He's not sure about me.

Please keep anon as my friends use this forum and I just can't stop crying as I don't want them to find out.

About 6 months ago I met a guy and things progressed really well. We are exclusive and I realised I fell in love with him. I told him this and he replied 'I really like you...but I'm just still not sure about us and I deffo don't love you back. I can't guarantee that I'll ever fall in love with you because there are no guarantees in life, so you can wait around and see if I do but I can't guarantee it."

I feel heartbroken as I love him, but am I being a mug just waiting around???

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hii
I completely understand what your going through...
I think you need to be careful and it would be best if you try and keep your distance, i know it sounds hard but i think it might be the best seeing as if you continue to try and be close to him you'll probably fall for him more and what if his feelings just dont become as strong as yours? You'll feel more hurt...maybe try to stay as friends but dont keep that expectation that he will feel the same...be careful and keep your options open

Reply 2

Klumby44

Original post by Anonymous

If you just quoted his exact words, then that guy sounds like a total douchebag. If you've really been a thing for 6 months and he just comes out with that...

It's your decision to make. Do you really want to wait around for someone who doesn't love, and has admitted he probably never will? I don't know..it's a messed up situation. He sounds like the kind of guy who gets dumped, realises either no-one else wants him, or that he made a mistake and will come crawling back to you.

Granted, if that does happen (if you proceed to end it with this guy altogether) don't get back with him.

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

I am sort of in the same boat as you but it hasn't been as long as 6 months and I wasn't told the whole "she might not ever love me back" she just doesn't right now.

I can say it definitely is heartbreaking but you can't change the way they feel. If your exclusive and you enjoy each other's company then I don't think there is any harm staying in the relationship.

I would love to suggest what to do but I myself am stuck for answers to my own situation.

All the best.

Reply 4

Reeeeyah

He probably could have worded it a bit better, that must have hurt your feelings a bit.

Atleast he is being honest though.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Those were his words. I just don't know what to do. Am I just wasting my time? I don't wanna have spent months or years for him to then turn round and say that he doesn't love me

Reply 6

username944192

A guy did this to me once and I was just like ok cool cya never. People like this aren't worth your time. Find someone who is sure about you and doesn't ask you to wait around to see if they will love you. Honestly it'll be so much better for you if you just get rid and also he sounds horrible and arrogant asking you to wait for him, don't ever wait for someone like that.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by infairverona

It's hard when I love him and can't imagine my days without him in it :frown:

Reply 8

perflous

Hate to say it, but yeah, it sounds like you're wasting your time. I'd end things now to save you from getting hurt more down the line.

Reply 9

Reeeeyah

Original post by Anonymous

Those were his words. I just don't know what to do. Am I just wasting my time? I don't wanna have spent months or years for him to then turn round and say that he doesn't love me

Maybe you could have a proper conversation with him about it and maybe tell him your fears?.

What is he like as a boyfriend, what is he like when he's around you? how does he treat you?

I think that if you think you're wasting your time, then you should trust your gut.

Reply 10

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

Those were his words. I just don't know what to do. Am I just wasting my time? I don't wanna have spent months or years for him to then turn round and say that he doesn't love me

I would say you are wasting your time with him, he doesn't sound ready to commit to any relationship.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

It's weird as ive met his family and his friends and he refers to me as his girlfriend. But he won't commit to a future :frown:

Reply 12

Klumby44

Original post by Anonymous

It's hard when I love him and can't imagine my days without him in it :frown:

Isn't it kind of the opposite with him? He said he "definitley" doesn't love you, so he sounds pretty confident about how he feels towards you. You'll most likely just keep feeling upset if you're with him any longer. On the bright side, he told you the truth rather than just lie about how he feels so that you can stay in a false relationship for any longer. There's someone else out there for you who will love you in return and they're always worth waiting for.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Klumby44

I guess the main worry I have about breaking up is the "what if" he did fall in love with me and I'll never know as I ended it

Reply 14

Truflais

Original post by Klumby44

If you just quoted his exact words, then that guy sounds like a total douchebag. If you've really been a thing for 6 months and he just comes out with that...

This. I'd be so pissed off if someone I'd been exclusive with for 6 months said that to me. If I were you I'd take a break from him, reevaluate things.

Reply 15

Klumby44

Original post by Anonymous

I guess the main worry I have about breaking up is the "what if" he did fall in love with me and I'll never know as I ended it

Do what your gut tells you to do. Personally if I was in your situation (and loved the other person as much as you clearly do) I would still break up with the girl and tell her that we could always get together again, when they are actually READY for a relationship. Your bf calls you his gf, yet he definitely doesn't love you. Strange.

Reply 16

username944192

Original post by Anonymous

It's hard when I love him and can't imagine my days without him in it :frown:

It is hard but it will be even harder a year or more down the line when he still isn't sure and you still love him. You deserve, and will find, someone who IS sure about you. After 6 months if he's still not sure that says quite a lot tbh.

Reply 17

Illegal Algebra

Haha of course you're a mug. It's clearly over. He literally told you very clearly that he doesn't love you and that nothing is going to change. It's over. Move on, forget about him.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by Illegal Algebra

Haha of course you're a mug. It's clearly over. He literally told you very clearly that he doesn't love you and that nothing is going to change. It's over. Move on, forget about him

Posted from TSR Mobile

Then why are we still dating and going out with each other? And why am I still meeting his family if we are totally over