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Racist flatmate

A new flatmate moved in and we chatted for about 5- 10 minutes on the first day. I had teaching, so I asked to be excused. The following day, we met in the kitchen and I apologised that I needed to cut short the chat the day before as I was rushing for teaching. He said 'It is okay. I knew you went to teach something. Probably to teach Chinese.'

I was shocked to hear that. How could someone came up with such judgement when we have only spoken once... and for God sake less than 10 minutes? Okay, so if I said I have teaching, that means I went out to teach Chinese? How did he come to that conclusion? Just because of my skin colour and non-English accent?

Anyhow, I remained calm and replied 'I cannot read Chinese and have never been to China'.

Have to say that I am very annoyed and since then have decided to avoid any conversations with him. I often said I am not very keen in his research, etc (actually it was his character that pissed me off, not his research or whatsoever). He somehow managed to inject racism remarks everytime we chatted.

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That's not racism. A complete lack of foresight as well as a pointless presumption but it wasn't racism.
You probably look Chinese so what's wrong in assuming you're Chinese. Easy mistake to make I think.
A few weeks back my car crapped out on the motorway and I had to call the AA out. When the driver arrived I expected it to be a man but it was a woman. Half an hour later she'd sorted my car out and I was on my way.

Was I being sexist? Or at least to a degree that indicated I have some sort of serious problem? Of course not. We all have assumptions about the world and no amount of faux-shock/horror will cover that.
Reply 4
Avatar for VannR
VannR
21
If you are ethnically Chinese, and have a non-English accent (presumably a Chinese one), it's not exactly racist to think that you can speak Chinese, and that if you teach something, it is likely to be Chinese.

Consider if this was in China. A white, ethnically English (WASP) person with an imperfect Chinese accent (though they can speak the language) says that they're off to teach something. It would not be racist for their Chinese flatmates to think that they were going to teach English.
I once had a conversation with an American girl in which she assumed that, being Scottish, I was learning English as a foreign language as opposed to teaching it. We were conversing in fluent English. :facepalm:

Conclusion: some people are not the brightest sparks, doesn't make them racist!
Claiming 'racism' in scenarios such as this make it harder for genuine victims of it to be taken seriously.
Reply 7
Avatar for Simes
Simes
16
Original post by superwolf
I once had a conversation with an American girl in which she assumed that, being Scottish, I was learning English as a foreign language as opposed to teaching it. We were conversing in fluent English. :facepalm:
Bloody hell, she must be thicker than most. I thought all Americans knew that Scotland is in England. :rolleyes:

That didn't happen over here did it? Don't tell me she's one of the few with a passport?
Original post by Simes
Bloody hell, she must be thicker than most. I thought all Americans knew that Scotland is in England. :rolleyes:

That didn't happen over here did it? Don't tell me she's one of the few with a passport?


lol scotland isnt in england... its part of the UK
Irony alert....
Reply 10
Avatar for Ahava
Ahava
10
I think you should give them the benefit of the doubt that they weren't acting in a racist way and had no intention to offend. If it happens again, then you'll know. But everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I was once declared racist for a comment that was small and that I can't even remember making. I am not racist. But the two flatmates (who aren't the most intelligent people I've ever met) who decided it was racist went very OTT. I got reported to the landlord, who then in turn told me if the allegations are true, they would call the police. Once I gave the landlord my side of the story, she then apologised to me and was sorry I had to put up with them as flatmates. I decided to move on my own accord as they were making it a horrible place to live. They must have planned for a while that they didn't want me around, and used an allegation of racism to get rid of me.

