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Date ideas (previously messed up with this girl)

Me and this girl met at a houseparty in about late November. Chatted to her even though I never did anything with her, got her facebook (had no phone at the time) and messaged loads.

Wen I got a phone texted and eventually organised a date to a bar. Chatted and had some drinks, kissed, held hands and it went perfectly (she really liked me).

Organise a second date for her to come round and watch a film (i know this sounds like we'll have sex but I think she never intended that). I think she wanted something more close and affectionate than sitting at a table. I messed up on the second date.. never initiated with her - I never made a move and did nothing.

Managed to get a third date a few days later and I thought I HAD to make a move as its gone backwards! We went to the cinema with her Uni housemates to watch hungergames (obviously I didn't want to go all PDA with her uni mates around I didn't even know) but then I suggested she comes back to mine after. We chat for a while and I try make a move without it being obvious but she isn't responsive and I didnt know why. Again nothing happened - no kiss!

So I went from holding hands and kissing on the first date, to just a hug on the second and third. Get a text the next day from her saying she's recently realised she isn't ready for a commitment as she came out of a long term relationship not long ago. I know her mates and they all told me she really liked me but just wasn't ready.

We text here and there over Xmas but not a lot. The other night she goes out and sends drunk messages like we should call and chat and we should meet up. She apologises for drunk texts next morning and i ask if she actually does want to meet again. She says yes.

I have my chance again but dont want to balls up - dont want to make the same mistakes as last time. I think film round mine is a bad idea as we've watched a few films together and benefit more from chatting. Also I only have a laptop and netflix while the laptop on your stomach prevents cuddling/kissing as you cant turn your body. I need ideas and recommendations for dates. What should I do with her? Can't mess it up!
She clearly likes you lad. The drunk texts is evidence of that. Perhaps people reveal their true feelings when drunk?

It's all or nothing on the next date...hold her hand, and go for the kiss on the lips.

Dates...think outside the box. Last one I went to kicked off at a museum.
Original post by dylantombides
Me and this girl met at a houseparty in about late November. Chatted to her even though I never did anything with her, got her facebook (had no phone at the time) and messaged loads.

Wen I got a phone texted and eventually organised a date to a bar. Chatted and had some drinks, kissed, held hands and it went perfectly (she really liked me).

Organise a second date for her to come round and watch a film (i know this sounds like we'll have sex but I think she never intended that). I think she wanted something more close and affectionate than sitting at a table. I messed up on the second date.. never initiated with her - I never made a move and did nothing.

Managed to get a third date a few days later and I thought I HAD to make a move as its gone backwards! We went to the cinema with her Uni housemates to watch hungergames (obviously I didn't want to go all PDA with her uni mates around I didn't even know) but then I suggested she comes back to mine after. We chat for a while and I try make a move without it being obvious but she isn't responsive and I didnt know why. Again nothing happened - no kiss!

So I went from holding hands and kissing on the first date, to just a hug on the second and third. Get a text the next day from her saying she's recently realised she isn't ready for a commitment as she came out of a long term relationship not long ago. I know her mates and they all told me she really liked me but just wasn't ready.

We text here and there over Xmas but not a lot. The other night she goes out and sends drunk messages like we should call and chat and we should meet up. She apologises for drunk texts next morning and i ask if she actually does want to meet again. She says yes.

I have my chance again but dont want to balls up - dont want to make the same mistakes as last time. I think film round mine is a bad idea as we've watched a few films together and benefit more from chatting. Also I only have a laptop and netflix while the laptop on your stomach prevents cuddling/kissing as you cant turn your body. I need ideas and recommendations for dates. What should I do with her? Can't mess it up!


Damn straight son. You sound like a honest guy. I'm no expert but if you want to chat with her, invite her to an environment where this can happen, like a bar or similar. Somewhere not too loud but with a nice ambience.

The bottom line is, from what you've said, she sounds interested in you. Maybe she's shy? Maybe the fact that she's seemingly not ready is just nervousness on her part. In my honest opinion, take her somewhere where you can chat, make her laugh, talk about some interesting things but do not leave without telling her straight about how you feel and what you want going forward. Girls love directness and honesty in my personal experience (if I got a $1 for the number of times I messed up by shying around the topic). The last thing you want to do is dodge around the subject. That doesn't mean to say that you have to be forceful, just direct enough to get your message across. On the other hand, you've got to approach this in a way that will stimulate a positive response from her.

