The Miscellaneous Thread

You an expert with women as well?

Yeah man, tbh I'm not sure I can be bothered to chat on Fb...

Really annoys me that women have all the power in dating when you are in your 20s, they are the ones that get to say yes or no and get to decide speed and terms. So annoying man. Another reason why I'm anti-Feminism in the modern age.

I'm telling your mum so you're sent back to Dhaka. I hear the Indian football commentary of the premier league is stellar.

More so I'm ok with the initial concept/idea of it but don't think it's carried out/campaigned for in the right way. E.g think a lot of feminists are too extreme and anti male

It's just one of those things, bit like communism.

X

I do actually agree with the core values but this modern feminism is basically an ostentatious cult, it's just a middle class white student women's bonding thing while posturing as victims when they aren't.

They think they know more about racism than minorities for ****'s sake. That actually bugs me. If you are from Surrey and the closest you've been to a black* person is hearing ****** in Paris on radio you can stick your ****ing lecture up your ****.

*Sorry, POC

A bengali girl like you should be focusing on her studies and not relationships!

Indeed, indeed. Ask them if they care about minority women working their fingers to the bone in Primark sweat shops for the clothes they wear. Essentially, modern feminist groups are self-interest groups, more a pressure group for their own intents and purposes rather than a drive for all women. Throw in the token trip to Africa campaign and it all seems legitimate though right?

The absolute worst are your upper middle class types that think that just because they have studied a 'relevant' module here or there they are qualified to lecture/ 'educate' that minority about their own culture/heritage. This is a different type of racism, one that is so convinced by it's own intellectualism that they believe themselves superior/more qualified and tbh, most likely even more racist than your average skinhead on the street. Because they guys have half backed up academic arguments they have spent the time to think about...

Thanks James, sound advice. I hope one day I can become a peer-acclaimed connoisseur of women as well.

What's your strategy with women? Do you feed their egos and chase or do you sit back like Don Draper and let them come to you?

Just wait it out, no need to rush things. See where the conversation goes. Like I say there's a million possible reasons. Not that it has to be said, but don't invest too much emotionally into her.

Depends on the girl and how much I like her, strategy always changes. I tend to prefer girls 16-21 (I'm 21) so its a lot easier to pull than it is for your average high flying career-woman-to-be in her later years of uni but the rules don't change too much. Be funny.

So you prey on the naive amirite. Why not go for someone career-driven? Would be good for yourself.

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No, I like younger girls because they're more playful and fun and make me feel younger. I'm a kid at heart.

And the girls I pick are always career driven/extremely clever.

You don't need to feel younger you're still young. At your age primary focus should be on how to make $$$ (therefore career choice).

Difference between being career driven at 16 and 21 as you well know. Settle down with someone on the brink of a high end job.
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Nah, I like feeling younger, I feel as if I've lived 2 or 3 years too many. I was overworked as a kid. I'll have conversations with girls which most could class as immature but I'd enjoy them a lot.

Well I'm not looking to settle down immediately either - I want the girl to be driven and intelligent, but your assertion that essentially 'being driven at 16 is meaningless' isn't one I agree with.

Since you've been talking for only 4 days she might feel like it's progressing too quickly and she probably wants to find out more about you and if your 'Mr Right' for her. Talking with her on FB is a good start since she obviously seems keen on you for wanting to carry on chatting. I say give it a bit more time and let her feel more comfortable talking to you and then set up a date. Also, she might be worried about your intentions for wanting to see her so soon i.e. you only want to have sex with her. It's going to take a little bit of time and you don't want to rush into a relationship just for the sake of it. Good luck Eb, I hope things work out for you.

I absolutely disagree, change the state of play. Women are afraid of being rejected by high value men and especially high value men they like. Hell, read the relationship forum threads from young women here, full of angst. With that mind, I am not a betting man, but I bet that if you built up a rapport/banter with her and then ****ed off for a few days... that would definitely **** with her mind. It's all a play.

