The Student Room Group

Being shallow on dating sites

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Original post by Groot
You're making things more complicated by adding an additional factor. For this thread, let judging mainly by appearance = shallow, please.


LOL There are lots of older guys on dating sites and apps. Maybe not too many 70-year-old millionaires, but loads of people in their 50s.

Doesn't change the fact that I still won't be sleeping with most of them if the physical attraction is not there.

You're thinking of friendship not romantic relationships.
Reply 21
Original post by clh_hilary
LOL There are lots of older guys on dating sites and apps. Maybe not too many 70-year-old millionaires, but loads of people in their 50s.

Doesn't change the fact that I still won't be sleeping with most of them if the physical attraction is not there.

You're thinking of friendship not romantic relationships.

I'm thinking of appearances for this thread topic. I'm not referring to age. If you want to talk about age based shallowness, talk about it on another thread, thanks. :smile:
Reply 22
Original post by getfunky!


wood bang/10

Stop being so shallow. :mad:
Get to know Groot's lovely personality first.
Here's a link to OKCupid's experiment. In short, people were vastly more likely to respond to messages and conversations went deeper when they couldn't see the other person's photo. However, the moment photos turned back on, people lost total interest. So basically, ignorance is bliss. Once people find out how the people they're talking to look like, they lose interest, no matter how good their personality actually is.

Their conclusion: "People are exactly as shallow as technology allows them to be"
Original post by Groot
I'm thinking of appearances for this thread topic. I'm not referring to age. If you want to talk about age based shallowness, talk about it on another thread, thanks. :smile:


I didn't talk about age-based shallowness. I'm talking someone who looks like Richard Dawkins is not my cup of tea ever if I like his personality and mind.

That's the point - if I have chatted with Dawkins for weeks without knowing how he looks like, I might like him quite a lot, but still won't sleep with him after he's shown himself to me.
Reply 25
Original post by clh_hilary
I didn't talk about age-based shallowness. I'm talking someone who looks like Richard Dawkins is not my cup of tea ever if I like his personality and mind.

That's the point - if I have chatted with Dawkins for weeks without knowing how he looks like, I might like him quite a lot, but still won't sleep with him after he's shown himself to me.

Ah okay. Well, like I said to another person here, there'll be occasions when a person doesn't find them physically attractive one bit. But my online blind date idea may help give those whom are considered to be a bit attractive more of a chance.
Original post by Chlorophile
Here's a link to OKCupid's experiment. In short, people were vastly more likely to respond to messages and conversations went deeper when they couldn't see the other person's photo. However, the moment photos turned back on, people lost total interest. So basically, ignorance is bliss. Once people find out how the people they're talking to look like, they lose interest, no matter how good their personality actually is.

Their conclusion: "People are exactly as shallow as technology allows them to be"


This just proves my point that it's pointless to just to deceive people into chatting with people they're not sexually attracted to in the first place.
Original post by Groot
Ah okay. Well, like I said to another person here, there'll be occasions when a person doesn't find them physically attractive one bit. But my online blind date idea may help give those whom are considered to be a bit attractive more of a chance.


Sites and apps are different from bars and clubs.

In a bar or a club, a person might just go for one target; but on a site or an app, that person could chat with 100 people.

Don't need to keep it blind.
Reply 28
Original post by Chlorophile
Here's a link to OKCupid's experiment. In short, people were vastly more likely to respond to messages and conversations went deeper when they couldn't see the other person's photo. However, the moment photos turned back on, people lost total interest. So basically, ignorance is bliss. Once people find out how the people they're talking to look like, they lose interest, no matter how good their personality actually is.

Their conclusion: "People are exactly as shallow as technology allows them to be"

Wow, that's an eye-opening experiment!
What do you think of people who say "I don't care about looks"?
Original post by clh_hilary
This just proves my point that it's pointless to just to deceive people into chatting with people they're not sexually attracted to in the first place.


Pretty much. It's still sad though that people actually enjoyed talking to each other more when they couldn't see their faces.

Original post by Groot
Wow, that's an eye-opening experiment!
What do you think of people who say "I don't care about looks"?


