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When did you realise you were gay/bi/lesbian?
I'm not sure if anyone's ever posted a thread like this but I thought it would be interesting to share our "pre-coming-out" stories. 
In my case when I was young I always felt a weird 'something' in my stomach whenever people started to talk about men and women and marriage and knew that somehow it wasn't going to be my destiny. The earliest indication I can remember was this dream where I saw two guys, possibly in their 30s, living together, one of which looked remarkably similar to me, and it was a dream about a typical day of two guys, but they kissed a lot and were intimate and as a 10 year old boy with no knowledge whatsoever regarding LGBT people, it freaked me out.
I grew up in a very conservative Roman Catholic background (still do) and having extremely uneducated homophobic parents did not help with my coming out process. I went to an all-boys school (with some very good-looking classmates) so as time passed by, I started developing an attraction to them which freaked me out even more and my Catholic background and homophobic parents' views drove me deep into the closet for 6 years. I experienced self-hatred and my anxiety levels were at their maximum until I said "enough is enough" and came out to myself around a year and a half ago.
It's been a tough year and a half but I'm slowly starting to feel better about it even though I still am somehow unable to say the word 'gay' out loud when people ask me what my sexuality is, but I'll get there one day.
So what about everyone else? What was your first indication that you were gay/bi/lesbian? What's your coming out story?
(I don't want this to be a religious debate, just a place where people can share their stories as such, and possibly help others who are questioning/in denial to show that we probably experienced all the feelings they are having and that it's completely normal etc. )
In my case when I was young I always felt a weird 'something' in my stomach whenever people started to talk about men and women and marriage and knew that somehow it wasn't going to be my destiny. The earliest indication I can remember was this dream where I saw two guys, possibly in their 30s, living together, one of which looked remarkably similar to me, and it was a dream about a typical day of two guys, but they kissed a lot and were intimate and as a 10 year old boy with no knowledge whatsoever regarding LGBT people, it freaked me out.
I grew up in a very conservative Roman Catholic background (still do) and having extremely uneducated homophobic parents did not help with my coming out process. I went to an all-boys school (with some very good-looking classmates) so as time passed by, I started developing an attraction to them which freaked me out even more and my Catholic background and homophobic parents' views drove me deep into the closet for 6 years. I experienced self-hatred and my anxiety levels were at their maximum until I said "enough is enough" and came out to myself around a year and a half ago.
It's been a tough year and a half but I'm slowly starting to feel better about it even though I still am somehow unable to say the word 'gay' out loud when people ask me what my sexuality is, but I'll get there one day.
So what about everyone else? What was your first indication that you were gay/bi/lesbian? What's your coming out story?
(I don't want this to be a religious debate, just a place where people can share their stories as such, and possibly help others who are questioning/in denial to show that we probably experienced all the feelings they are having and that it's completely normal etc.
)Scroll to see replies
Original post by TheStoryteller
I'm not sure if anyone's ever posted a thread like this but I thought it would be interesting to share our "pre-coming-out" stories.
In my case when I was young I always felt a weird 'something' in my stomach whenever people started to talk about men and women and marriage and knew that somehow it wasn't going to be my destiny. The earliest indication I can remember was this dream where I saw two guys, possibly in their 30s, living together, one of which looked remarkably similar to me, and it was a dream about a typical day of two guys, but they kissed a lot and were intimate and as a 10 year old boy with no knowledge whatsoever regarding LGBT people, it freaked me out.
I grew up in a very conservative Roman Catholic background (still do) and having extremely uneducated homophobic parents did not help with my coming out process. I went to an all-boys school (with some very good-looking classmates) so as time passed by, I started developing an attraction to them which freaked me out even more and my Catholic background and homophobic parents' views drove me deep into the closet for 6 years. I experienced self-hatred and my anxiety levels were at their maximum until I said "enough is enough" and came out to myself around a year and a half ago.
It's been a tough year and a half but I'm slowly starting to feel better about it even though I still am somehow unable to say the word 'gay' out loud when people ask me what my sexuality is, but I'll get there one day.