At this stage, you would have taken her out, shown her a good time, told her how you feel without pressuring her too much. The ball will therefore be in her court.

So, I'm by no means an expert and my thoughts above tend to the idealistic end of the spectrum, but hopefully they've given you a couple of ideas.

Best of luck, mate! You've got this. :smile:
Original post by Eboracum
She clearly likes you lad. The drunk texts is evidence of that. Perhaps people reveal their true feelings when drunk?

It's all or nothing on the next date...hold her hand, and go for the kiss on the lips.

Dates...think outside the box. Last one I went to kicked off at a museum.


You started kissing at a museum? Thing is I can only kiss when drinking. Can't do it if I go for a casual coffee or something it seems weird going for a kiss!
Original post by Wanted
Damn straight son. You sound like a honest guy. I'm no expert but if you want to chat with her, invite her to an environment where this can happen, like a bar or similar. Somewhere not too loud but with a nice ambience.

The bottom line is, from what you've said, she sounds interested in you. Maybe she's shy? Maybe the fact that she's seemingly not ready is just nervousness on her part. In my honest opinion, take her somewhere where you can chat, make her laugh, talk about some interesting things but do not leave without telling her straight about how you feel and what you want going forward. Girls love directness and honesty in my personal experience (if I got a $1 for the number of times I messed up by shying around the topic). The last thing you want to do is dodge around the subject. That doesn't mean to say that you have to be forceful, just direct enough to get your message across. On the other hand, you've got to approach this in a way that will stimulate a positive response from her.

At this stage, you would have taken her out, shown her a good time, told her how you feel without pressuring her too much. The ball will therefore be in her court.

So, I'm by no means an expert and my thoughts above tend to the idealistic end of the spectrum, but hopefully they've given you a couple of ideas.

Best of luck, mate! You've got this. :smile:

Thanks!!
Reply 5
Take her on Valhalla in Blackpool Pleasure Beach .
Original post by dylantombides
You started kissing at a museum? Thing is I can only kiss when drinking. Can't do it if I go for a casual coffee or something it seems weird going for a kiss!


I agree, it just feels awkward if you can't use the alcohol excuse :eek:

Do something she'll remember, something interesting.

- Take her to a Leech Farm
- A drive-in movie
- Go try something neither of you have done before (Martial Arts, Ballroom dancing)
- Visit a museum
Original post by 061194
Take her on Valhalla in Blackpool Pleasure Beach .


Don't live near there
Original post by CatnipGlows
I agree, it just feels awkward if you can't use the alcohol excuse :eek:

Do something she'll remember, something interesting.

- Take her to a Leech Farm
- A drive-in movie
- Go try something neither of you have done before (Martial Arts, Ballroom dancing)
- Visit a museum


Yeah dates with alcohol are better I've found. I don't mean getting smashed but everything's just better when tipsy... you chat better (both people) and seem to click more/love everyone and everything haha. I like the idea of doing something different but not sure I agree with our suggestions (no car at uni and the other options either wouldn't interest us or isn't around).
Original post by dylantombides
Don't live near there


Yeah dates with alcohol are better I've found. I don't mean getting smashed but everything's just better when tipsy... you chat better (both people) and seem to click more/love everyone and everything haha. I like the idea of doing something different but not sure I agree with our suggestions (no car at uni and the other options either wouldn't interest us or isn't around).


Yeah I agree. How about just going out for a casual drink in a pub then?
Original post by CatnipGlows
Yeah I agree. How about just going out for a casual drink in a pub then?


I've been put off drinking as I used to get heart pain when I drink and recently I got it so bad I ended up in hospital (even though i wasn't that drunk) and the hospital found nothing wrong nor the doctor when I went for a check up before the ambulance situation. She knows about it and got really worried when I went to hospital so drinking probs isn't the best idea for me or her.
bump
take her to the zoo, ice skating, an aquarium, a museum, madam tussauds (if you live in or near london), or even better topgolf (its a golfing range, its not expensive and very fun tbh) in all these places you can talk and/or walk and do something not just boring old dinner

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