Possible to be friends when you're both attracted to each other?

Anon because the situation described is not completely hypothetical :redface:

Though I'm interested in people's views / experiences in general.

Do you think it is possible to be friends with someone when you know you're both attracted to each other, and stuff has happened in the past but for whatever reason you can't be together / it wouldn't work out? Especially when you have lots in common, similar interests, similar outlook & goals in life, etc.
Or is it just a recipe for disaster in the long run?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

It's pretty much impossible cos that undeniable tension will always be there and sooner or later something will happen. It just nature.

How come you can't be together?

Reply 2

FrozenSteph

That was me and my best friend, we're now kinda in a relationship so yeah I think something will always happen

Reply 3

Ahava

It really depends on the intensity of it all. I've been attracted to friends in the past, but as our friendship grew stronger, my romantic attraction weakened until it completely disappeared. However, there has been an occasion where I had a friendship with someone, it was clear without them even saying anything that we would never be together, and it was just easier for me to back off.
I think it depends on entirely the individuals. It depends on what their feelings are for each other, exactly how strong those feelings are, what the situation was that stopped them from being together and if it could possibly be overcome, what their future plans are, and if they truly value having them as a friend or not having them in their life at all.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

IMO, once one person becomes attracted to the other, the friendships already over, unless the attraction's weak enough to be replaced by developing crush on someone else. My (ex)best friend and I used to hang out together 24/7 quite literally and although I was one to start liking her first she soon started to like me back. But we couldn't be together officially cuz she had a long d bf at the time and we ended up kinda cheating on him. Now she's sorta with someone else (kinda complicated) and while we do hang out together it's slightly weird cuz we're still attracted to each other quite a lot....

Reply 5

pocahontas lol

I do it all the time. I don't know your age or anything.
But I normally struggled with that stuff in high school.
Maturity will allow you two to harmoniously be platonic/sexless.
But most of the time the two will fall to temptation especially in my age group (20-somethings). Happens all the time.
If one is attracted like crushing and the other is like, "errt! You've been friend zoned." Yeaaahhh that's diff.
But if both are like sexually attracted to each other, becoming FWB is the common "resolution."

Lemme know if you don't get FWB.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Original post by pocahontas lol

In my experience, FWBs can never go back to being friends. So if you want to keep her (him?) as a friend, I'd stay faaar away from that. It might seem like it could work but it just doesn't in the end (unless both are really emotionally stable and mature, I guess. Can't say for sure since I don't know)

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

It's pretty much impossible cos that undeniable tension will always be there and sooner or later something will happen. It just nature.

How come you can't be together?

We dated for a few weeks, but we have very different views on relationships at this point in time - he doesn't really believe in monogamous relationships or commitment (he says to him there's only friendship, and some friendships are more physical or intimate than others), whereas I couldn't really deal with the idea of him getting with other girls etc. The whole thing led to a lot of arguments and drama, so continuing whatever we had isn't really an option and would just cause both of us a lot of grief.
But we do get along really well, it's really rare for me to meet someone I have that much in common with and I think he feels the same way. So I'm really hoping this friendship-thing can work, that's why I'm asking :redface:

Reply 8

Slazenger

Original post by Anonymous

this will remain regardless of whether you're formally in a relationship with him. do you think it's going to hurt a great deal less if you're not intimate with him anymore? watching him date/whatever other girls from this platonic vantage isn't going to feel any better. the only thing that helps here is 'getting over' that person and clearly this isn't present here

Reply 9

Anonymous #4

I ended up getting drunk and sleeping with my guy best friend after a night out; we'd both liked each other for a while but I was seeing someone else and he was getting over a nasty breakup... It's been awkward ever since.

Reply 10

Truflais

Yes but only if you're distant friends imo. I couldn't have a close friendship with someone I was attracted to.

Reply 11

Anonymous #5

I have been in the same situation as you and had to tell them how i felt, it depends on your personality, so in my opinion, no i don't think you can only ever be just friends you are attracted to. Its very very difficult!

Reply 12

Illegal Algebra

It's impossible.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Sure, but only just friends if you're both inept :ahee:

or ninjas

Well, actually... :ninjagirl:

Ah well, guess I'll just have to see how it goes, I'll be careful though.

Reply 14

andersonsophie_8

Yes it is. But from experience you tend to go out them eventually.

Reply 15

MagicNMedicine

Yes. One of two things will happen.

1. You will end up together.

2. One of you will end up with someone else.

The big challenge is when you are the other one, in situation 2.