So what about everyone else? What was your first indication that you were gay/bi/lesbian? What's your coming out story?
(I don't want this to be a religious debate, just a place where people can share their stories as such, and possibly help others who are questioning/in denial to show that we probably experienced all the feelings they are having and that it's completely normal etc. )
In my case when I was young I always felt a weird 'something' in my stomach whenever people started to talk about men and women and marriage and knew that somehow it wasn't going to be my destiny. The earliest indication I can remember was this dream where I saw two guys, possibly in their 30s, living together, one of which looked remarkably similar to me, and it was a dream about a typical day of two guys, but they kissed a lot and were intimate and as a 10 year old boy with no knowledge whatsoever regarding LGBT people, it freaked me out.
I grew up in a very conservative Roman Catholic background (still do) and having extremely uneducated homophobic parents did not help with my coming out process. I went to an all-boys school (with some very good-looking classmates) so as time passed by, I started developing an attraction to them which freaked me out even more and my Catholic background and homophobic parents' views drove me deep into the closet for 6 years. I experienced self-hatred and my anxiety levels were at their maximum until I said "enough is enough" and came out to myself around a year and a half ago.
It's been a tough year and a half but I'm slowly starting to feel better about it even though I still am somehow unable to say the word 'gay' out loud when people ask me what my sexuality is, but I'll get there one day.
So what about everyone else? What was your first indication that you were gay/bi/lesbian? What's your coming out story?
(I don't want this to be a religious debate, just a place where people can share their stories as such, and possibly help others who are questioning/in denial to show that we probably experienced all the feelings they are having and that it's completely normal etc.
)Aww that's such a good idea for a thread!
I'm glad to know that things are starting to look up for you :3
When I was like , 9 girls was just not for me now men now we are talking 
I realised I was bi when I was about 10 or 11. I had my first ever kiss and sexual experiences with a girl. I tend to be a lot drawn more to guys nowadays and have been happily in a relationship with a man for years now but I still find some women attractive every so often. I never came out or anything as I didn't feel the need and I didn't see it as a big deal but if someone asked me my sexuality or it came up in conversation, I would bring it up then.
(edited 9 years ago)
Probably after the end of year 11. I went to an all boys school, and only had females outside for friends. That's not to say I don't find women attractive. Just it's rare that I do. I have dated women and not dated any guys as yet, but attraction for the moment is almost none-existent for women. Officially speaking I'm bi as there is an attraction of some degree towards women, but I identify as gay ... I know, it's confusing.
I have recently been asked to dance by guys on nights out, but I wasn't really up for it, despite it oddly being on my birthday night out. I guess it's because I feel a loyalty to my friends in that I invited them to my birthday party and it would be rude to up and leave them after they made all that effort.
I have recently been asked to dance by guys on nights out, but I wasn't really up for it, despite it oddly being on my birthday night out. I guess it's because I feel a loyalty to my friends in that I invited them to my birthday party and it would be rude to up and leave them after they made all that effort.
I realised I was gay when I was little kid tbh. I was always different to my brother and I always kept my room clean, and liked drawing.
When you've got a beautiful woman orgasming on top of you and you are so bored you fall asleep. That's when you start to realise you are just in denial.
I was vaguely aware of it as a teenager, I would fantasize about men but it didn't mean all that much to me, I think I thought that I just liked the idea of it, but wouldn't like it in reality, after all I had never really fancied anyone at that point, other than girls I mean.
When I began uni I lived with this guy and, for whatever reason, I found myself unable to stop thinking about him. It was (and still is) the most intense crush I've ever had on anybody. I wanted him so badly. This led me to begin coming out to my friends and family as bisexual. Later that year this guy randomly started chatting me up in my uni bar, I'd never been with a man before so when he suggested we go back to his place I thought 'sure, I should probably make absolutely sure that I'm definitely not straight anyway.' After that I was certain that I was bi.
