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pregnant, muslim, not married

Would like some advice please. I'm not going to write full story. I want some replies from muslims and non muslims

I got pregnant exactly 2 years ago from my bf who is non muslim. My family found this out in the most awful way and we're forcing me to have abortion. I ran away to my bfs house. His parents were unsupportive and we had to leave after a night. We stayed in hotels..my mum eventually met me after few days and I finally agreed to have abortion. They also made it clear I was to cut all ties with him

fast forward 2 years to now. We continues relationship...and it got sexual again. I found out a week ago I'm pregnant again. My family hate him especially because he's non muslim ..still waiting for a decent job and also because he never told then at the start he was seeing me. I work part time I do have some money but I can't live by myself and support myself. Im also mot 100 percent well. I booked myself for another abortion but I'm having doubts.. i don't know what the right thing to do. I can't tell my family. Me and bf were gonna go our separate ways before this because ultimately he wants to be loyal to his roman Catholic faith. But now things have changed. What is the best thing to do. Bearing in mind my family will slaughter me if they find this out ...

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Reply 1

bittr n swt

Jeez you're about to have a second abortion... Use some protection.

If your family will slaughter you then just cut ties with them. Keep the baby and raise ii

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Also I pray everyday sincerely from my heart ..and I'm not getting any sign that continuing with pregnancy is right thing to do. I feel that if god wanted me to continue and leave my sins behind and be a single mother because my bf would never Convert I would have had a sign by now ...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I forget to mention my parents health isn't the best...ie high blood pressure diabetic ...going ahead with pregnancy and cutting all ties could cause the ur health to plummet ...ultimately iv been very unhappy due to many things and iv wanted a baby for a long time because I thought the only thing that could make me feel whole again.

Reply 4

bittr n swt

Original post by Anonymous

Out of interest, how can a non muslim have pre marital sex?

Obviously the decision is up to you, if you feel you want to abort it then it's your choice. But you really need to get control of your life.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by bittr n swt

they can't.....

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Well he's not been a very good roman Catholic....

Reply 7

hothedgehog

Well it's impossible for anyone here to make a judgement. However, some things to think about are how much does your religion mean to you? and how much does your boyfriend's religion mean to him? Because if you're thinking of the abortion and breaking up because of what you believe in then that's a justified reason but if you're doing it because of the pressure of your parents' religions then that's less of a decision for you and more of a decision for them. However, saying that, only you can know what response your parents are going to have - it sounds like your parents aren't likely to ditch you completely as they helped last time so perhaps they could be brought around to the situation if you decided to keep the child. The other thing to consider is whether you two can practically look after a child at this point in your life. I don't know where you are but I would say it's not fair to have a child if you can't support yourselves and the potential child. So, lots of things to think about before you decide.

Reply 8

chocolatesauce

Tbh both of you have done immoral things according to your religion but second time- use PROTECTION!

Do what you think is correct but remember you may regret it in the future.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by bittr n swt

Sorry I meant how can a Muslim have pre marital sex....

They can't. I know very well due to a host of reasons. We rarely had it but all it takes is one occasion. We both now know we would never have it ...its just wrong....

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

@hotdog etc. ..

My religion is very important to me ..even though this thread makes me look like a ist class slut. Iv been trying to be a better person last few months. My bf has been getting back into his faith as well. We were gonna go our separate ways quite soon no matter how much we love each other because we will never be the sane religion. And my parents are very AGAINST these kind of things. Last time there was he'll at my house and my brother who's a dick. ..started threatening me. I had to run away. My parents last time made it clear that I would have to move away really far from them they would disown me..and my child would be known as a bastard. They don't want me to ruin the family name. Practically firstly my health is poor. I can't work full time and support myself. Bf has mo jo atm. Waiting to pass officer exam to become officer in army. His parents are very unsupportive in fact they hate his guts. I just can't see how we could raise a baby. Obviously I feel terrible every day but realistically I can't hurt my parents again. It would be the end of them ...

Reply 11

Afghan Warrior

Haven't you heard of contraception? There's like 16 different types to suit your preferences. Also it's free! Silly and very irresponsible to get pregnant again

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Reply 12

That Was So Funny!

Ooooo aaaa yeah great guys, pull them down. They have been indoctrinated their whole lives and this is really helping

OP, since when was making babies a bad thing? This is your chance for a new life. Run away with your boyfriend and start a family. You'll do great

Reply 13

That Was So Funny!

Watch the movie Drive. It has nothing in common with your situation but it'll make you think about starting a family

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by That Was So Funny!

a baby is a blessing. But I can't marry him and we can't stay bf and gf even if he said I can bring up child as muslim. It's not allowed. He can't support me atm...he's still trying to find a job! I can't support myself. I am not 100 percent well. These days the council doesn't just give houses to any pregnant person....If I used my savings whilst private renting..and considering I work pt btw on a self employed non stable basis and bf has mo money coming in I would be homeless I'm few months. There also seems to be a consensus that a baby from zina which is fornication..should be aborted. Some scholars say that others say no. I want to keep baby no matter how ill I am but everything is against me.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

It seems like I'll have to have abortion and we go our separate ways and ill repent for the rest of my life :frown:

Reply 16

That Was So Funny!

Original post by Anonymous

Why can't you get married ? Religion ? Surely a family with a baby who they teach to be a great human being is a beautiful thing

Don't let money get in the way. There's alswsys a way to get by and money shouldn't affect you. You'll find a way

Reply 17

That Was So Funny!

Original post by Anonymous

It seems like I'll have to have abortion and we go our separate ways and ill repent for the rest of my life :frown:

Keep this baby, take care of it and teach it so when he/she grows up and becomes successful you'll be happy you chose to keep it because of the positive impact it made on the world

Reply 18

Enoxial

Original post by Anonymous

Did no one give you the relationships aren't allowed speech?

Btw just calm down.

Reply 19

anonymouspie227

if he's just staying with you because of the baby- I wouldn't commit to him. I agree with your decision to abort the baby simply because your situation sounds extremely messy and doesn't sound like it would be healthy for a baby to be raised in such a hostile environment