You should be careful before putting the label of racist on someone. If everyone was stupid enough to believe I was racist, I would have lost majority of my friends. I would not have a future career. Seeing as my family are mixed race, they'd also be disgusted and wouldn't contact me for a while. My whole life would be destroyed by two silly little girls. Racism is horrible (I know, my family have received it, in front of me), but that label can also destroy lives if that person really isn't racist.
Stereotypes, assumptions and judgements are a part of life. Taking offence and feeling angry isn't really going to change anything, it just makes you miserable. Let it go.
Reply 12
Avatar for kka25
kka25
18
Original post by superwolf
I once had a conversation with an American girl in which she assumed that, being Scottish, I was learning English as a foreign language as opposed to teaching it. We were conversing in fluent English. :facepalm:

Conclusion: some people are not the brightest sparks, doesn't make them racist!


:eek:

The Scotts are :sexface:
Reply 13
Avatar for kka25
kka25
18
Original post by Ahava
I think you should give them the benefit of the doubt that they weren't acting in a racist way and had no intention to offend. If it happens again, then you'll know. But everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I was once declared racist for a comment that was small and that I can't even remember making. I am not racist. But the two flatmates (who aren't the most intelligent people I've ever met) who decided it was racist went very OTT. I got reported to the landlord, who then in turn told me if the allegations are true, they would call the police. Once I gave the landlord my side of the story, she then apologised to me and was sorry I had to put up with them as flatmates. I decided to move on my own accord as they were making it a horrible place to live. They must have planned for a while that they didn't want me around, and used an allegation of racism to get rid of me.

You should be careful before putting the label of racist on someone. If everyone was stupid enough to believe I was racist, I would have lost majority of my friends. I would not have a future career. Seeing as my family are mixed race, they'd also be disgusted and wouldn't contact me for a while. My whole life would be destroyed by two silly little girls. Racism is horrible (I know, my family have received it, in front of me), but that label can also destroy lives if that person really isn't racist.


They can't have your heart, and they won't use your mind but do what you want (with my body); do what you want with my body. They can't stop your voice cause they don't own your life but do what you want (with my body); do what you want with my body.
Reply 14
Avatar for Ahava
Ahava
10
Original post by kka25
They can't have your heart, and they won't use your mind but do what you want (with my body); do what you want with my body. They can't stop your voice cause they don't own your life but do what you want (with my body); do what you want with my body.


... You are literally my new favourite person ever :tongue:
Reply 15
Avatar for kka25
kka25
18
Original post by Ahava
... You are literally my new favourite person ever :tongue:


Remember to just dance when you remember those horrible people. Put on your poker face so they have nothing else to say. Discos and sticks may hurt your bones but the paparazzi wouldn't come to help you so just move on and remember those romance are just bad and telephone someone you love for their support; perhaps Alejandro might be there. You're born this way, so as Judas. Go to the edge and marry the night. Applaud your victory and may the best G.U.Y win!

:biggrin:
This thread has been forever tainted by Lady Gaga references.
Reply 17
Avatar for Ahava
Ahava
10
Original post by kka25
Remember to just dance when you remember those horrible people. Put on your poker face so they have nothing else to say. Discos and sticks may hurt your bones but the paparazzi wouldn't come to help you so just move on and remember those romance are just bad and telephone someone you love for their support; perhaps Alejandro might be there. You're born this way, so as Judas. Go to the edge and marry the night. Applaud your victory and may the best G.U.Y win!

:biggrin:


You're a frickin genius.

Uranus. Don't they know my ass is famous?!
Original post by superwolf
I once had a conversation with an American girl in which she assumed that, being Scottish, I was learning English as a foreign language as opposed to teaching it. We were conversing in fluent English. :facepalm:


I was in a shop in the US once when I was maybe 12 years old and the shop lady asked me where I was from, so I replied England, and she then congratulated me on my excellent english for one so young :facepalm:

Just had to share that story, so Scottish people can know that astonishingly you're not alone.
Original post by seaholme
I was in a shop in the US once when I was maybe 12 years old and the shop lady asked me where I was from, so I replied England, and she then congratulated me on my excellent english for one so young :facepalm:

Just had to share that story, so Scottish people can know that astonishingly you're not alone.


My fellow Brit, I congratulate you on your remarkable grasp of the English language. :shakehand:

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