When I began uni I lived with this guy and, for whatever reason, I found myself unable to stop thinking about him. It was (and still is) the most intense crush I've ever had on anybody. I wanted him so badly. This led me to begin coming out to my friends and family as bisexual. Later that year this guy randomly started chatting me up in my uni bar, I'd never been with a man before so when he suggested we go back to his place I thought 'sure, I should probably make absolutely sure that I'm definitely not straight anyway.' After that I was certain that I was bi.
Naya Rivera.
I had a sexuality crisis at roughly age 12. I guess I felt, at the time, that I just wanted to be "special" and almost went into denial about feeling anything other than straight.
I got a little older, and I suppose I was still somewhat in denial when I came online and in some way thought to myself "well, if I'm not attracted to men, I'm not attracted to anyone". I identified as asexual from about 14-16, until I drifted away from tumblr and started using twitter again, where a number of my friends identified as gay.
I think then I realised, around turning 17, that I was gay. So I've realised I was "not straight" for about three years, but only really felt comfortable with my sexuality for the past three/four months.
I got a little older, and I suppose I was still somewhat in denial when I came online and in some way thought to myself "well, if I'm not attracted to men, I'm not attracted to anyone". I identified as asexual from about 14-16, until I drifted away from tumblr and started using twitter again, where a number of my friends identified as gay.
I think then I realised, around turning 17, that I was gay. So I've realised I was "not straight" for about three years, but only really felt comfortable with my sexuality for the past three/four months.
(edited 9 years ago)
I knew from about 12 but only came out to my family at 31 (I'm 33 now). For years I dated men to keep up the charade, even married one & had two kids! Of course my family never knew it was a cover for also dating girls at the same time, it's pretty easy to get away with though, teenage girls are always 'sleeping over at a friends'. The hubby & I had a mutually convenient open relationship, we were both free to see whoever we wanted as long as everyone was honest about what was going on. He always knew I was a lesbian cos I told him when he first asked me out but he was happy enough to meet the demands from his family to settle down because with me he could go play golf as much as he liked without any complaints lol
We decided a couple of years ago that even though we are still best of friends we couldn't live the lie any more & wanted to end things before we ended up hurting each other, and the kids, in the process. So I came out to both our families, the kids (11 & 13) have been totally cool about it but we did raise them to be open minded. I then met the most wonderful woman who completely gets my geeky awkwardness & matches it with her own. We are getting married next year & my kids even recently decided out of the blue that they want to call her Mum. Gets confusing though, they say Mum, I say yeah & they tell me they weren't talking to me!
We decided a couple of years ago that even though we are still best of friends we couldn't live the lie any more & wanted to end things before we ended up hurting each other, and the kids, in the process. So I came out to both our families, the kids (11 & 13) have been totally cool about it but we did raise them to be open minded. I then met the most wonderful woman who completely gets my geeky awkwardness & matches it with her own. We are getting married next year & my kids even recently decided out of the blue that they want to call her Mum. Gets confusing though, they say Mum, I say yeah & they tell me they weren't talking to me!
my son keeps hanging with girls at playgroup im worried he might be identifying himself as female..
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Original post by xtenshiai
When I started having crushes on pretty teachers and classmates. It was their confident, bright personalities that really attracted me. I guess I wanted to be like them
So you are lesbian or bi?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by MrMango
my son keeps hanging with girls at playgroup im worried he might be identifying himself as female..
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Oh noes. Meh, I get on well with girls as well? Doesn't make me gay or any thing like that....
Actually, I get on well with most people I guess....
Original post by The Juan
So you are lesbian or bi?