There's several facets to this thing.
1. What you bring to the table. Do you have aspects of yourself that trumps her value? Can you bring it to light without having so much arrogance that turns her away too soon?

The main "power" of women you speak of in their 20's is that they have choice. If they obviously have this power, take away this power, put yourself into centre stage in her mind. You do this by also having choice in your life and being clever about it without burning the bridges you have built.

2. Chemistry. I believe this can be created by men who are naturally smooth with it or are experienced after a lot of trial and error. Imo if she is not a slut, you need the chemistry and sometimes the fear of losing you/losing you to a rival for your affection.

3. Be bold. Men who ponce around get put in the friend zone as they don't have the bravery, it communicates the wrong qualities. It's like being a striker, you don't score if you are not brave. If you miss? Play it down and be unaffected to her face. Call it mistake if you must and move on to other girls whilst keeping her on the backburner.

These three facets btw are what the stereotypical complaining "nice guy" tend to miss. They have no qualities usually except from being nice. But they were 'nice' right and she should date them because of that?

Thanks for this Joker, interesting to hear the girls perspective. Yeah, I understand that some folks wouldn't be comfortable meeting someone online they met four days ago...not sure I would tbh. It was just, previously was chatting to a lady for about two weeks, and a friend said I'd left it too long, so this time I figured just go for it. Yeah, I'm not just trying to get sex tbh, that's easy enough at uni, I'm thinking she might be worth the longer game. Thanks again.



I should have come to the master of dating before hand, cheers Tom. I understand that mind games are required early on. You need to become the Fergie or Mourinho. My record is a bit hit and miss really, perhaps you'd call me the Danny Welbeck of dating. I've had times where I've hit the back of the net (dating) and I've had times where I've hit row z (friendzone). Hopefully this time will be like Wayne Rooney today.

Yeah man, generally I'm not into that nice guy crap. In first year at uni when I got friendzoned I just ended the friendship despite her pleas and never spoke to her again, I like to be a bit ruthless like that. Generally I prefer my female friends to be ugly/non suitable personalities, just works best for me. What would you do in this scenario? Would you allow a facebook convo? My initial thoughts was leave it a few days and return with a cheeky banterous message joking that she's playing hard to get...but honestly Mr Ford, I'm unsure at this one, not really an expert on online dating. Cheers man.

Fair enough I suppose, I ain't judging. Don't you feel like there's a point you want something more though, someone to share your aspirations with and just talk about, to bluntly put it, more grown up things? I sometimes feel that I think deeper than those my own age.

It's a stereotype sure but we both know it's usually true. Not to say meaningless but on a different spectrum to that of a 21 year old who knows themselves and their limitations more. It's not even criticising, heck the way i imagined life at 16 is way different to how it is now and I'm only 3 years older than that.

Maybe I can play for the Bangladesh team then haha

I think being older helps set a natural, friendly kind of dominance/maturity and that probably helps me hide my insecurities as well.

No offence but think it stems down to your last point.

Not having a go at you here it's an issue in general. It's when girls marry guys old enough to be their father (and vice versa with the whole "toyboy" culture. When people are at different stages in life it doesn't work. Not to say I find an relationship, say, a 25 year old girl with a 45 year old man IF they are at the same stage in life. Problem is, this rarely happens and I just don't see how it is compatible. It's the same with 21 year olds and 16 year olds. On the whole, the average 21 year old is a graduate/final year uni student whilst a 16 year old is either GCSE's or AS Level. It's different stages in life, and in a way they need to be seperate. It makes no difference once in a working environment, to an extent, but in younger years it seems nonsensical to me to date someone out of your stage of life category. Feels like people either need to grow up or value themselves more, usually the latter. Now the common response to this is girls are more mature than guys their own age, it's something that's been drilled into me from society really. I really don't see it- like everything else it is on a situational basis. It's probably come across as a rant and/or bitterness and it probably is to an extent. What I was trying to say anyway that dating someone in a different stage of life to yourself is unwise, and only in theory does it make sense.


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