Christmas holidays have made me see reality..

I got in a relationship with my boyfriend approximately a year ago, and everything was absolutely perfect. Unfortunately things were a bit complicated.
Basically, I had already kissed one of my bestestest friends (boy 1), who is in my friendship group and that's in the past already. Boy 1 and I were so, so close but my boyfriend pretty much made me lose contact with him, but I do miss boy 1 a LOT.

My boyfriend goes to the same uni as me now and we have become so argumentative since, and he spent xmas with us (we do dinner etc on christmas eve) and yesterday he asked me to come over to his, but I couldn't immediately. Long story short the **** word came out a lot, and I generally felt uncomfortable with the ultimatums he gave me..

The thing is, he spends so much moeny on me so we do amazing things! and we have so many plans.. but then we argue so much recently and he doesn't approve of my friendship group, yet complains when I become dependent on him.

So what do I do??
Sorry that was the short version of the story.

I also let everything out to boy 1 at a house party a few days ago. it was sad but he understands.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

VoodooTik

Not so sure what you want us to decide for you - do you still want to be with him? If you're willing to work through the arguments so you can taste some of that fine wine with him, then do that. You should try and ask what he wants from you exactly (aside from the ultimatums).

Me personally, if my gf wasn't cool with my friendship group, I wouldn't stay with her for long... Plus, if she was making some ridiculous ultimatums, I'd probably tell her to f off and do one.

At the end of the day, it is up to you whether you decide to continue to hump him or dump him...

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by VoodooTik

Yeah I am sort of thinking the same, my friends mean the world to me and it's been so nice being reunited with them, but I still feel immensely guilty spending time with them.
I think it's harder because I find uni so tough, and then I just feel like I'll be alone. God, that's sad isn't it!? why is everyone at uni so loved up and preoccupied with their relationships!?

Reply 3

VoodooTik

So, you don't have any single friends you can chill with at all? What about boy 1? Is he still single? I'm not asking you to get with him, but you could hang with him again?

Reply 4

username1221364

Original post by Anonymous

I think it would be worth it in the long run to be lonely for a while but be free from all the stress. Your friends were there before your boyfriend, right? He has no right to tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. If anything you should be the one issuing an ultimatum.

Reply 5

Stewie2011

Just go for the guy you are most attracted to, simple as, don't know why girls always seem to go with some guy there not that into just because he asked her/asked her first, it just brings misery all around. Plus it sounds like the guy you are currently with is using his money just so he can keep getting some, can never be a long term solution to happyness, ditch him I would.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by VoodooTik

So, you don't have any single friends you can chill with at all? What about boy 1? Is he still single? I'm not asking you to get with him, but you could hang with him again?

Yes he is, in fact my friends at home are all great and don't prioritise their relationships - it's uni that's the real issue and probably the miserable part of my life! I've been talking to boy 1 and we're still good friends )

Original post by Coffeetime

I'm thinking that too, especailly when I have a year abroad coming up and I suffer badly from anxiety. I guess, like a lot of people, I just get scared. I want to still ahve my boyfriend in my life, but not to the extreme as it feels as though he goes very hypocritical and I'm suddenly feeling like I'm missing out on experiences like visiting my friends at their universities and stuff, because he doesn't like them.

Original post by Stewie2011

hahaha it does sound like that a bit doesn't it? But obviously money doesn't bring happiness and I suppose at the start I was amazed by all the things we went and did, but then in the long term, I want to experience some of those things with the people I've grown up with and who have helped mould me as a person.