I just hit my mother

I know its not justified, hitting the one who gave you life is morally wrong, im aware. I snapped, i honestly did. I have been bullied my whole life, and my own mother said " why do you think you get bullied? No one wants you" and " why do you think you dont have a boyfriend? Even with makeup on your still worthless". At that point, i lost it, 10 minuets before that, she had pushed me, and slapped me across the face. My mum has beaten me up multiple times ( she has anger issues ) and takes it out on me. Im moving school, because i was being bullied in my last one, she said because i didn't clean her room, or the kitchen she was going to cancel the application for my new school, as soon as she said that, i looked at her for a few seconds, and left the room, i was hurt by the fact she would even consider that. She followed me out, then hit me, and tried to smash up the things in my bedroom. I pushed her out and stood against the door to stop her from destroying everything ( i paint and she wanted to destroy my sets) then she said shes calling the school to cancel the application, i followed her out and told her to stop, she proceeded to insult me. I tried to
Take my own life earlier on last year, and also suffer from bulimia, she mocked me, and told me I couldn't even get killing myself right and laughed, she then said i should eat less cause im fat. At that point, i ripped down the blinds and smashed a plate ( i was trying so hard not to take out my anger on my mum) but then, she said ( laughing ) your crazy, no one wants u, and everyone will see you for the dirt you are) at that point, i pulled her hair and hit her, while this was happening she was laughing and calling me weak. I called her a cruel **** and walked away (in tears ) i stayed in my room, when my dad came back, she told him " Helen just beat me up, all because i told her to clean the kitchen" now my entire family refuse to talk to me, im ashamed, but, its been 14 years of torture, emotionally, several beatings i have received from her, it all came out, but at the end of it, i still love her, and i wish i didn't so much.


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A crime is still a crime. It doesn't matter whether you have mental health problems or not. If you are dangerous which her mother clearly is, she needs to be imprisoned or sectioned.

You may not want to believe that parents can be that cruel to their own child, but it does happen. That is why we have organisations such as the NSPCC to try and help those who cannot help themselves.

We only have one side of the story which we should take very seriously indeed. The police should be involved in something this serious, it does not matter if you think this is a family matter.

Oh and to the idiots on her saying that 'you shouldn't have hit her she's your mother' 'my mums hit me when I was younger and I'd never hit her back' 'blah blah blah.....you're just as bad as her......blah blah blah', you make me sick and you need to seriously evaluate your life if you think that this kind of thing that her 'mother' is doing to her child is acceptable or something that doesn't warrant retaliation.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU INSENSITIVE PEOPLE, CAN'T YOU SEE SHE IS HURTING AND INDEED OF SOME REASSURANCE AND ADVICE, NOT THE B.S ADVICE YOU'RE GIVING HER!?!?!

Talking to this monster of a woman obviously isn't going solve anything, apart from further emotional abuse and self-loathing.

Oh, and it doesn't matter if it's her parent so she shouldn't hit back, respect works both ways and you don't automatically deserve it because you're a parent! You need to show your child that you have some form of respect for them too, at least enough respect not to abuse them everyday......and I don't mean your typical slap on the bum beats you'd get when you're like 7 or so.

Seriously people, get your **** together or just piss off!

Ok, I understand.

EDIT:
Just to clarify, I'm not saying the mental condition is the mother's fault.... I meant her overall behaviour. Not all of her behaviour can be attributed to bipolar tbh (even though it is affecting her to an extent). The mother is still accountable for her actions.

My point was that the mother has her own issues (e.g. getting abused by her own mother and continuing the cycle) which have absolutely nothing to do with the OP.

I agree with that; having bipolar disorder is not an excuse for child abuse.

Accountability is an extremely grey area when it comes to certain mental illnesses (for example, in Bipolar type I, people experience psychosis - I'm not sure you can hold someone accountable in that situation). However, I do think that they have a moral obligation to take the best care of themselves possible if there is a risk that they could harm someone else (which is evidently the case here).

In any instance, we're in agreement that none of this is the OP's fault.

