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***Official Investment Banking Spring Week 2015 Thread***
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Original post by gsbs2
Alright people, today I am introducing a new section to this fantastic thread. It is called kick-ass IB quote of the day. All the quotes will be copied, but I bet that you will be waiting for them every single day. Enjoy lads, here goes the new section: THE KICK-ASS IB QUOTE OF THE DAY:
#1: If you need a Do's/Don'ts List for Office Holiday Party Behavior, get wild. You’re probably gonna get fired soon anyway.
#1: If you need a Do's/Don'ts List for Office Holiday Party Behavior, get wild. You’re probably gonna get fired soon anyway.
Following on from this, I would like to put in my quote of the year (from WSO). Someone posted about getting girls, and this was the end part of one of the responses. It's a long one, so strap yourself in:
You won't impress anyone with money. When I was in college I went out to dinner with a girl I was seeing (read: ****ed, but trying to smash on the reg). Place was out of my league. You couldn't and shouldn't be there unless you were a dual rainmaker armani model hybrid. My roommate's cousin was a chef at this brand new swanky place, it's the only way I got a reservation (think Dorsia, not Texarcana). I dressed the part, but obviously stood out as there is no way that some college kid could afford or even know such a place really existed.
Chick gets up to go to the bathroom and some guy in his early 30's leans over from the table next to ours and says to me "there will always be someone richer than you, have a bigger dick than you, **** better than you, and be better looking than you. Be patient." He then had a waiter deliver a bottle of sparkling water and 2 bottles of wine to our table. Of course I did the right thing and immediately took credit for my table neighbors generosity and discerning taste in expensive wines.
When I first heard what that dude said I kinda thought he was a douche. But having grown up a bit I see what he was getting at. If you think landing that buyside gig at Carlyle PE and throwing down the black card at Cipriani hopping out of the black on black murdered out phantom is going to do it for you 100% of the time (it'll work a lot though) it's not everything. Just as you do that some guy will land his rocket ship on the rooftop of the four seasons, drop his 100 story cock out of his pants and jizz rainbows in your girls face. But they're not ordinary jizz rainbows, we're talking premium jizz rainbows that turns into 100 karat rocks after she wipes them off her face. He'll then land a remote controlled mini chopper, she'll hop on and it will take her to him. He'll pay for the meal with his super uranium ultra diamond luxe card credit card - credit card number "Steve" because it's the only ****ing card in existence and it belongs to "Steve." He'll cut the dinner short because he has to give Bono singing lessons; so he'll slip his business card in her **** and say "call me." He will proceed to clap his hands to the tune of "we will rock you" and a flock pegasus' gracefully wisk him away to his sky castle that he lives in - because his normal place "is being renovated."
Original post by JackR7821
Following on from this, I would like to put in my quote of the year (from WSO). Someone posted about getting girls, and this was the end part of one of the responses. It's a long one, so strap yourself in:
You won't impress anyone with money. When I was in college I went out to dinner with a girl I was seeing (read: ****ed, but trying to smash on the reg). Place was out of my league. You couldn't and shouldn't be there unless you were a dual rainmaker armani model hybrid. My roommate's cousin was a chef at this brand new swanky place, it's the only way I got a reservation (think Dorsia, not Texarcana). I dressed the part, but obviously stood out as there is no way that some college kid could afford or even know such a place really existed.
Chick gets up to go to the bathroom and some guy in his early 30's leans over from the table next to ours and says to me "there will always be someone richer than you, have a bigger dick than you, **** better than you, and be better looking than you. Be patient." He then had a waiter deliver a bottle of sparkling water and 2 bottles of wine to our table. Of course I did the right thing and immediately took credit for my table neighbors generosity and discerning taste in expensive wines.
When I first heard what that dude said I kinda thought he was a douche. But having grown up a bit I see what he was getting at. If you think landing that buyside gig at Carlyle PE and throwing down the black card at Cipriani hopping out of the black on black murdered out phantom is going to do it for you 100% of the time (it'll work a lot though) it's not everything. Just as you do that some guy will land his rocket ship on the rooftop of the four seasons, drop his 100 story cock out of his pants and jizz rainbows in your girls face. But they're not ordinary jizz rainbows, we're talking premium jizz rainbows that turns into 100 karat rocks after she wipes them off her face. He'll then land a remote controlled mini chopper, she'll hop on and it will take her to him. He'll pay for the meal with his super uranium ultra diamond luxe card credit card - credit card number "Steve" because it's the only ****ing card in existence and it belongs to "Steve." He'll cut the dinner short because he has to give Bono singing lessons; so he'll slip his business card in her **** and say "call me." He will proceed to clap his hands to the tune of "we will rock you" and a flock pegasus' gracefully wisk him away to his sky castle that he lives in - because his normal place "is being renovated."
