The Student Room Group

If a girl is upset with you, is it always best to give her space?

Should I practise No Contact with a girl/girlfriend who is upset with me?

When she does get back into contact with me, what do I do?

Scroll to see replies

no....but your strong emotional intelligence is key here...
Reply 2
Original post by darcus aernelius
no....but your strong emotional intelligence is key here...


If she's angry shouldn't I give her space to cool down?
do you know why she is angry? has she said why? you can give her space, but then it's a matter of finding out why and resolving it...
Reply 4
A bit of Catch-22 situation I'm afraid.

Giving space is important, but giving too much space might seem like you don't care. But not giving enough space makes you look clingy and possessive. I guess the best you can do is read the situation and decide for yourself.
Reply 5
Original post by darcus aernelius
do you know why she is angry? has she said why? you can give her space, but then it's a matter of finding out why and resolving it...


I know why she's mad yeah ... that's why I'm giving her space till she wants to talk to me again.
ok....that's probably the best you can do then./
Reply 7
Original post by Swanbow
A bit of Catch-22 situation I'm afraid.

Giving space is important, but giving too much space might seem like you don't care. But not giving enough space makes you look clingy and possessive. I guess the best you can do is read the situation and decide for yourself.


What's your situation?
Reply 8
Original post by darcus aernelius
ok....that's probably the best you can do then./


I know she's angry with me ... but I also know she's REALLY stressed with her work and can't think straight - she told me that herself yesterday.

I asked her in a text before "where I stood" and she didn't say "I want to end it " or whatever ...
Reply 9
Original post by TellementCon
What's your situation?


I've had a similar problem before, upset someone and gave them space, and they turned it back on me saying it meant I didn't care for them. Which really sucked because I did, hence why I put myself through the pain of not talking to them to give them space.

It is a difficult situation. I'd always say giving space is important, but that doesn't mean you have to abandon all contact. Best of luck, hope it sorts itself out.
Original post by Swanbow
I've had a similar problem before, upset someone and gave them space, and they turned it back on me saying it meant I didn't care for them. Which really sucked because I did, hence why I put myself through the pain of not talking to them to give them space.

It is a difficult situation. I'd always say giving space is important, but that doesn't mean you have to abandon all contact. Best of luck, hope it sorts itself out.


Well I let her know that I was there for her, and all she had to do was contact me ... but I'm leaving her space because she most definitely needs to cool down.

Thanks!
Reply 11
I do believe this is another classic example of the difference in sexes.

When a man is upset, it's generally preferred that he retreat and have some space and time to himself to sort out his own problems, but women generally like to talk about their problems when she is upset. I would advise showing some emotional intelligence and letting her voice out her concerns - usually just being there to listen can be enough to make her feel better. Sending a message that you understand she is upset and (if you were in the wrong) acknowledge that you screwed up. Show that you care by reaching out and saying you'd like to talk about the issue.

Men make the common mistake of giving women space (as that is what he would prefer) which can then be taken as sign that he doesn't care enough whereas women make the mistake of wanting to talk about everything (as that is what she would prefer) which can upset a guy even further.
(edited 9 years ago)
I reckon, if she's mad at you then give her space until she is ready to sort it out with you. If she is mad at something else that doesn't involve you, then you need to help her out or at least make her know you are there for her.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Every scenario will be different, and it doesn't matter whether the person is upset is a boy or girl.
Some will want to be left alone, some will want to talk about it straight away.
Reply 14
Original post by Menrva
I but women generally like to talk about their problems when she is upset. I would advise showing some emotional intelligence and letting her voice out her concerns - usually just being there to listen can be enough to make her feel better.


Sure I like to talk when I'm upset... but not to the person who's made me upset. I'd want space to calm down and then I might talk. But everyone is different, so...

Original post by Emily.97
Every scenario will be different, and it doesn't matter whether the person is upset is a boy or girl.
Some will want to be left alone, some will want to talk about it straight away.


Exactly.
OK, OP. break it down.

What did YOU do to make her pissed off? Can it be something that is rectifiable?

Take ownership of your part, and then let her sort out the rest. IMHO, she saying she's stressed from work is a pretext......it's clouding her emotions, but then she probably just needs time to mull over it. And it's not a gender thing, human beings are diffrent and we all manage emotions differently....
Unfortunately there is no textbook answer to this, everyone is different so I'm guessing just trust your instincts? If you think it's best to give her space then give her space


Posted from TSR Mobile
No. dominate her.
at least that's what I would want.
It s ano win situation which proves how pathetic some girls are because most will complain if you ask whats wrong and try to talk about it and say they need space

but if you just gave them space they would probably complain that you are just drifting away from them
What to do.? I try lots of thing to get her back. I mest up i know said something and now ahe want space again. I feel like i lost her this time. She relly mad at me says she want space that it will take some time to even say hi again. What to do.

Quick Reply

Latest