Gah I've had an awful day. Rant alert!
My uni tutor came to see me period 1. I got to school to find an email that said to send period 1 classes for an assembly. Really annoying as I'd spent like a week fine tuning this lesson plan, only to find half the lesson would be taken off me! So my tutor and a random teacher observed half an hour of my lesson, then we had the review afterwards. At our uni we are split in to either minimum, good or high levels of meeting the teaching standards. I got minimum for all which is fine, but there were two standards where this teacher started saying he wasn't sure if I was doing that and I just thought he was being awkward. My mentor is off ill and he is filling in for her. He's seen me teach twice, so how can he possibly comment on how I am meeting these standards?
Then we were talking about SEND pupils, and I admitted that I hadn't differentiated for any of the SEN pupils in my classes as they worked fine doing the normal work, and also I had never seen my mentor differentiate for these pupils. I got majorly told off for saying that last bit, but I genuinely wasn't criticising her teaching, but as a trainee I obviously take in what I observe, so if she didn't make any special provisions, I thought they must be doing fine then and I didn't change that.
It just really annoys me how we are jumping through hoops to meet these standards and I feel that most of the teachers I've observed don't actually meet a lot of these standards anyway, and then start telling me to do things I've never seen them doing.
Anyway following this my uni tutor decided the half hour lesson wasn't enough so she asked to observe my period 3 lesson. This was a lesson I hadn't planned on her seeing so I was bit nervous, but said she could. The class were a nightmare and didn't do much work. I tried my best to manage behaviour and I feel for the stage I'm at in my PGCE, I only did what I could do. The hour after this was basically my uni tutor telling me how crap that lesson was and giving me an hours worth of criticism, even though I personally feel I reacted how any trainee would have reacted at this stage.
The whole day for me today has been criticism after criticism and I feel I have received no praise whatsoever, even though I think certain aspects of my lessons went well and I feel all this negative feedback is undeserved. Also, as a person, I need praise to keep on going. When I hear this amount of negative feedback, I just want to drop out of the course as I just don't see the point. I just feel like I'm an awful teacher now with no prospects. I thought I was making good progress but that's gone out of the window
I know this is a big rant but it's just nice to get it off my chest.