Im bi. I still like guys but some girls make me re-think that lol
Original post by lovali
I knew from about 12 but only came out to my family at 31 (I'm 33 now). For years I dated men to keep up the charade, even married one & had two kids! Of course my family never knew it was a cover for also dating girls at the same time, it's pretty easy to get away with though, teenage girls are always 'sleeping over at a friends'. The hubby & I had a mutually convenient open relationship, we were both free to see whoever we wanted as long as everyone was honest about what was going on. He always knew I was a lesbian cos I told him when he first asked me out but he was happy enough to meet the demands from his family to settle down because with me he could go play golf as much as he liked without any complaints lol
We decided a couple of years ago that even though we are still best of friends we couldn't live the lie any more & wanted to end things before we ended up hurting each other, and the kids, in the process. So I came out to both our families, the kids (11 & 13) have been totally cool about it but we did raise them to be open minded. I then met the most wonderful woman who completely gets my geeky awkwardness & matches it with her own. We are getting married next year & my kids even recently decided out of the blue that they want to call her Mum. Gets confusing though, they say Mum, I say yeah & they tell me they weren't talking to me!
We decided a couple of years ago that even though we are still best of friends we couldn't live the lie any more & wanted to end things before we ended up hurting each other, and the kids, in the process. So I came out to both our families, the kids (11 & 13) have been totally cool about it but we did raise them to be open minded. I then met the most wonderful woman who completely gets my geeky awkwardness & matches it with her own. We are getting married next year & my kids even recently decided out of the blue that they want to call her Mum. Gets confusing though, they say Mum, I say yeah & they tell me they weren't talking to me!
Your story is so cute, I'm very happy for you! Congratulations!
Original post by lovali
I knew from about 12 but only came out to my family at 31 (I'm 33 now). For years I dated men to keep up the charade, even married one & had two kids! Of course my family never knew it was a cover for also dating girls at the same time, it's pretty easy to get away with though, teenage girls are always 'sleeping over at a friends'. The hubby & I had a mutually convenient open relationship, we were both free to see whoever we wanted as long as everyone was honest about what was going on. He always knew I was a lesbian cos I told him when he first asked me out but he was happy enough to meet the demands from his family to settle down because with me he could go play golf as much as he liked without any complaints lol
We decided a couple of years ago that even though we are still best of friends we couldn't live the lie any more & wanted to end things before we ended up hurting each other, and the kids, in the process. So I came out to both our families, the kids (11 & 13) have been totally cool about it but we did raise them to be open minded. I then met the most wonderful woman who completely gets my geeky awkwardness & matches it with her own. We are getting married next year & my kids even recently decided out of the blue that they want to call her Mum. Gets confusing though, they say Mum, I say yeah & they tell me they weren't talking to me!
We decided a couple of years ago that even though we are still best of friends we couldn't live the lie any more & wanted to end things before we ended up hurting each other, and the kids, in the process. So I came out to both our families, the kids (11 & 13) have been totally cool about it but we did raise them to be open minded. I then met the most wonderful woman who completely gets my geeky awkwardness & matches it with her own. We are getting married next year & my kids even recently decided out of the blue that they want to call her Mum. Gets confusing though, they say Mum, I say yeah & they tell me they weren't talking to me!
It was lovely to read your story! Things have their way of working out for the best! Congratulations and best wishes to you both!
Original post by loperdoper
I had a sexuality crisis at roughly age 12. I guess I felt, at the time, that I just wanted to be "special" and almost went into denial about feeling anything other than straight.
I got a little older, and I suppose I was still somewhat in denial when I came online and in some way thought to myself "well, if I'm not attracted to men, I'm not attracted to anyone". I identified as asexual from about 14-16, until I drifted away from tumblr and started using twitter again, where a number of my friends identified as gay.
I think then I realised, around turning 17, that I was gay. So I've realised I was "not straight" for about three years, but only really felt comfortable with my sexuality for the past three/four months.
I got a little older, and I suppose I was still somewhat in denial when I came online and in some way thought to myself "well, if I'm not attracted to men, I'm not attracted to anyone". I identified as asexual from about 14-16, until I drifted away from tumblr and started using twitter again, where a number of my friends identified as gay.
I think then I realised, around turning 17, that I was gay. So I've realised I was "not straight" for about three years, but only really felt comfortable with my sexuality for the past three/four months.
This is very similar to what I went through and I realised when I was 17 as well. It feels a bit better when you come out to yourself and once you're fully okay with it and you stop caring about what others might think of you, it'll all be uphill from there
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