You won't impress anyone with money. When I was in college I went out to dinner with a girl I was seeing (read: ****ed, but trying to smash on the reg). Place was out of my league. You couldn't and shouldn't be there unless you were a dual rainmaker armani model hybrid. My roommate's cousin was a chef at this brand new swanky place, it's the only way I got a reservation (think Dorsia, not Texarcana). I dressed the part, but obviously stood out as there is no way that some college kid could afford or even know such a place really existed.
Chick gets up to go to the bathroom and some guy in his early 30's leans over from the table next to ours and says to me "there will always be someone richer than you, have a bigger dick than you, **** better than you, and be better looking than you. Be patient." He then had a waiter deliver a bottle of sparkling water and 2 bottles of wine to our table. Of course I did the right thing and immediately took credit for my table neighbors generosity and discerning taste in expensive wines.
When I first heard what that dude said I kinda thought he was a douche. But having grown up a bit I see what he was getting at. If you think landing that buyside gig at Carlyle PE and throwing down the black card at Cipriani hopping out of the black on black murdered out phantom is going to do it for you 100% of the time (it'll work a lot though) it's not everything. Just as you do that some guy will land his rocket ship on the rooftop of the four seasons, drop his 100 story cock out of his pants and jizz rainbows in your girls face. But they're not ordinary jizz rainbows, we're talking premium jizz rainbows that turns into 100 karat rocks after she wipes them off her face. He'll then land a remote controlled mini chopper, she'll hop on and it will take her to him. He'll pay for the meal with his super uranium ultra diamond luxe card credit card - credit card number "Steve" because it's the only ****ing card in existence and it belongs to "Steve." He'll cut the dinner short because he has to give Bono singing lessons; so he'll slip his business card in her **** and say "call me." He will proceed to clap his hands to the tune of "we will rock you" and a flock pegasus' gracefully wisk him away to his sky castle that he lives in - because his normal place "is being renovated."
Nice one, legend! Hope you can keep up with mine, tomorrow more!
Original post by JackR7821
Following on from this, I would like to put in my quote of the year (from WSO). Someone posted about getting girls, and this was the end part of one of the responses. It's a long one, so strap yourself in:
You won't impress anyone with money. When I was in college I went out to dinner with a girl I was seeing (read: ****ed, but trying to smash on the reg). Place was out of my league. You couldn't and shouldn't be there unless you were a dual rainmaker armani model hybrid. My roommate's cousin was a chef at this brand new swanky place, it's the only way I got a reservation (think Dorsia, not Texarcana). I dressed the part, but obviously stood out as there is no way that some college kid could afford or even know such a place really existed.
Chick gets up to go to the bathroom and some guy in his early 30's leans over from the table next to ours and says to me "there will always be someone richer than you, have a bigger dick than you, **** better than you, and be better looking than you. Be patient." He then had a waiter deliver a bottle of sparkling water and 2 bottles of wine to our table. Of course I did the right thing and immediately took credit for my table neighbors generosity and discerning taste in expensive wines.
When I first heard what that dude said I kinda thought he was a douche. But having grown up a bit I see what he was getting at. If you think landing that buyside gig at Carlyle PE and throwing down the black card at Cipriani hopping out of the black on black murdered out phantom is going to do it for you 100% of the time (it'll work a lot though) it's not everything. Just as you do that some guy will land his rocket ship on the rooftop of the four seasons, drop his 100 story cock out of his pants and jizz rainbows in your girls face. But they're not ordinary jizz rainbows, we're talking premium jizz rainbows that turns into 100 karat rocks after she wipes them off her face. He'll then land a remote controlled mini chopper, she'll hop on and it will take her to him. He'll pay for the meal with his super uranium ultra diamond luxe card credit card - credit card number "Steve" because it's the only ****ing card in existence and it belongs to "Steve." He'll cut the dinner short because he has to give Bono singing lessons; so he'll slip his business card in her **** and say "call me." He will proceed to clap his hands to the tune of "we will rock you" and a flock pegasus' gracefully wisk him away to his sky castle that he lives in - because his normal place "is being renovated."
You won't impress anyone with money. When I was in college I went out to dinner with a girl I was seeing (read: ****ed, but trying to smash on the reg). Place was out of my league. You couldn't and shouldn't be there unless you were a dual rainmaker armani model hybrid. My roommate's cousin was a chef at this brand new swanky place, it's the only way I got a reservation (think Dorsia, not Texarcana). I dressed the part, but obviously stood out as there is no way that some college kid could afford or even know such a place really existed.
