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Why do guys NOT reply to messages

I have heard people say if a guy does not reply to your message it is because he doesn't like you. Well ok fine, why don't guys just say it straight out 'I am not into you' instead of getting a girl's hope high.

Most guys have said it just seems cruel to say straight to a girl that they are not interested so they rather slowly cut off contact and hope the girl gets the hint that they are no longer interested. But surely a guy would see this is more cruel than actually saying I am not interested.

I texted a guy once who then didn't reply, I thought ok he did say to email him (we were living quite far from each other). So I thought ok then I will, he then replied back to my email and I wrote him back and he never replied. I felt like he did this just to hurt me, to get my hopes high and just crush them.

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Original post by Anonymous

Most guys have said it just seems cruel to say straight to a girl that they are not interested so they rather slowly cut off contact and hope the girl gets the hint that they are no longer interested. But surely a guy would see this is more cruel than actually saying I am not interested.


You're missing a fundamental point here. If a guy isn't interested in you, why would he have any reason to be interested in how cruel his response (or lack thereof) to you is? Most guys will just take the path of least resistance and the one that causes the least headaches for them, and in most cases silence is less likely to induce drama than saying something negative.


Plus sometimes guys genuinely just can't be bothered replying, we're lazy. I typically only reply to a message if it has some type of question or open-ended thing that requires a response ... if I read it and no response is required, I generally won't respond. Simples.
Bloody annoying isn't it? :tongue:

Just don't take it to heart OP, most of the time it's probably not done with that intention in mind.
I did this to a girl recently, and now another girl is doing it to me, but she actually starts messaging me and then when I reply she ignores my reply.

it is annoying, I already decided I will not message her again, she is really hot but I am not going to get a heart attack wondering if every text alert I get is her.
Reply 4
Original post by IanDangerously
You're missing a fundamental point here. If a guy isn't interested in you, why would he have any reason to be interested in how cruel his response (or lack thereof) to you is? Most guys will just take the path of least resistance and the one that causes the least headaches for them, and in most cases silence is less likely to induce drama than saying something negative.


Plus sometimes guys genuinely just can't be bothered replying, we're lazy. I typically only reply to a message if it has some type of question or open-ended thing that requires a response ... if I read it and no response is required, I generally won't respond. Simples.


Dislike your generalizations here. Just because you or some guys would choose to ignore how cruel their response is, doesn't mean every guy is automatically a dick when it comes to girls they have no chance with. A decent human being would try to be nice to everyone whenever possible, regardless of whether they could get into said person's pants.

Agree with your second part though, some guys cannot be bothered to reply, especially when the person says something that doesn't necessitate a response (e.g a question). Still, some guys choose silence because they are annoyed at another person and don't want to talk to them.
If someone doesn't respond then just...move on. They're either not interested or didn't think you deserved a response in which case they're not really worth getting upset over.
Reply 6
Original post by Maths and cheesecake
I did this to a girl recently, and now another girl is doing it to me, but she actually starts messaging me and then when I reply she ignores my reply.

it is annoying, I already decided I will not message her again, she is really hot but I am not going to get a heart attack wondering if every text alert I get is her.


Strangely enough, I had someone who used to do that. Would message me out of the blue and then when I replied, ignored it.... Confusing as hell.
Ngl, I think girls do the same (if not more). I always make the effort to reply whereas I'm sometimes waiting two/three days for a reply or not at all..
Original post by Kovu
Strangely enough, I had someone who used to do that. Would message me out of the blue and then when I replied, ignored it.... Confusing as hell.

The text always starts with "whats up" then we have maybe two exchanges before she decides to stop responding. I have tried ignoring the "whats up" but when I do she sends me more messages like "what you doing" "where are you" and apologies about being busy last time she ignored me.

I am starting to think I am that guy you text when you are bored and have literally nothing else to do, and I refuse to be that guy to her. :tongue:
Original post by Precious Illusions
If someone doesn't respond then just...move on. They're either not interested or didn't think you deserved a response in which case they're not really worth getting upset over.


Unrelated, but if that's you in your avatar, I like your style :smile:
Reply 10
Original post by Maths and cheesecake
The text always starts with "whats up" then we have maybe two exchanges before she decides to stop responding. I have tried ignoring the "whats up" but when I do she sends me more messages like "what you doing" "where are you" and apologies about being busy last time she ignored me.

