Tricky situation

so basically, i went to a new years party at a friends house who i've known for years, and whilst there i met her brother for the first time. At the party everyone had had quite a bit to drink and me and the brother sat and talked for ages about music and just hanging out sitting together, it was really relaxed and easy, unlike what i'm normally like with blokes.

Anyway, i went home and i hugged him as i left. The next day i added him on facebook and we've been texting everyday since. we have loads to talk about and tons in common, and i know my friend (his sister) wouldn't have any problem with us going out, but i have heard from another friend that he has a girlfriend. He hasn't mentioned a girlfriend to me at all, so should i bring it up? or ask him to meet up and see how he reacts?

Sorry that's so long :colondollar:

Reply 1

Anonymous Coward

2

I've read this a few times, and it's grown on me.
Could prove to be one of my favourite threads this term.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

any advice? anyone?

Reply 3

shawn_o1

21

Leave. No room for infidelity whatsoever

Reply 4

mackemforever

17

Original post by shawn_o1

Leave. No room for infidelity whatsoever

Well for a start the OP doesn't actually know whether he has a girlfriend or not, sure she's heard it from a friend but there's no guarantee that it's actually true.

Secondly the guy in question by the sounds of it has shown no indication that he would cheat on his girlfriend (if he even has one), hasn't made any advances on the OP and is simply chatting. Now I know you might find this concept strange but it is possible for guys to be friendly with a girl without it meaning that he want's to jump into her pants...

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by mackemforever

Well for a start the OP doesn't actually know whether he has a girlfriend or not, sure she's heard it from a friend but there's no guarantee that it's actually true.

Secondly the guy in question by the sounds of it has shown no indication that he would cheat on his girlfriend (if he even has one), hasn't made any advances on the OP and is simply chatting. Now I know you might find this concept strange but it is possible for guys to be friendly with a girl without it meaning that he want's to jump into her pants...

This is the thing though, i am attracted to him. so how do i best go about seeing if there's any point in me liking him? Im pretty useless at being subtle or flirting

Reply 6

ringlet

16

Just ask him? No point wasting time speculating.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by amylouisenic

Just ask him? No point wasting time speculating.

How do i ask him though? if it turns out to be untrue i don't want to look like im obsessed and asking everyone about him. basically i dont want o scare him off

Reply 8

ringlet

16

Original post by Anonymous

How do i ask him though? if it turns out to be untrue i don't want to look like im obsessed and asking everyone about him. basically i dont want o scare him off

Just ask if he's single. He won't know you've asked about him unless you tell him you have. It's perfectly reasonable to ask if you've been speaking frequently. :smile:

Reply 9

Llewellyn

14

Best course of action is either to ask one of his friends who the girlfriend is, then find her on facebook and ask her or to simply bring up the topic of relationships and ask a reasonably innocent question like "so are you interested in anyone" or "so are you seeing anyone", just something quite non-comittal. If the OP has said she's not very good at being flirty and getting her point across, then something like this would be a good start down that route anyway.

Original post by mackemforever

Secondly the guy in question by the sounds of it has shown no indication that he would cheat on his girlfriend (if he even has one), hasn't made any advances on the OP and is simply chatting. Now I know you might find this concept strange but it is possible for guys to be friendly with a girl without it meaning that he want's to jump into her pants...

I have never, ever constantly texted/ messaged the girl for days on end after just meeting her unless I'm interested, I think the same applies to a lot of guys. Most guys are quite bad at messaging constantly unless it's either necessary or they have a motivator such as liking the other person.

I mean if I was this guy's hypothetical girlfriend, I think I'd be a bit upset about him messaging her for 9 days straight after meeting at a party. Goes a bit beyond friendly IMO.

Tricky situation

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