I have ZERO close friends. Is this normal?

Im a female btw so ignore the name :smile:

I've always been a person who preferred to have a small circle than a large one. I had 2 best friends in high school but we are no longer in contact as we have all changed and have nothing in common anymore. I made 4 friends in college and I ditched 3 very recently after realising im the only one who actually puts effort in maintaining the friendships (they make zero effort with me yet have time for their other friends). 1 completely stopped talking to me after a tiny misundersanding. Now im at uni (1st year) and ive made alot of acquaintances but just 1 friend :/ I feel like i want friends i have a deep connection with and actually appreciate me and put effort into the relationship. I dont think ive evet had someone as close as that in my life. I feel so lonely right now as i feel like that i have nobody other than my family. I just want a few best friends to share my life with. What should I do?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

username1449798

4

Thats life I suppose, parting ways of old friends. I suppose getting a girlfriend won't be that bad. A partner to shares experiences with.

Reply 2

NeverTooLatte

9

Well done for ditching them. Nobody should make all the effort. Life's too short to be dillydallying around people who obviously aren't that bothered. You're firsts year, so making anything more than acquaintances isn't uncommon (it's only January). "Deep connection" friendships take time, a lot more than 2 semesters. I know it's frustrating because you want to skip the getting-to-know stage and dive right into something meaningful, but just keep making new friends and working on those acquaintances. Good luck :tongue:

xx

Reply 3

prettyGirl101

OP

9

Original post by Direstraights

Thats life I suppose, parting ways of old friends. I suppose getting a girlfriend won't be that bad. A partner to shares experiences with.

Im a straight female

Reply 4

prettyGirl101

OP

9

Original post by NeverTooLatte

Well done for ditching them. Nobody should make all the effort. Life's too short to be dillydallying around people who obviously aren't that bothered. You're firsts year, so making anything more than acquaintances isn't uncommon (it's only January). "Deep connection" friendships take time, a lot more than 2 semesters. I know it's frustrating because you want to skip the getting-to-know stage and dive right into something meaningful, but just keep making new friends and working on those acquaintances. Good luck :tongue:

xx

How long does it take? :smile:

And any effective tips for making new friends? Im such a nice person and would be a loyal friend but i feel like everyone has close friends except me. If anything, im my own best friend but it gets lonely :frown:

Reply 5

NOONA.

19

I know everyone says this all the time but joining societies really helps, as you're much more likely to find people you have things in common with so you'll click with them.

Reply 6

prettyGirl101

OP

9

Original post by NOONA.

I know everyone says this all the time but joining societies really helps, as you're much more likely to find people you have things in common with so you'll click with them.

Im only a part of 2 societies but found no connection with any of them. Cant join more as its too late :/

Reply 7

somemightsay888

20

Christ. I remember you posting a thread about having only 1 friend before. Sad to see the -1 on the tally :frown:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Mary562

2

Yes! What is it with close friends seriously?

Reply 9

SomeStudent

15

Yes. As we grow up, we realise the importance of having a good quality of friends, not quantity. With that expectations get higher, and you realise that lot of your friends actually make little effort in your friendship. You can try improving them, but if they don't work out they'll end up as acquaintances. That's life.

Reply 10

prettyGirl101

OP

9

Original post by somemightsay888

Christ. I remember you posting a thread about having only 1 friend before. Sad to see the -1 on the tally :frown:

Posted from TSR Mobile

I still have her but we're not that close unortunately

Reply 11

prettyGirl101

OP

9

Original post by SomeStudent

Yes. As we grow up, we realise the importance of having a good quality of friends, not quantity. With that expectations get higher, and you realise that lot of your friends actually make little effort in your friendship. You can try improving them, but if they don't work out they'll end up as acquaintances. That's life.

How do i go about making close friends?

Reply 12

Illegal Algebra

8

I have zero friends, close or otherwise. Never had any. It's not a big deal, just have to accept it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

SomeStudent

15

Original post by BOB2014

How do i go about making close friends?

Make effort with one of your acquaintances that you actually like or make new friends by joining societies etc. Meet up with them, be relatable i.e. trust them (if they are trustworthy) and keep in contact with them every once in a while. .

Reply 14

username1449798

4

Original post by BOB2014

Im a straight female

My mistake.

I only have my husband. In real life I have no other friends at all.

Reply 16

ChaoticButterfly

20

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

I only have my husband. In real life I have no other friends at all.

I wish I had the male equivalent of a husband :sad:

Reply 17

Afghan Warrior

13

Well, I have no friends whatsoever. Get on with life and stop worrying about meaningless, unimportant things.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

prettyGirl101

OP

9

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

I only have my husband. In real life I have no other friends at all.

Doesn't your husband care that you have a lacking social life? And isnt it detrimental to the relationship as it leads to clinginess and extreme emotional dependence ?