayal" as it would be viewed. Dont rely on a man to change this youre a smart person just work on yourself its so much more guaranteed. Coming from other cultures living in the western world is so frustrating because you have different rules inside your house and outside you're a different person. But honestly l dont see you not coming out of this as the stronger person, you're young you have all the optionsin the world dont let her restrict you mentally

Your mum shouldn't be smacking you or other children this is a form of abuse contact social services or anon police she needs to stop. Its against the law what she is doing.

Hit her back! I'd bloody well hit mine if she hit me and I've done so.

Wouldn't hit someone on the street, won't be hitting me...

Hit her back.

Does she work?

I honestly think that she may be depressed with everything that has happened. High blood pressure?And its a bad situation to be in and I honestly woudnt know what to do.

I used to get beats as well when I was younger but it was for stuff like not eating -.-

Can you read?

Can you read?

OP, I understand that you don't want to disrespect your mother because she brought you onto this earth, but at the same time, she shouldn't have had children if she wasn't going to respect them. Culture or not, it's unacceptable to treat your children like that, and putting up with it should not be the solution. Either you'll have to confront her and get help from other people such as uni or social services so she stops the behaviour, or remove yourself from the situation. I understand it would be hard to do either, but you're doing something good and potentially giving hope to other people in the same situation. What if you never get married? Or you don't until you're thirty? What then? You can't put up with that kind of treatment. I often see threads on here saying 'You don't understand, I just can't, it's such a massive thing in x culture', but at the end of the day, that culture won't stop being a justifiable reason for things like this until people like you in your situation stand up themselves and speak out. It's hard, but all you have to do is find the courage to do it.