Giving but not Receiving

Don't give him oral until he gives you oral - in general

And more specifically always make sure he does oral first so he's horny enough to be in the mood...

Has he ever tried it with you or has he always refused from the outset?

I've tried it but I do enjoy giving I just wish he would return the favour!

He has done it a few times yes - during the early times of our relationship he would do it for a brief time like 3 minutes but it didn't really phase me but the whole sexual relationship thing was new to me (I lost my v to him) but later on he did it a bit again and I really liked it, I've expressed this to him he just won't give

Well that's a tough one then especially since he's tried it before and lost interest in doing it...

I fail to see what you can do other than blackmail him in the short-term till he gets back into it him given that you have already tried to talk to him about this.

Could pubic hair be an issue?

It probably is the taste and smell, he's just obviously not going to say that.

Well this is clearly unfair and he is being incredibly selfish, if this was the other way round and a guy was saying he always goes down on his girlfriend but she never reciprocates pretty much all the guys would be saying to leave her if she refuses to give oral.

Explain to him how selfish he is being, if his behaviour doesn't change decide how important it is to you and if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who not only doesn't satisfy you sexually but who is selfish and expects from you what he will not give.

Thank you so much for your reply - I have mentioned this to him before and he has actually said he wouldn't care if I stopped giving it to him; although I believe that this is just bull because he always (he even says he's joking but I know him; he isn't) asks me to do it in some way or another.

I will try again and explain to him of his selfishness and such. I don't think I could ever leave him but it is fairly important to me... I think I just have to be brutal and just refuse to please him orally to see how he feels about it.

Then I suggest testing to see how much he actually does care, but even so if that does not change him you're both just going to be sexually unsatisfied and that'll solve nothing.

Well this is clearly unfair and he is being incredibly selfish, if this was the other way round and a guy was saying he always goes down on his girlfriend but she never reciprocates pretty much all the guys would be saying to leave her if she refuses to give oral.

Explain to him how selfish he is being, if his behaviour doesn't change decide how important it is to you and if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who not only doesn't satisfy you sexually but who is selfish and expects from you what he will not give.

Well this is the only reason I would suggest the blackmail, otherwise the blackmail is unethical, but this is clearly an unfair situation he's putting her in in the first place.

Maybe "blackmail" is the wrong word because I don't think the threats to cut off the oral at his end are unjustified.

I will - if nothing does change then well. Perhaps I just have to go without...

Well this is the only reason I would suggest the blackmail, otherwise the blackmail is unethical, but this is clearly an unfair situation he's putting her in in the first place.

Maybe "blackmail" is the wrong word because I don't think the threats to cut off the oral at his end are unjustified.

Oh and if there has been no solution down the line in a few weeks you could show him this thread to illustrate how much of a big deal it actually is to you - so much so that it has clearly been on your mind for a while and that it is such an important part of your sex life that he's denying you that you felt the need to post for help about it on an internet forum to strangers.

Yeah I'm not sure I'd class it as blackmail either, I think it is completely fair to refuse to give oral if he refuses.

Pretty much in the same boat, but you just accept that they're not fond of it. It's rare I ever receive anything like that even though I frequently give to my girlfriend.

You just have to accept that it's like that. No blackmailing though because it'll lead to arguments.


Also calling him selfish isn't gonna fix anything either. He doesn't like doing it, don't make him feel bad for doing something he doesn't like because it'll become a chore and kill the mood. You say you do it because you love him and you want to make him feel good, but you also said you enjoy doing it.

There are many more ways to do foreplay, just accept that one of the ways is a no-go.

I would say this is good advice - but I expect you orgasm through intercourse, right? I get nothing. If I do, it is from myself.

He doesn't like doing it but he hasn't really tried. He has done it a few times but it was in the earlier part of our so far 4 year relationship..

Clearly if I do it because I love him, and he should do the same yes? Otherwise, he doesn't love me.

There are other ways yes but they aren't regular either. I give him oral, and he gets orgasms from both that and intercourse. I get nothing - as I said, unless its from myself. So...

Well, intercourse is somewhat of a complication with my girlfriend and I so it's not often I orgasm. [[Well, we rarely get to see eachother too because of long distance, but that's another thing]]

My girlfriend doesn't like doing it, she's only done it 3 times in the 3 years we've been together.

The whole "if he doesn't then he doesn't love me" thing is blackmail. Really, it's blackmail. You're making him feel bad for not doing something he dislikes. If you push him it'll be half-hearted and unenthusiastic and things could turn sour between you purely because you're pushing him.

I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting the full sexual satisfaction but I suggest trying out some non-penetrative sex? It works wonders when you find what's good for the both of you

Discuss it with him but if he's inflexible, there's not much you can do. Perhaps see if it's fixable. Maybe you need to improve your sanitation.

If not, I guess you'll have to decide whether receiving oral sex or not is a deal breaker. Perhaps there are other things he can do to pleasure you that he's not yet doing.