Chick gets up to go to the bathroom and some guy in his early 30's leans over from the table next to ours and says to me "there will always be someone richer than you, have a bigger dick than you, **** better than you, and be better looking than you. Be patient." He then had a waiter deliver a bottle of sparkling water and 2 bottles of wine to our table. Of course I did the right thing and immediately took credit for my table neighbors generosity and discerning taste in expensive wines.
When I first heard what that dude said I kinda thought he was a douche. But having grown up a bit I see what he was getting at. If you think landing that buyside gig at Carlyle PE and throwing down the black card at Cipriani hopping out of the black on black murdered out phantom is going to do it for you 100% of the time (it'll work a lot though) it's not everything. Just as you do that some guy will land his rocket ship on the rooftop of the four seasons, drop his 100 story cock out of his pants and jizz rainbows in your girls face. But they're not ordinary jizz rainbows, we're talking premium jizz rainbows that turns into 100 karat rocks after she wipes them off her face. He'll then land a remote controlled mini chopper, she'll hop on and it will take her to him. He'll pay for the meal with his super uranium ultra diamond luxe card credit card - credit card number "Steve" because it's the only ****ing card in existence and it belongs to "Steve." He'll cut the dinner short because he has to give Bono singing lessons; so he'll slip his business card in her **** and say "call me." He will proceed to clap his hands to the tune of "we will rock you" and a flock pegasus' gracefully wisk him away to his sky castle that he lives in - because his normal place "is being renovated."
You sound like a true banker, but skip the ****-part. A true banker is not afraid of expressing themselves with some "****ing", "pussy" and so on
"Edit: Lol im stupid as ****. It was automade, my bad. Im not a true banker
Original post by welcometoib
wow, they must take on a lot of spring weekers to summer. Any tips for the int?
Dunno what conversion is
It is very easy. Just have lots of examples
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Original post by Aenigma
There are two right?
Original post by Drossell
There are two right?
Final round is AC (two/three interviews [cant remember]) but same format as first round; motivational no tech
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Original post by Aenigma
Final round is AC (two/three interviews [cant remember]) but same format as first round; motivational no tech
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Are these telephone too or face2face?
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Original post by Mralpha
F2f
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Original post by Aenigma
on the online page it says final interview rather than ac, did it do that last year too if you can remember?
Original post by welcometoib
on the online page it says final interview rather than ac, did it do that last year too if you can remember?
Can't remember, sorry
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Have people heard back from citi for IBD?
Original post by GeeGee3
Have people heard back from citi for IBD?
for quest ints and offers have been given out before christmas, for scope nothing, so id assume for ibd yeah, but more ints should be incoming.
Let's all enjoy our weekend and get back to IB spring week stuff on Monday 
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Original post by The-Illusionist
Ahh I thought so. Thanks anyway.
May I ask which firms have you applied to? and if you have heard back from any?
May I ask which firms have you applied to? and if you have heard back from any?
Well I applied on 2/01 for corporate finance and I still got through to numerical...
Original post by PhysicsLeopard
Bit late to the party...rejected by JPM & DB, just had CS interview and got a final round MS interview next week
Did you get invited to do a numerical for DB?
Has anyone heard from Citi quest?
I applied on the 29th Oct and still haven't even been asked to sit any tests?
I applied on the 29th Oct and still haven't even been asked to sit any tests?
Hey guys, I'm trying to get into investment banking, I'm doing Chemistry/physics/Biology/Maths at A-level, can any of you guys give me some advice?
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Original post by ProjectNr2
75% are absolutely OUTSTANDING as those talen q tests are basically a rape. What did you get in the other test?
75% is an EASY benchmark pass!
75% is an EASY benchmark pass!
I believe I got 70% in the logical
Haha thanks for that - The report RBS sent me messed up - it looked like another language but in fact was gibberish :/
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Original post by Quantitive
Hey guys, I'm trying to get into investment banking, I'm doing Chemistry/physics/Biology/Maths at A-level, can any of you guys give me some advice?
Posted from TSR Mobile
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Yes: Realise that the A-Level subjects you do won't make a huuuuuge difference AND that it will help you to get a Spring Week if you can, which is what we are all applying for. Realise also that you will not get a Spring Week without a slight bit of luck, on top of being a great candidate, of course, because you will be battling AT LEAST 50 others for your place. Loads more advice you could get, e.g try and commence your technical knowledge journey by reading stuff online etc.
One last thing: People on this forum spend about 80% of their time soiling their pants waiting for interviews / offers or even results from numerical tests, so you may be lucky to get a reply if you aren't talking about something relevant.Today is your lucky day, as I would rather be on SR than revise for my Chinese exam...
Good luck.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Quantitive
Hey guys, I'm trying to get into investment banking, I'm doing Chemistry/physics/Biology/Maths at A-level, can any of you guys give me some advice?
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theres some good info @ canary wharfian com
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