Hi,
I would really appreciate some constructiveopinions/advice on what I should do.
So I broke up with my girlfriend recently after 10 monthsand I can honestly say it’s been the hardest thing I've ever done, hence I’msitting here writing this now almost a month after we split. Though it was only10 months, we had quite a history going back to more than 4 years and we haveboth always had this ‘soft spot’ for each other (complicated).
Anyway, the reason as to why I am struggling as much as Iam is due to the reason for the break up…
We had many arguments throughout our 10 months normallylinked in some way to the other males she enjoyed texting/inboxing, either inor outside of my personal company.
The first big argument was due to continual texting andsnap-chatting with a long-term ‘friend’ of hers. This boy had obviously a lotof interest in her judging from the things she’d told me that he’d say to her (oftensexual). This obviously made me feel uncomfortable at the fact she would still constantlytext/snap-chat him. This went on for a period until our first argument when I toldher I wasn’t comfortable with it and asked her if she liked him. She gotextremely upset, told me how long she’d waited to be with me, and that she hadno interest in this boy other than friendship. So she deleted his number which Irespected and then didn’t talk to him…at least for a while.
The second argument came from her going out clubbing with,in my opinion, a really bad influence friend, who I could never imagine beingin a committed relationship. Anyway she ended up leaving the clubs that nightwith a boys number + snapchat name. The next few days seeing her I noticed thisunnamed number flashing up on her phone, so after seeing it so many times I askedher who it was. She told me it was a boy she had spent much of the night withand that her friend she went with had given this boy her number. I told her youdon’t do this kind of this in a relationship, to which she said her friend hadgiven the boy her number, to which I responded yes but you still don’t continue to text him… that behavior anyone would expect to come from TWO single people…amI correct?
The third and final argument about this same sort ofthing came from when she went to a Christmas party with her sixth form. She thenwent up town with everyone and from what I gathered spent most of the nightwith the boys. Anyway, her and the boy from the first argument ended up gettinga taxi back together (just them two), and proceeded to exchange numbers (yes,although she’d previously deleted his number). They then continued from 5amright through until I got to hers the next night constantly texting each other.
That day she had been ignoring me pretty heavily but I justassumed she was busy…I was quite wrong.
The next day I went to hers on the night and noticed shewas barely talking to me and taking her phone everywhere with her…even to thetoilet. I had a bad feeling she was up to something and knew that if she was I wasn’tgoing to react very well, however kept it calm. Now what I did next is almostembarrassing and wish it hadn’t got to this point but my paranoia was killingme. I waited for her to go for a wash, at which point she put her phoneunderneath her pillow. As soon as she left the room I took it from underneaththe pillow and went onto her messages…
Turns out she had added this boys number again (I couldtell from the display name), despite my apparent issue with it/him. I continuedto look at the messages noticing comments from her to him such as ‘cutie’ ‘kisses’‘love heart emoji’s’ and ‘sweet dreams’ from the previous night and all thatmorning/afternoon.
That night she cried her eyes out begging me not to gohome, but I told her I was going and then coming to get my things the next day.
I love this girl. No doubting that. But she has me paranoid…
My course at uni is quite heavy in terms of workload andas time progresses I’d be able to give her less and less attention. Many timesI’ve been trying to revise in the library wondering what she’s actually up toat home/who she’s talking to now, so it’s had an effect on my study. She’srather needy/attention-loving for male attention if you haven’t already noticed…
She’s hinted that if I want to take her back she’s therefor me to do so, but I know this wouldn’t last for long as a lot of boys are ‘after’her. Before we officially split she told me that I’d never find a girl wholoved me as much as she did and to be honest, I’m kind of agreeing with thatpoint of view :/ that worries me.
Anyway, my question to you is do you think I’ve made theright choice or do you think my paranoia has got the better of me and caused mea relationship with the girl I love?
Thank you for taking the time out to read this and ifanything needs clearing up for you to give me your opinion, just ask.