Young single mothers rant

My mum had me at 18 and had to separate from my father because he was an alcoholic that eventually died from his addiction.
She was a young single mum, yes, and lived on benefits for a couple of years before I started nursery. Whilst I was at nursery, she enrolled at university as well as taking a part time job. I'm now 18, she's 36, and she works as a primary school teacher with her own house.

Her mum disowned her as soon as she found out that my mum was pregnant - if my mum hadn't had the support of the benefits system she would not have got to where she is today, where she no longer claims those benefits and has a secure job.

Stop being so judgemental.

Reply 21

username904959

13

Original post by OU Student

Indeed. I see many mothers (from teenagers to older mothers) on their own with a child. Doesn't mean that they're either a single parent, or indeed that the child is theirs.

During the summer I was walking home from the park with a little girl (18 months), pushing her pushchair while she held her hand.

Three (3!) separate people shouted abuse at me for being a 'single teenage mum'.

I was working as an au pair, and the little girl wasn't mine. The fact that I was out in public with her was enough for people to assume that I was an irresponsible 19-year-old mother (despite the fact that I have a huge amount of respect for many teenage parents).

Reply 22

thunder_chunky

19

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

Don't be so judgemental. Yes, the system needs changing, but just focus on your own life. Make sure you're perfect before commenting about others!

So no-one can criticise anyone else unless they are perfect themselves?

Reply 23

vickidc18

15

Original post by Blue_Mason

When I witness a young teen pushing her government funded designer buggy, it just irks me to see a proud expression of entitlement
They do indeed have it very easy as everything eventually gets sorted out for them.
Physically disgusting to witness and a reminder of just how low society has turned

How do you know if she's single though? I mean if I'm walking into town in the day with my daughter I look like a single mum because my partner is at WORK!! I fell pregnant at 19 never claimed a benefit, partner works at Deutsche bank for good money and I work evenings and weekends as well as studying with the OU (start my nurse training soon) we own our own home and work very hard.

Reply 24

Blue_Mason

OP

10

Original post by vickidc18

How do you know if she's single though? I mean if I'm walking into town in the day with my daughter I look like a single mum because my partner is at WORK!! I fell pregnant at 19 never claimed a benefit, partner works at Deutsche bank for good money and I work evenings and weekends as well as studying with the OU (start my nurse training soon) we own our own home and work very hard.

Then you and others should take my opinion with a grain of salt,but my thread is referring to a new generation of single mothers that choose to live in poverty,choose to raise a child in poverty and finally choose to foward a birth that is against the will of common sence.

single-mother-with-baby-007.jpg34.4KB

Reply 25

minimarshmallow

18

Original post by OU Student

Indeed. I see many mothers (from teenagers to older mothers) on their own with a child. Doesn't mean that they're either a single parent, or indeed that the child is theirs.

Exactly, I looked after a (married, part-time working with full-time working husband) friend's little boy, had to take him home on the bus and babysit him for a bit because she'd been called to work while we were out shopping.
I'd just come back from my first year of uni, so nobody had seen me for a year so it was an easy assumption that he was mine, but he wasn't.

Reply 26

Blue_Mason

OP

10

Original post by Swanbow

How do you know she doesn't have a full time job but is just on maternity leave? How do you know she doesn't have a part time job to make ends meet? How do you know she doesn't have a partner who works to provide for her and her child?

And even if she was on benefits I'd rather society provided some sort of support for single mothers than just chuck them on the kerb and leave them in absolute poverty.

Says it all tbh

single-mother-with-baby-007.jpg34.4KB

Reply 27

And then...

14

Young mums have nothing but respect from me, I'm 23 and can't look after myself properly.

Reply 28

TheTipsyTarsier

10

my 20 year old sister has a 2 year old. She's not working so is out all the time with my niece while her partner works full time as a bus driver. She is an excellent mother and her boyfriend works well to support them. She was 18 when she had my niece and I'm so glad she kept her as I love my niece to pieces.

All of my school friends had kids as teens and are all working hard and are all still with the fathers. How dare you assume they are all single just because they are alone at that precise moment. Bloody Nora. And what is your point with that picture? Can a woman not go out for a walk with her child/child she's looking after with comfortable clothes on (nice clothes just get puke and food on) and check her phone for any number of valid reasons? Do you know how hard it is to cart a pram like that around for hours up hills and all sorts? I have probably looked like that a fair few times while I've had my niece.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 29

Blue_Mason

OP

10

Original post by TheTipsyTarsier

my 20 year old sister has a 2 year old. She's not working so is out all the time with my niece while her partner works full time as a bus driver. She is an excellent mother and her boyfriend works well to support them. She was 18 when she had my niece and I'm so glad she kept her as I love my niece to pieces.