If it's genuinely true then good for them (their life will probably be better because of it) but I doubt it's common. To not care about looks is to go against evolution.
Original post by Chlorophile
Pretty much. It's still sad though that people actually enjoyed talking to each other more when they couldn't see their faces.


They didn't enjoy talking to each other more, they just give more people chances. They may also have sustained the conversations only in the hopes of seeing the faces afterwards.
Reply 31
Original post by clh_hilary
They didn't enjoy talking to each other more, they just give more people chances. They may also have sustained the conversations only in the hopes of seeing the faces afterwards.

Isn't having more chances what some people want though?
Original post by Groot
Isn't having more chances what some people want though?


And I (and that study) am (are) telling you that the chances don't turn into anything meaningful.
Reply 33
Original post by clh_hilary
And I (and that study) am (are) telling you that the chances don't turn into anything meaningful.

Can do for some people.
Original post by Groot
After my earlier thread here, I was talking with a friend about how if a person finds it unfair that more physically attractive people have an advantage, then they should try online dating. I figured online dating would help show their great personalities more, so people wouldn't have to worry about others not giving them a chance simply because of appearances.

However, the friend said that it's even harder on dating sites not to be shallow. Even though there are personality matching systems, most people judge by profile photos first, and then what the profile says.

So, what if a dating site didn't allow people to see profile photos until after a certain length of time of getting to know someone? Wouldn't that eliminate the problem of shallowness? It'll be like online blind dating. Do such sites already exist? What are their drawbacks?
GAP IN THE FECKING MARKET LETS DO THIS!!!!

Original post by Precious Illusions
Sorta related, there used to be a show called Dating in the Dark which was sort of like what you described. People would go on dates in the dark so they couldn't see each other. Then at the end they'd see what the other looked like but their reactions would be hidden from each other, was so awks sometimes when they were visibly disappointed :lol:
haha loved that show.showed how fake most people were.brillant XD
Reply 35
Original post by trustmeimlying1
GAP IN THE FECKING MARKET LETS DO THIS!!!!

:lol:

And what do you think of other replies on this thread? They mention that once pics are shown, people would basically run off. But I'd like to think that by that time, they would have gotten to know each other enough to give better chances. It may not work for most people, but if it works for some people, that's good enough.
Original post by Groot
:lol:

And what do you think of other replies on this thread? They mention that once pics are shown, people would basically run off. But I'd like to think that by that time, they would have gotten to know each other enough to give better chances. It may not work for most people, but if it works for some people, that's good enough.

Firstly lets be logical.Jokes aside.

What sortive people would be attracted to a non judgemental in the looks department sorta website.uglier/less confidence people.
If people run off thats their problem.theyre all ugly anyways:tongue:
I think it happens ALL the time online.
Reply 37
Original post by trustmeimlying1
Firstly lets be logical.Jokes aside.

What sortive people would be attracted to a non judgemental in the looks department sorta website.uglier/less confidence people.
If people run off thats their problem.theyre all ugly anyways:tongue:
I think it happens ALL the time online.

What? Sorry, I'm having to read your post too many times to make sense of it. :tongue:
Original post by Groot
What? Sorry, I'm having to read your post too many times to make sense of it. :tongue:

this sorta of website would attract mainly ugly/insecure people anyways so if they arent happy with their matches then well theyre hypocrites to a certain extent too.

Online where people talk first and see each other late it makes a massive difference.
I think if you here what a person says first rather than see them you have a chance.it doesnt mean it doesnt matter what you look like but it definitely gives yeh a chance.
Reply 39
Original post by trustmeimlying1
this sorta of website would attract mainly ugly/insecure people anyways so if they arent happy with their matches then well theyre hypocrites to a certain extent too.

Online where people talk first and see each other late it makes a massive difference.
I think if you here what a person says first rather than see them you have a chance.it doesnt mean it doesnt matter what you look like but it definitely gives yeh a chance.

Aha, yep, agreed. :smile:
You know, a lot of people seem to fall for others on TSR too, even though they haven't seen a photo of them. :tongue:

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