What should I do about this girl? Please help

I don't really have advice but her relationship seems very weird... how can she plan to marry a guy she doesn't even know in person.... people are very different online to in real life!!! If she's with him maybe it's because she wants to protect herself from being open to a real relationship..... I'm not saying long distance can't work, but they've met once in 4 years!?!?! Come on!!


I wouldn't see him as too much of a threat!

Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Even if she hasn't physically met him in person, I'm sure she has spent a LOT of time speaking to him through skype etc., which is enough to get to know a person enough to love them i'd think. I mean, it's clearly going well since they've stuck together for 4 years AND plan on getting married. I'd definitely see him as a 'threat'.

I have a female friend who I have strong feelings for. But she is in a relationship.


Her relationship is a little "unique". Her bf lives in another country and they have only met once in person. They have been talking via Skype and messaging for the past 4 years. And she wants to marry him when we finish uni (in 2yrs time). Her family doesn't know about him. That's a bit of background info on that.


About a year ago I sort of told her I had feelings for her and she said I'm sorry, but I have a bf. I love him. Etc. She did say to me that she thinks we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. I said no I want to stay friends and within a week, it was back to normal between us.


I like being friends with her. We get on really well and I'm happy when I'm around her.


The only thing is, sometimes I feel like I am too nice to her, and treat her as if she is more than just a friend. I am always helping her whenever she asks and I am always available to her. It's not deliberate - I just sort of don't want to say no to her.


Sometimes I feel maybe she doesn't appreciate everything I do for her.
Also, I feel really attached to her and sometimes I feel I act a bit needy and clingy. I know that's not good but that's what I feel.


I already know I care about her a lot more than she cares about me. Maybe she doesn't need to care that much? Maybe I am expecting too much?


A few other issues. She has lots of guy friends and I am 99% sure they all like her. I kind of get jealous and uneasy when I see her talking to them :/


I get upset very easily with her. I don't like to argue or have any problems with her.


I won't lie I've had sexual thoughts about her pop into my head. It's not nice. It hurts.


From time to time, I become really sad about the whole thing because I really like her and I can't accept the reality of the situation


What are your thoughts?


Right now, I'm in a kind of limbo - I'm not happy with the relationship I have with her, but I don't want to end it either.

Well my advice is to either make a plan to win her over or find someone else you like. It may hurt now but this kind of state is not productive and it will eat up your time.

I don't really have advice but her relationship seems very weird... how can she plan to marry a guy she doesn't even know in person.... people are very different online to in real life!!! If she's with him maybe it's because she wants to protect herself from being open to a real relationship..... I'm not saying long distance can't work, but they've met once in 4 years!?!?! Come on!!


I wouldn't see him as too much of a threat!

Its very clear you want to be in a relationship with said girl, had you not you would've moved on after you tried to make a move. Exactly what she said would happen has happened, you're sad and more so jealous over someone who's not yours and , if you ask me she's using you, and the other guys probably, as a surrogate for the affection she can't get from her boyfriend.

I recommend you distance yourself from her and find something else to focuse on in order to forget about her. I don't think your relationship will develop any further so its probably best to invest your time in something beneficial.

You're lying to urself by saying you want to keep her "as a friend," and I'm speaking from experience. I've had (as many other guys have as well, I assume) similar situations in the past but what you want from her is not friendship. You just want to keep her around because you like being with her in a very non-platonic way. If you don't want to lose a friend, I would suggest either forcing urself to crush on someone else or just stay away until the feelings fade. Just my two cents.

You should try dating someone else (casually so know one gets hurt) if she has said before that she doesn't like you that way am sorry but you should accept it. Attempt to gain a little space and become more independent and confident in yourself. You should still be friends but attempt to keep it as JUST friends so you don't confuse your emotions, it's not bad to have fantasy its normal but try and pass your desires onto someone else so you don't feel like your betraying her trust (if you don't feel like that good you shouldn't). Maybe even make more friends to break that attachment of something more you have made with yourself and her, so you can't slowly stop being jealous and clingy. It's hard and slow to get over people but it helps if you know she's happy with the guy she is with

Hope everything goes well,
Mia x


Posted from TSR Mobile

This may sound brutal but it's offered with kindness...
Let go of it. She isn't available, and even if you're in love with her it doesn't mean you have any inherent right to be with her. You're causing yourself suffering by avoiding the reality of the situation.
Life is short. Don't waste it chasing after people who aren't or can't be available. There are other gals out there who need a guy like you. Go find 'em and be happy!

I don't have a plan. She just doesn't like me in that way and she is in love with her bf. But still I can't accept this and I just can't get over her. I am not in a good place right now.