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Facebook and ex classmates

Alright so I have Facebook right now and the reason I have it is because i'm on a gap year and I don't really keep in contact. But to me its depressing sometimes seeing pictures of what people are doing. I try and write statuses and rarely are they liked, maybe the odd time but most times no one interacts - even with normal statuses. I even posted an interesting albulm of my holiday to America and not one person liked a single pictures? I don't know if this is jealousy or my pictures are boring??

I've noticed that people are using facebook as a popularity kind of thing and comment alot on "popular" people. I am now 19 and left school in June, I was happy to reach 19 as I felt that finally people would grow up and drop this nonsense because of maturing attitude..

I would honestly love to delete Facebook but I don't really have much contact due to gap year. Although it knocks my confidence and makes me feel like there is something weird and odd about me.

I am trying to get a solution to this but for me I can and have never been able to get Facebook to work with me, it doesn't matter who I have added or how many people I have added I rarely get a like or comment. It almost seems as though there is an invisible negative image around me.

I have been unpopular or at least not got many friends all through secondary school and people called me "gay" even though I am not (don't care anyway why does it matter) so no one bothered with me and it really does make me feel like crying when I think back and in a way I still kind of feel as though these people still see me like this. I have been trying to get validation from these people for years and I am quite surprised that they still see me in a negative light. I am worried about university and I hope it isn't like this!! I want my potential to be gained.

I look in the mirror and see a normal late teen yet I don't have too many friends and I have no confidence and always feel as though I have to beat myself up alot. I am sick of trying to get approval.
(edited 9 years ago)

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Wait so you want it to keep contact, but you want people to like your photos and stuff more? I don't understand why you have people on facebook that see you in a negative light...?
I think just try to make a fresh start at uni. At the end of the day, if people from school never really seemed to want to be good friends with you, I can't imagine they'll suddenly start now.

So yeah, don't be disheartened, make an effort at uni, and hopefully things will work out well for you. :smile:
Facebook likes don't mean a thing I get tons myself and think nothing of it


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What are you doing with your gap year? Focus on the future and forget about the petty school nonsense. You have the opportunity to make proper friends and to have a fresh start. Forget about facebook.
Reply 5
''The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.''


You will be fine. You'll make friends at uni. You will have a good time. Just remember, this pain is temporary.
Original post by Swanbow
You will be fine. You'll make friends at uni. You will have a good time. Just remember, this pain is temporary.


Damn that's a good quote.
I personally think using Facebook as a means of validation of one's popularity will only hurt you in the long term. So long as what you're doing makes you happy, who cares how many likes you'll get if you post it on Facebook?
Don't compare yourself to other people, even though that may be the hardest thing to do as it's automatic, and you'll be happier. People come and go in life, so just make the most of the friends you trust whilst they're there and don't bother about the ones who don't matter/are negative about you.
Reply 8
Original post by L'Evil Fish
Damn that's a good quote.


I saw the insecurity one on StumbleUpon the other day, just seems so relevant when it comes to people and facebook.
jut don't really go on it other than to speak to people... thats what i do- fb and social media is a load of bull really
Original post by Swanbow
I saw the insecurity one on StumbleUpon the other day, just seems so relevant when it comes to people and facebook.


With any form of social media really, Facebook, Instagram, heck even snapchat stories :lol:
I only have around 20-30 people on Facebook. I deleted most of them as they weren't family, close friends or people from work. Why else would I keep them on my Facebook? What I do with my life is none of their business and likes don't matter. What matters is being able to communicate with the people that do matter. To be honest, Facebook has no more use to me than MSN did years ago now.
You could make a new fb account. I did so a few years ago.

Alternatively, you can adjust your newsfeed settings to completely hide or minimise the frequency of appearance of people that depress you. Fb is very editable.
Original post by Frostyjoe
Alright so I have Facebook right now and the reason I have it is because i'm on a gap year and I don't really keep in contact. But to me its depressing sometimes seeing pictures of what people are doing. I try and write statuses and rarely are they liked, maybe the odd time but most times no one interacts - even with normal statuses. I even posted an interesting albulm of my holiday to America and not one person liked a single pictures? I don't know if this is jealousy or my pictures are boring??

I've noticed that people are using facebook as a popularity kind of thing and comment alot on "popular" people. I am now 19 and left school in June, I was happy to reach 19 as I felt that finally people would grow up and drop this nonsense because of maturing attitude..

I would honestly love to delete Facebook but I don't really have much contact due to gap year. Although it knocks my confidence and makes me feel like there is something weird and odd about me.

I am trying to get a solution to this but for me I can and have never been able to get Facebook to work with me, it doesn't matter who I have added or how many people I have added I rarely get a like or comment. It almost seems as though there is an invisible negative image around me.

I have been unpopular or at least not got many friends all through secondary school and people called me "gay" even though I am not (don't care anyway why does it matter) so no one bothered with me and it really does make me feel like crying when I think back and in a way I still kind of feel as though these people still see me like this. I have been trying to get validation from these people for years and I am quite surprised that they still see me in a negative light. I am worried about university and I hope it isn't like this!! I want my potential to be gained.

I look in the mirror and see a normal late teen yet I don't have too many friends and I have no confidence and always feel as though I have to beat myself up alot. I am sick of trying to get approval.


People in school, their attitudes etc are nothing, nobodies. Why on earth would you let teenage classmates influence your mood? I find a lot of my past classmates news posts a joke, in fact I had to unfollow a **** ton of them because all they upload are their baby photos (no one cares) or something about food.

In contrast since school I have travelled the world, met amazing people and gone on incredible adventures.

In short dont give them the power, dont let you mood be influenced by social proof of how many likes you get. GO and meet wonderful people at uni and from hobbies.
I know how you feel but in reality when I post stuff I post it cos I'm expressing myself not cos I want people to like them. Facebook is sort of a popularity contest. You see those with 1,000+ friends. I myself don't have many because I choose to only add people I've actually spoken with. Don't let them determine your mood or if you're an interesting person. In a few years time those people will be irrelevant. Live your life and don't worry about mundane things such as Facebook.
you've described the biggest problem with that - people looking for validation from others to increase self esteem. facebook means **** all in the long term, do something productive with your gap year and make effort to find friends at uni and it should all go well:biggrin:
I always get a lot of ''likes'' and 90% of them are from people I haven't spoken to in ages. Why does it matter?
Reply 17
I'll give you a like son, always remember that
Reply 18
Original post by sr90
I always get a lot of ''likes'' and 90% of them are from people I haven't spoken to in ages. Why does it matter?


I always use it more for somewhere to air my thoughts.. Its not really anything big. I do so in order to destress.

I don't expect a whole tone of likes but its embaressing when no one commemts
I don't think I've ever "liked" a holiday photo or any photo album of my friends doing something on Facebook unless I was with them and are tagged in the pictures. The things I tend to click like for are funny pics/videos that people share, and sarcastic status updates that make me laugh.

Amuse people ... that's what gets likes.

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