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I think there's a difference between a slap or smacking on the buttocks and being beaten up (abuse?).

Personally, I got slaps for saying/doing things that were really disrespectful/ungrateful/hurting to others. I think I deserved them, lol. I don't automatically think of the slaps (aka the memory of them is not what comes to mind or deters me from saying insulting things to others), but they have caused me to naturally be more sensitive to others and to think through what I wish to communicate to them, especially when it is something negative.
Yeah I was smacked if I misbehaved a lot. I reckon it's a good way to discipline kids too, sometimes being shouted didn't work, but when I was smacked I can tell you that did work haha

Now we just need it in schools
Reply 22
No, I was never ever hit by my parents, they dont believe in it. But honestly, I didn't really misbehave much and if I did their tone of voice/look on their face was enough to let me know that I needed to shut my mouth.

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Yeah, it was the default form of punishment.

No, I'd never lay a finger on my kid, would never instill that fear into him/her. It tends to lead to resentment.
Reply 24
Duh we're Asians :biggrin:

No I would not want to do the same :no:
(edited 9 years ago)
I was never really slapped as a kid or anything, but my dad had no problem breaking down a bathroom door and pushing me against a wall grabbing me by the throat. He raised his fist to me but never actually punched me.
Lol mamma used to slap my ass-ets and it often felt good
Well my mom threw a slipper at me once, which i dodged but thats it:smile:
Ian's dad sounds a bit like my dad.

My dad had a short temper when I was a child, belts and slippers for not a lot. He choked me once. Hit with a TV remote and that sort of thing.

I remember one time I was about 7 or 8 and running around a shopping centre with my sister and I bumped into a rather rotund Caribbean lady. He went in in the middle of the shopping centre and she told him to stop. When we got home he went in again. I think he was right though.
My mum occasionally smacked me and it didn't do me any harm. I don't think I would smack my children though.
To my memory, my dad's only threatened to slap me, but my mother hit me quite frequently by hand or with a slipper. Both my parents have terrible tempers, but I honestly think it was detrimental and their shouting only his their message. Never want to hit my future child.
Belt + slippers galore. Lost count of the amount of slaps that I got.

Not been grabbed tho. That's straight abuse. Tended to be if I was in too much pain I'd get pissed off to the point my mother stopped hitting me. Think when she noticed that I would probably hit her back twice as hard and get aggressive then she stopped.

I did things in revenge tbf.

I wouldn't beat my kids though.
(edited 9 years ago)
My dad's motto was if you do it right the first time you won't have to do it again. The weapon of choice was the slipper then mom would wet her hand under the tap first, they called that the stinger. I tried pushing out a poo while they did it to dissuade them but I was too slow.

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My mum used to slap my butt with bush stick :teehee:
Yeah I'd get a whack now and then. I don't remember specific incidents too clearly but I definitely did get a smack at times. I probably deserved it, it was never abuse and I don't care that it happened.
Reply 35
Original post by Stefano93
And is the way to successful parenting? (Obviously not abuse, but the use of force to ensure a child doesn't get up to naughty stuff?)

Would you also hit your child presuming you had any?

Personally, I was hit so many times as a child for my wrong-doings. I remember one time my mum slapped me so hard, it almost felt like a punch for drawing "boobs" on our classboard, when I was actually trying to draw pokeballs. :moon:


yeah, we all did.
when you have 2 brothers and a sister, you can imagine how often it could be at times.
my mother didn't do it as often, but it was worst with my dad - he would only ever use a slipper and he would hit us so hard, it would leave red marks the next day or two.

personally i think it's disgusting parenting behaviour.
as a student of psychology i know all about the strength fear as a motivator, but these are your children.
i would never want to inflict physical harm on any child of mine to condition their behaviour.
as far as i'm concerned, it's lazy parenting for people who don't have the commitment or patience.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 36
Original post by jam277
Belt + slippers galore. Lost count of the amount of slaps that I got.

Not been grabbed tho. That's straight abuse. Tended to be if I was in too much pain I'd get pissed off to the point my mother stopped hitting me. Think when she noticed that I would probably hit her back twice as hard and get aggressive then she stopped.

I did things in revenge tbf.

I wouldn't beat my kids though.


things have changed through generation tbh though - my grandfather told me many stories of physical abuse received at school from teachers, but obviously that's banned now.
do you think hitting your child will eventually be banned or do you reckon that's something they could never truly enforce?
Would occassionally getted a smacked bottom if I was really naughty but most of the time fear did the trick.
Original post by Lúcio
things have changed through generation tbh though - my grandfather told me many stories of physical abuse received at school from teachers, but obviously that's banned now.
do you think hitting your child will eventually be banned or do you reckon that's something they could never truly enforce?


I can see why somebody will hit their child.

Tbh I think I'll have to slap my kid maybe a couple times if something got that bad. But would only happen once or twice. The main thing is to get respect from your kid, which is harder to do via fear, hence why I would seldom hit my kid if ever. I reckon that there will be a time I have to do it but it's not something I want to do.

Would rather make them do something constructive as punishment.
(edited 9 years ago)
Yes. The whole sha-bam and anything nearby. My mum even punched me a few times and in hindsight it does sound awful to say that, especially since realistically I was quite a good child compared to a lot of the other people I know, or even my younger brother, but she's a wonderful person nonetheless so it is very odd.

Th notion of it somehow being permissible to. The only time I would hit my child was if they were seriously violating my personal space.

I just thought of this too but I wonder how effective tickle-torture would be for young children. That is, they get "tickle time" added up over the week for their misbehavior and on the Sunday they are pinned down and tickled for that amount of time. If they are ticklish I can imagine that being quite a good deterrent and it hardly gives the impression that violence is good and it also gives them lots of time to think about what they did wrong and even quantify their wrongness or made up for it.

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