I am starting to think I am that guy you text when you are bored and have literally nothing else to do, and I refuse to be that guy to her. :tongue:


I just deleted mine the other day. It's alright to NOT talk to me, that's fine but don't start a conversation multiple times and then not bother replying, it's just rude :tongue:
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
I have heard people say if a guy does not reply to your message it is because he doesn't like you. Well ok fine, why don't guys just say it straight out 'I am not into you' instead of getting a girl's hope high.

Most guys have said it just seems cruel to say straight to a girl that they are not interested so they rather slowly cut off contact and hope the girl gets the hint that they are no longer interested. But surely a guy would see this is more cruel than actually saying I am not interested.

I texted a guy once who then didn't reply, I thought ok he did say to email him (we were living quite far from each other). So I thought ok then I will, he then replied back to my email and I wrote him back and he never replied. I felt like he did this just to hurt me, to get my hopes high and just crush them.

This is both a male AND female trick. And to be honest the message is clear, no reply = no interest. Its not realistic to expect love interests to initially spell out that they are not interested, you just have to judge via their enthusiasm.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by IanDangerously
You're missing a fundamental point here. If a guy isn't interested in you, why would he have any reason to be interested in how cruel his response (or lack thereof) to you is? Most guys will just take the path of least resistance and the one that causes the least headaches for them, and in most cases silence is less likely to induce drama than saying something negative.


Plus sometimes guys genuinely just can't be bothered replying, we're lazy. I typically only reply to a message if it has some type of question or open-ended thing that requires a response ... if I read it and no response is required, I generally won't respond. Simples.


Seriously this makes much more sense now. Especially how guys don't respond to a text unless an answer is required
Eh, I sometimes don't reply because I'm too lazy, but I normally reply within a day.
Original post by GeorgeBuxey94
Ngl, I think girls do the same (if not more). I always make the effort to reply whereas I'm sometimes waiting two/three days for a reply or not at all..


Normally I wouldn't agree I used to respond immediately unless I was busy. But I remember once I replied quickly and the guys response was 'Ohh that was quick'. From then on I usually try to leave a bit of time before I reply so I don't look desperate, I don't do it as a game. Whereas I think most guys I assume would think a girl's delayed reply is part of a girl's master game plan.
Original post by Anonymous
I have heard people say if a guy does not reply to your message it is because he doesn't like you. Well ok fine, why don't guys just say it straight out 'I am not into you' instead of getting a girl's hope high.

Most guys have said it just seems cruel to say straight to a girl that they are not interested so they rather slowly cut off contact and hope the girl gets the hint that they are no longer interested. But surely a guy would see this is more cruel than actually saying I am not interested.

I texted a guy once who then didn't reply, I thought ok he did say to email him (we were living quite far from each other). So I thought ok then I will, he then replied back to my email and I wrote him back and he never replied. I felt like he did this just to hurt me, to get my hopes high and just crush them.



I normally do this.. it seems too harsh to just tell someone 'I don't like you.'
Especially as it might get awkward if they actually just think of you as a friend and are just messaging you constantly for no reason..

I don't straight ignore people, just reply bluntly or take a while to reply. Guys usually get the hint, I'd certainly get the hint if a guy did it to me. I'd rather that than them just saying 'I don't like you, go away.'
Original post by Anonymous
Normally I wouldn't agree I used to respond immediately unless I was busy. But I remember once I replied quickly and the guys response was 'Ohh that was quick'. From then on I usually try to leave a bit of time before I reply so I don't look desperate, I don't do it as a game. Whereas I think most guys I assume would think a girl's delayed reply is part of a girl's master game plan.


Nah I'm more pessimistic and just think there's no reason why they'd like me and want to reply:') but I know what you mean:L
Original post by Zarek
This is both a male AND female trick. And to be honest the message is clear, no reply = no interest. Its not realistic to expect love interests to initially spell out that they are not interested, you just have to judge via their enthusiasm.


Are there any exceptions to the rule, no reply= no interest in regards to guys?
I don't really think that texting always shows desperation level tbh. I mean, I sometimes don't text a girl for like 3 days, she messages me, I reply in a few hours and she replies in 10 minutes. I don't think it's really fair to judge someone's interest from that. I mean, I could be really interested in a girl but I'm about to go to sleep or do something that would take a lot of time so I just leave it till the next day so I could reply quicker and have an actual chat instead of one-liners.
Original post by Precious Illusions
If someone doesn't respond then just...move on. They're either not interested or didn't think you deserved a response in which case they're not really worth getting upset over.



So true BUT when you really like someone it is not easy to let go. Easier said than done.

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