Apart from the fact that you wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them and the fact that they've presumably given you food, shelter and clothing all your life of course...

Yeah fair enough, I mean if they have been basically 'caring' for you for your younger years and abuse and neglect you most of your life, they still do deserve respect. You're absolutely right

I know what it is like to have a mother who acts like this. You will know to expect this, but to warn you anyway, she will later make you out to be and try to convince you, you are a bad person who has serious issues. If it is anything like what I know, her game is to push and push someone for a reaction, and then make you to be the bad one when you react. It's like women who deliberately push for a reaction from their husbands so they can then cry to their family/friends about how 'violent' their husband is. Know yourself, you are not a bad person or daughter. You reacted as any normal person might. Don't let her convince you otherwise.

I know those saying phone the police etc, its not always as easy as that. With a woman like this, she will manipulate and It will only give her ammunition. She will tell everyone that her daughter called the police on her because she was asked to clean the kitchen or something equally as reductionist and unfair. If you feel up for it, get help though.

She kicked me out and told me how terrible and horrible I was once because I had, after half an hour of being screamed literally right in my face really cruel personal things, screamed at her in her face to get out of my bedroom and leave me alone. The argument had initially started because I had forgotten to turn the washing machine on. She then told everyone that I was being aggressive and nasty to her because she asked me to do the washing machine. Recently, as I then moved abroad and had returned to the UK for a few days visit, instead of spending the little quality time we had, kicked me out again, pretty much same story, because she had asked me to clean the kitchen whilst she was out and had planned to be out the whole day so I took my time, but she returned after an hour and demanded why it wasn't done yet. When I was younger, your age, should would hit me too and use anything she could to manipulate me.

Otherwise, I don't have any good advice. If I had known how to deal with a bullying mother I would have. I'm a little older now and don't live with my parents anymore, which is easier as when my mother starts being cruel I just leave and go home, and she has less to blackmail me (before she would refuse to sign forms or do things I required her to do, now I don't have to rely on her for much)

Just remember, you are not the bad one. Even if you cant persuade others of that, its frustrating I know, but make sure you know it yourself.

I wasn't talking about in this case, just in general. Don't really see the need for the inverted commas or sarcasm - giving someone food, shelter and clothing is caring for them in the way that they've not left them to starve or they've not thrown them in the loo or a bin like some cases in China for example.

Also, just because you use capitals letters and cuss words all you like, doesn't mean people are going to listen to or "respect" you more

I've been watching this thread since it started and I'm sad to see that, as with a lot of controversial topics, it's come to users directly (or indirectly) attacking others simply because they have different views. If the OP were a hypothetical scenario presented to spark debate then this wouldn't be such an issue, but as the purpose of this thread is for advice on a serious problem that concerns someone's physical and mental well-being, I don't think it's appropriate to use it as a forum to slander others and their opinions. It won't help this girl in any way - by all means post your opinions, but not in a way that is intended to deride or offend others, it's not fair on those who are looking for genuine advice.

No doubt I'll be receiving some hateful responses soon.

Oh and to the idiots on her saying that 'you shouldn't have hit her she's your mother' 'my mums hit me when I was younger and I'd never hit her back' 'blah blah blah.....you're just as bad as her......blah blah blah', you make me sick and you need to seriously evaluate your life if you think that this kind of thing that her 'mother' is doing to her child is acceptable or something that doesn't warrant retaliation.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU INSENSITIVE PEOPLE, CAN'T YOU SEE SHE IS HURTING AND INDEED OF SOME REASSURANCE AND ADVICE, NOT THE B.S ADVICE YOU'RE GIVING HER!?!?!

Talking to this monster of a woman obviously isn't going solve anything, apart from further emotional abuse and self-loathing.

Oh, and it doesn't matter if it's her parent so she shouldn't hit back, respect works both ways and you don't automatically deserve it because you're a parent! You need to show your child that you have some form of respect for them too, at least enough respect not to abuse them everyday......and I don't mean your typical slap on the bum beats you'd get when you're like 7 or so.

Seriously people, get your **** together or just piss off!