All of my school friends had kids as teens and are all working hard and are all still with the fathers. How dare you assume they are all single just because they are alone at that precise moment. Bloody Nora. And what is your point with that picture? Can a woman not go out for a walk with her child/child she's looking after with comfortable clothes on (nice clothes just get puke and food on) and check her phone for any number of valid reasons? Do you know how hard it is to cart a pram like that around for hours up hills and all sorts? I have probably looked like that a fair few times while I've had my niece.

The majority that I have witnessed are in fact single.I mean we all judge eachover ,with valid reasons
If that woman is within a certain area then I am not wrong to assume

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 30

minimarshmallow

18

Original post by Blue_Mason

The majority that I have witnessed are in fact single.I mean we all judge eachover ,with valid reasons
If that woman is within a certain area then I am not wrong to assume

I'm from an area with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country, and was in the town centre where those typically identified as 'scallies' etc. hang around, often with children in prams. However, at 18 years old when I finished my shopping and then got the bus home with a 1 year old in a pram when nobody had seen me around there for a while (because I'd been at uni), you'd have been wrong to make that assumption.

Reply 31

Balloon Baboon

19

Original post by Blue_Mason

The majority that I have witnessed are in fact single.

I'm interested to know how you know (as a fact) they're single?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 32

Youis Trollin

8

Original post by R Dragon

So you're basically jelly that everything "gets sorted out for them" .__.

He is mad bro because the government |Rekt| him \LOOOL\

Reply 33

Gwilym101

17

Original post by Blue_Mason

Says it all tbh

What exactly does this say?

A young woman, in comfortable, clean clothes, answering a phone whilst walking her kid. Hardly out of the ordinary. You can't infer anything else from this photo than she has her kid with her and her phone possibly just went off.

Reply 34

Blue_Mason

OP

10

Original post by Gwilym101

What exactly does this say?

A young woman, in comfortable, clean clothes, answering a phone whilst walking her kid. Hardly out of the ordinary. You can't infer anything else from this photo than she has her kid with her and her phone possibly just went off.

1.Council housing estate in the background
2.Looks young,college age
3.kitted out designer buggy

Reply 35

Gwilym101

17

Original post by Blue_Mason

1.Council housing estate in the background
2.Looks young,college age
3.kitted out designer buggy

1) And? She's walking somewhere, doesn't mean she lives in that building.
2) I've met women in their mid thirties that look 20.
3) And? She could have a partner who works, it could have been a gift, she could have a job.

Reply 36

Courtneey101

2

Such a narrow-minded thing to say. What has age got to do with anything really there are mothers in their 30s that scrounge off benefits it is not just young mums - who actually might need the help. My mum was 17 when she had me but that doesn't automatically mean that she's a bad mum and she hasn't worked her hardest all of her life to provide for me and my brother and she did a good job I'm off to university next year and I'm a nice girl, not a narrow-minded snob. Don't be so judgemental you don't know everyone's circumstances.

Reply 37

Blue_Mason

OP

10

Original post by Courtneey101

Such a narrow-minded thing to say. What has age got to do with anything really there are mothers in their 30s that scrounge off benefits it is not just young mums - who actually might need the help. My mum was 17 when she had me but that doesn't automatically mean that she's a bad mum and she hasn't worked her hardest all of her life to provide for me and my brother and she did a good job I'm off to university next year and I'm a nice girl, not a narrow-minded snob. Don't be so judgemental you don't know everyone's circumstances.

1.It is such an irresponsiblely shelfish thing in being a teenaged single mother at this day of age
2.I see it as more of a ticket reward then an act of welfare
3.Such aged women fail at life,but hey I guess it them a purpose
4.I know well enough to see such common circumstances,getting pregnant at 16 and doing a betec in hairdressing is not a genuine case

Reply 38

Viceroy

15

Original post by Blue_Mason

1.It is such an irresponsiblely shelfish thing in being a teenaged single mother at this day of age
2.I see it as more of a ticket reward then an act of welfare
3.Such aged women fail at life,but hey I guess it them a purpose
4.I know well enough to see such common circumstances,getting pregnant at 16 and doing a betec in hairdressing is not a genuine case

So what about all those guys who fathered the children of these 'irresponsible' women? You can't tell what they did because they don't carry it around with them. Are they as irresponsible as the women? If you're judging the mothers, you should be judging the fathers just as harshly.

That said, I don't think you should be judging anyone because there's absolutely no way of knowing anyone's personal circumstances just by looking at them. All you can tell when you see a woman with a baby is that she is a woman who happens to be holding a baby: doesn't have to be hers, doesn't have to be single, doesn't have to be skimming benefits.