How do I become more confident?

Hi there. So basically, I'm an introvert. I'm extremely shy and very socially awkward. I'm very bad at making casual conversation, let alone approaching someone in the first place to start one, which is why I find it really hard to make friends. I stutter a lot when I'm nervous. I'm very quiet. I tell myself that I shouldn't care about what other people think of me, but I still can't change myself.

I feel like part of my lack of confidence is due to the fact that my race is a minority in the UK, although English is my first language. I just feel out of place although I've been living here for four years.

In the next academic year I'll be starting my first year of university, and I'm really worried about making new friends. I want to start fresh and be a new, confident person, but even thinking of it makes me feel really uncomfortable and nervous. I would appreciate anybody's help.

Going to the gym helped me with my confidence. Keeps my mind clear aswell. Heres my gym experience in a nutshell

Started gym with a thick hoody, nervious of what people thought.

Then started wearing t-shirts still nervious.

Started wearing vests, i ignore what everyone else is doing.

Start the gym and constantly remind yourself that life begins outside the comfort zone..

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Going to the gym helped me with my confidence. Keeps my mind clear aswell. Heres my gym experience in a nutshell

Started gym with a thick hoody, nervious of what people thought.

Then started wearing t-shirts still nervious.

Started wearing vests, i ignore what everyone else is doing.

How has this helped you in your daily interactions outside of the gym and in society.

Have you maintained this mentality?

Hi there. So basically, I'm an introvert. I'm extremely shy and very socially awkward. I'm very bad at making casual conversation, let alone approaching someone in the first place to start one, which is why I find it really hard to make friends. I stutter a lot when I'm nervous. I'm very quiet. I tell myself that I shouldn't care about what other people think of me, but I still can't change myself.

I feel like part of my lack of confidence is due to the fact that my race is a minority in the UK, although English is my first language. I just feel out of place although I've been living here for four years.

In the next academic year I'll be starting my first year of university, and I'm really worried about making new friends. I want to start fresh and be a new, confident person, but even thinking of it makes me feel really uncomfortable and nervous. I would appreciate anybody's help.

Looks like us two are on the same boat.

Making friends is really easy if you know what exactly to do and say. You need not speak alot but just saying "hey" to the girl/guy sitting beside you in the lecture (if the lecture isnt very serious), attending meetings held by the societies(you get to meet alot of like-minded people) and being nice can help you make friends.

You need to assure yourself that everything will be okay. You have to trust yourself. If you don't trust yourself you wont be able to make others trust you.

I know how hard it is to actually do it. Maybe just fake confidence. As they say "fake it till you make it". Often faking confidence really make you confident.

To avoid stuttering what I did was that I started to take part in debates and extempores. It helped me alot to overcome fear of crowd and stage. I didn't necessarily start with huge competitions. I started with class competitions. You can give it a try. You know it really helps to speak to a mirror and practice your speech.

Just read alot of books and try speaking alot (may sound awkward I know). You must have a friend or two or your parents. Talk to them everyday about something (maybe news).

Fake/force all the things a confident person would do amd over time it will become automatic. It's a positive feedback sort of thing, the more you do it (even while you're faking it) the more it boosts you up, and the more boosted up you are, the more natural it becomes.

You make it sound so easy. If only.

How has this helped you in your daily interactions outside of the gym and in society.

Have you maintained this mentality?

Well it takes ages but it's just practice like anything else. I'm speaking from first hand experience here.

Just getting yourself out of your comfort zone & talking to new people, really. It's good to join many societies/clubs as that can help you to meet people with common interests. You just have to have positive mindset. Don't worry about people judging you negatively/potential embarrassment as that is what has held me back socially. Think these people aren't better than me, I'm going to be myself, if they react negatively then move on & don't dwell on it & talk to other people who will respond better. Just come across as polite, friendly & enthusiastic & I'm sure you'll get somewhere in the end!

Yes. If you feel better in yourself you feel better talking to other people. Just gotta remember the people you want to befriend are just like you, they have their own fears.